(Closed) The whole gift thing….I really dont care! Anyone else?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m with you.  We are older (42 & 41) and have everything we need.  No registries.

We don’t care about gifts.   I really just want people to celebrate the day with us.

Thank you cards are to thank people for sharing the day with you so everyone gets one.

Post # 4
902 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m 29 and honestly don’t care about gifts at all.  Anything anyone brings I will be happy with and if it’s something I couldn’t use/want then I’ll return for something else.  No biggie.

I just want to have a good time and marry my best friend.  Everything else is just a bonus 🙂

Post # 5
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree! If anything, you are providing a sigh of relief to those who are struggling in this economy!

Post # 6
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree! Gifts are nice, but the thing I’m most excited about is seeing all of those people we both love in one space.. this will never happen again.. and I get overwhelmingly happy every time I think about it. Their presence will definitely be enough for me 🙂



Post # 8
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I just want people to come. I don’t want anyone to feel like they need to gift is anything for the occasion- I just want them at the party!

By the time we’re married, we will have owned our home for almost two years and will have been living together for three. I registered for some “upgrade” stuff that I’m sure older relatives will be happy to purchase (and a stand mixer…of course lol). No registry stalking, no inventory on cash gifts, just an awesome ceremony and a fun party and thank you notes in a timely fashion 🙂

Post # 9
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I definitely wanted the things I registered for since I’m setting up a home from scratch and really needed almost everything on the registry. However I wasn’t upset if someone didnt give a gift! That isn’t why I got married and had the wedding lol

Post # 10
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re the same – no gifts.  If anyone chooses to give us a personal gift that would be lovely but we’re requesting no gifts.  I do know of one person who is making us a work of art and I’m excited about that.  We aren’t registering anywhere.  We’re in our 40’s also and combined two households into one, so we don’t need anything.  We just want our loved ones to enjoy our wedding day with us, nothing more.

Post # 11
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

We actually passed around word we did not want any gifts (very small guest list so it was easy enough to let people know!). For many reasons including:

1. By time we married we already had each been living on our own for many years, as well as together, and had all the “stuff” we needed or wanted.

2. We were doing a Destination Wedding and had no desire to have to worry about hauling stuff back.

3. We hate clutter or stuff just to have stuff.

4. We are very picky about stuff we do own and yeah, while we could register, we tend to like to research things for a LONG time before buying!

5. We felt our guests were being asked enough of in attending the Destination Wedding, any more was ridiculous. Their presence really WAS our gift, and in turn we tried to make it easier for them and instead also gave them some generous vouchers to use at the resort.

6. I was a bit more of the anti-bride. The idea of even having to THINK of registering was uninviting to me!

We still received some small more personal gifts from some (like a neat item they picked up at the Destination Wedding location to serve as a memento, or something custom engraved for us to store photos and such from our wedding) as well as some cash gifts from others, but most did not give a gift and that was perfectly fine with us!



Post # 12
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Most of my friends would be mortified at the thought of showing up at a wedding without a gift; that’s how I was raised too, and I’m currently feeling a bit ashamed at having gone to a wedding without a gift. In our defense, the bride and groom, also an established household, requested paypal contributions towards their honeymoon, but whenever we asked for their paypal address, they said “Do not give us anything because it’s costing you a fortune just to get here; your attendance is enough.”  Which I appreciate, as we had to take a Transatlantic flight, plus all the hotel and other expenses, but I’m still not comfortable with it.  We even offered to treat the couple to an experience/event in one of the cities on their Honeymoon— an event my Mr and I have actually done, and really enjoyed, but they will not accept.  So it’s quite the battle of wills going on!

At any rate, we don’t want stuff, we don’t need stuff, but we did create a small registry specifically because people are going to buy gifts anyway, so it would be better for us to give them a few suggestions than to end up taking their gifts and shoving them in the closet. We registered for about a dozen items for our newly renovated kitchen, ranging from $20-125, and listed our favorite hotel chain and airline if the guests want to contribute to a generic travel fund (our honeymoon is pretty much booked and paid for).  We also suggested a charitable donation to the rescue from which I got our dog.

 The materialistic part of me secretly wishes to recoup some of the insane expenses of this wedding (we are paying for it all).  I wouldn’t mind ending up wiith a nice stack of Marriott dollars and United dollars because my Mr and I have travelled extensively, and completely cut the travel budget to pay for the wedding.  But I will not be angry with anyone who does not give a gift— most of the guests have been to our house, and they know we’re high salary people with everything we need. If I were hell-bent on ending up with a big haul, I’d be charging a cover charge. 

If someone wants to give a gift— monetary, material goods or gift card– I will accept it graciously, and if someone decides not to give a gift, I will still be thankful to host them, and still be glad to call them a friend.

Post # 14
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I feel the same way – no registry, no bridal shower.  Some checks would be nice, but I am so awkward with the social aspects of gift-receiving (“It’s soooo perfect, just what I wanted! Thank youuuuu!!!!” Laughing) that I decided to take that pressure off of myself.  Just show up and eat and drink, people!  That, I can do well!

I’m also buying a house at the end of June, so I asked for some favors in lieu of gifts.  (“Oh, you know how to lay a laminate wood floor?  Innnnteresting….”)

Post # 15
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I hate gifts.  90% of the time they are not something I want or need, so they just add to the clutter in my house.  It doesn’t make me feel especially good when someone gets me a gift that feels gratuitous.  I also hate buying gratuitous gifts.  I don’t mind spending money on people but I hate feeling obligated to get them something when I can’t think of something meaningful.  Grrrr.

And don’t get me started on gift cards.

Post # 16
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We did register, we have a normal amount of gift choices chosen etc, frankly we do need a lot of stuff as even thoigh we are in our 30s and homeowners, I have always loved with friends who had everything already, and fh is divorced and has cheap filler stuff because his ex wife took all the nice things they had. So basically we have nothing nice of our own and our new house is pretty empty. That being said, I really could care less about the gifts, I am so excited for everyone to come and share a fun weekend with us, not reap the benefits of their generosity. We have already had some stuff start coming in that people have mailed and I usually try to figure out who sent it without opening it so I can let them know we received it and say thank you. I have no desire to go ripping into them to see what kind of goodies someone bought me. We will wait until after the wedding. 

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