(Closed) The worst bridesmaids in the universe….quite literally! (long)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wish I had somethigng helpful to say, but I don’t. I find it absolutely ridiculous that these people lack the ability to act like adults. Regardless, they will soon be your family and as corny as it sounds, all you can really do is be the bigger person. Now, I’m not saying that you should be a doormat nor comply with everything they say, but rather ignore them as politely as you can. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this. Perhaps your future husband can have a chat with his family about respecting the woman who is going to be his wife. Just remember, your wedding is about ouryou and your future husband and you do not deserve to be bulllied. If they don’t like it and your future husband can’t talk some sense into them, then they don’t need to be a part of your lives. It’s not ideal, obviously, but you can only control yourself and your own behavior and they need to be responsible for themselves and their actions because their adults and it is absurb for them to be acting this way.

Post # 5
968 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh wow, I really don’t know. I’ve been sitting here trying to think of something. All I can think of are things that would be very rash and unladylike and probably just give them things to use as ammunition against you.

I want to say to delete them off your facebook, call them out on sneaking around, tell them they are a far cry from being anywhere near as kind, gracious and accepting as you and the women in your family. Then flip them the bird, because honestly, those are the feelings that reading this post gives me towards all those uppity, self-entitled, clueless, snarky women you’re having to deal with.. (actually, my mind imagined much more explicit and pointed reactions than this paragraph even came close to conveying..)

But that probably wouldn’t do…

I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I wish I was able to come up with something more helpful. 🙁 Hang in there and keep doing whatever is most true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable in whatever situation you find yourself in. Maybe they’ll finally recognize how shameful they’ve been on their own…

Post # 6
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hi Mrsgtobe,

First of all, sorry that you’re having to deal with all this drama. It sounds like your future inlawas are behaving in a very immature way. You could try and talk to them but they may not change their behaviour, some people are just very awkward and  self centred. One thing to remember though is that many people who are not getting married themselves do not really understand the importance of the day to the people involved, and see the wedding more like any party so theymay not realise how upsetting their behaviour is.

As for your Future Mother-In-Law, I would just ignore her. If she wants to be difficult that’s her choice. try to rise above it and just enjoy your wedding and the time leading up to it. Everyone will see that she is the one causing issues and being awkward if you just deal with her calmly. She’s obviously a troublemaker and I wouldn’t give her the time of day, you can spend your energy in much better ways!

How does your Fiance handle this situation, it seems like the people causing trouble are all his relatives? So really he should be the one to speak to his family and tell them this kind of behaviour is not acceptable. I would get your Fiance to deal with his family (and you can to do the stern talk to yours).

Good luck!

Post # 8
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I remember some of your earlier posts, but not the outcomes – sounds like things aren’t going well. 🙁

I have to echo the common question here – what does your Fiance do/say about all of this?

Post # 9
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Some people never grow up!

Post # 10
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

oh gee whiz what a situation!

There not acting at all mature or adult like, more like coniving… (and well what I really want to say is not very nice).

like seriously.. there are some battles to let go but there are other times when you need to get your HULK on and throw em to the ground. Which one do you feel like choosing?

If you let it go, will this behaviour continue until you have no self esteem? because there tactics are childish and bullying. If you say something directly and get your hulk on? will you feel better about it getting it out in the open. Theres lots of pros and cons to both sides.. Might be worthwhile making a list on what path you choose.

Best of luck… just dont go painting yourself green to look like the hulk 😉

Post # 11
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m sorry about your neice. As an Angel Mom, I think saying anything rude about your neice is unforgivable, but I’m VERY biased about this.

Honestly, he’s doing the right thing by talking to them without you there. However, if they continue, he needs to be able to distance himself from them for the start of your family. I hope things get better

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