(Closed) The Worst Words (I need to vent)

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@ArmyBeee:  But that is also an intimidating time for many peopel because so many people are around at once. And because there are traditions and expectations and running around. The best time to get to know someone is a time when its more relaxed. A casual dinner, drinks etc.

If you really want him to get to know your parents/family you need to set it up so there is time for one on one conversation. Holidays are not generally opportune for this.

Post # 19
Member
2374 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

 Having dealt with the  in laws from hell (ex’s  family, not fiance thankfully),  while you marry the person, never make the mistake of thinking that the family won’t be involved. If you’re both very family oriented people, that’s something that should be important to the both of you. Set up some casual, low stress times for all of you to get together – drinks, lunch, even game day if you’re all into sports. That way you don’t have the pressure of holidays, and he can feel comfortable around them.

Post # 21
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee

Have you put wedding planning on hold?  I hope you haven’t put deposits down on anything, and I wouldn’t resume planning the wedding until you’re officially, slam-dunk engaged!

Post # 23
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

@ArmyBeee:  I kind of agree with some of the PPs, it’s nice that he wants to get to know your family but unless he’s going to change his mind about marrying you, it doesn’t stop you from being engaged. He can get to know them while you’re engaged and married.

Post # 26
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

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@ArmyBeee:  It’s a sweet thought and I guess you have no other option but to happily wait and look forward to being able to call him yours forever 🙂

Post # 28
Member
2034 posts
Buzzing bee

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@ArmyBeee:  I’m sorry to hear about your delay.  I know that it sucks but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with his reasoning.

Is he in the Army (only guessing bc of your username)?  Maybe he is just traditional.  Is he the kind of man that wants to ask for your dad’s hand in marriage?  OR maybe he did ask for your dad’s hand in marriage and your dad is pumping the breaks because he feels like he doesn’t know your BF that well.

I say this because my SO is very traditional like this, and I know that unless he has my father’s approval/permission, he will not be moving forwarded with the proposal.

Post # 29
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@ArmyBeee:  Being the ever optimist, maybe he is planning on surprising you like Vsmart mentioned? My fiance did something similar with me. We talked all the time about getting engaged and I had hoped we would get engaged around when we graduated college this year. When he told me he wanted to wait until he had more money saved up I was really bummed. Turns out he had already bought the ring and proposed to me on the cruise we took shortly after we graduated. I was completely surprised! Crossing my fingers that that’s the case for you Smile

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