Post # 1
I know most of the folks here at WeddingBee are planning their weddings and not necessarily attending others’ but the advice here was great when I was planning so I’m hoping for another bit of it. ^^
My sister is getting married but she has only registered at one store and it is one that my husband and I refuse to shop at for a variety of personal reasons. I’m afraid to buy something similar or identical to what they would like from another store because it won’t be counted and they may get a duplicate (and returning our gift could be troublesome as we like 3,000 miles away).
Should we suck it up and just buy from her list? Should we come up with an alternative gift that maybe she hadn’t thought of but would appreciate? Or should we go on and buy from another store and either hope that no one else gets that item or let her know ahead of time so she can edit the registry?
What are folks’ thoughts?
Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
You can buy something they registered for anywhere, and then notify the store that it has been bought and they will mark it as purchased so they couple wont get two. My mom did this for me.
Post # 4
Just buy them something else. The registry is only a suggestion. Include a gift receipt so she can exchange in case she does have a double.
Post # 4
Or you can just give them cash!
Post # 5
Would you mind sharing what store it is? I would probably just give cash or since it is your sister something more personal. I love the idea of doing a bunch of wine bottles to be opened on married “firsts” such as first married birthdays, first married Christmas, New Years, first house, first baby, etc. I also love the idea of framing a map of the place where the couple got married. Darling Husband and I gave the following gift to our friends that got married in Colombia and they loved it…it’s now hanging in their living room
Post # 5
The registry is just a wish list, nothing more. Find something that you think they would like and buy it elsewhere.
Post # 6
I would recommend picking up a Visa gift card. That way they can spend the money on any store of their choosing and you don’t have to hand them a wad of cash.
I typically get these at Target but you can purchase them directly through Visa as well.
Post # 7
Assuming I know what store you are talking about, I then also assume that the item can be purchased at any nationwide store. If that is the case, why not buy the item and she can return the duplicate, at her store or at the store of your choosing that is also close to her.
If you really don’t want to let he know that you basically disapprove of her wedding choice, I agree w PP and call the registry yourself once you have purchased from a different store. Or you can just fib and say you saw a registry item while you were in another store and ask her to remove the item herself.
Post # 8
Since this is for your sister, I would take it as an opportunity to do something unique and special for her — let the rest of the family and friends take the more impersonal registry items.
I’m not sure what to suggest, exactly, but you know her best. A beautifully-framed photograph or picture she loves? A card detailing a special spa day, just for the two of you? Special foods she loves all together in one basket? Like I said, I don’t know what she’d like, but I’m guessing you do!
Post # 9
@Ember78: Eek. Is this as widespread as you believe? I don’t generally give off registry unless I am giving cash (which is what I do for the actual wedding present; not the shower). I am not a fan of going off because I have heard too many horror stories of “thoughtful” gifts, that are often never used, and sometimes never appreciated. I think many couples put a lot of time into their registries and don’t love getting a set of pirate-themed candlesticks if they didn’t ask for them.
In every other gift giving situation, the giver unilaterally makes the gift decision. I think a wedding is a little bit different though. Obviously, you should always graciously accept any gift given, but I would avoid giving an unsolicited gift as a wedding present.
Post # 10
Oh wow, so many responses in just a few minutes. <3
I’m afraid I’m not willing to mention the store–I know how opinions can be on store loyalty and I don’t want to start a mess. ^^
I really appreciate all of the suggestions, ideas, and advice. You’ve all given me lots to think about and I’ll keep reading the responses.
Cheers all! ^^
Post # 11
If it is important to you / you know it is really important to your sister, then totally choose something brand name off the registry and buy it elsewhere. Like pp said, just let the store know and they should remove it.
Otherwise, just buy something nice for her. Registries aren’t mandatory.
Post # 12
If you want to get a gift that is on the registry but not from that store, you can probably find it elsewhere and then tell your sister what you bought so that she can remove it from the registry (preventing duplicates). My guess is that your sister won’t be worried about this at all, just make sure when you discuss it that you don’t turn it into a discussion of why you won’t shop at the store she registered at–just say that you were super excited to get her a present for her wedding and that you found it and bought it but want to make sure she doesn’t end up with a duplicate.
Post # 13
Here’s what I got for my sister- I wanted to get her an “experience” because I knew she was going to Disneyworld. I wanted to get a “swim with the dolphins” certificate. That was too complicated so I settled for a really nice dinner. I didn’t know what restaurants they would frequent (probably mostly stuff in DW) so I ended up giving her a note with $100 saying “Go have a REALLY nice dinner with all the fixings”. Perhaps you could give a gift card for an “experience” for their honeymoon? Or just pitch in money for them to spend on something fun? I know spending money for the honeymoon will def. be something they will enjoy 🙂
If not, you can always get them something at target/walmart/jcpenneys- these places are very easy to access and return items assuming they live in the US?
Post # 14
Hmmm that’s tough, I don’t shop there either and I would probably just give cash and a pretty peice of jewelry or something sentimental. Since it’s your sister you could tell her how you feel about that store and ask if there’s anything else she’d like from another store. But right now she’s probably hurting for money and if you give cash she’ll use it wherever she wants and your conscience is clear. If cash is too awkward for you maybe give a gift card to the grocery store she goes to.
I definitely don’t think it’s impolite to order off of a registry, in fact it’s impolite to expect certain gifts.