(Closed) Their only registry is at a store we don’t shop at. Any advice?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

You can buy something they registered for anywhere, and then notify the store that it has been bought and they will mark it as purchased so they couple wont get two.  My mom did this for me.

Post # 4
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee

Just buy them something else. The registry is only a suggestion. Include a gift receipt so she can exchange in case she does have a double.

Post # 4
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Or you can just give them cash!

Post # 5
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Would you mind sharing what store it is? I would probably just give cash or since it is your sister something more personal. I love the idea of doing a bunch of wine bottles to be opened on married “firsts” such as first married birthdays, first married Christmas, New Years, first house, first baby, etc. I also love the idea of framing a map of the place where the couple got married. Darling Husband and I gave the following gift to our friends that got married in Colombia and they loved it…it’s now hanging in their living room

Post # 5
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

The registry is just a wish list, nothing more. Find something that you think they would like and buy it elsewhere.

Post # 6
Hostess
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I would recommend picking up a Visa gift card. That way they can spend the money on any store of their choosing and you don’t have to hand them a wad of cash.

I typically get these at Target but you can purchase them directly through Visa as well.

Post # 7
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

Assuming I know what store you are talking about, I then also assume that the item can be purchased at any nationwide store.  If that is the case, why not buy the item and she can return the duplicate, at her store or at the store of your choosing that is also close to her.

If you really don’t want to let he know that you basically disapprove of her wedding choice, I agree w PP and call the registry yourself once you have purchased from a different store.  Or you can just fib and say you saw a registry item while you were in another store and ask her to remove the item herself.

Post # 8
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Since this is for your sister, I would take it as an opportunity to do something unique and special for her — let the rest of the family and friends take the more impersonal registry items. 

I’m not sure what to suggest, exactly, but you know her best. A beautifully-framed photograph or picture she loves? A card detailing a special spa day, just for the two of you? Special foods she loves all together in one basket? Like I said, I don’t know what she’d like, but I’m guessing you do!

Post # 9
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

@Ember78:  Eek.  Is this as widespread as you believe?  I don’t generally give off registry unless I am giving cash (which is what I do for the actual wedding present; not the shower).  I am not a fan of going off because I have heard too many horror stories of “thoughtful” gifts, that are often never used, and sometimes never appreciated.  I think many couples put a lot of time into their registries and don’t love getting a set of pirate-themed candlesticks if they didn’t ask for them.

In every other gift giving situation, the giver unilaterally makes the gift decision. I think a wedding is a little bit different though.  Obviously, you should always graciously accept any gift given, but I would avoid giving an unsolicited gift as a wedding present.

Post # 11
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If it is important to you / you know it is really important to your sister, then totally choose something brand name off the registry and buy it elsewhere.  Like pp said, just let the store know and they should remove it. 

Otherwise, just buy something nice for her.  Registries aren’t mandatory.

Post # 12
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If you want to get a gift that is on the registry but not from that store, you can probably find it elsewhere and then tell your sister what you bought so that she can remove it from the registry (preventing duplicates).  My guess is that your sister won’t be worried about this at all, just make sure when you discuss it that you don’t turn it into a discussion of why you won’t shop at the store she registered at–just say that you were super excited to get her a present for her wedding and that you found it and bought it but want to make sure she doesn’t end up with a duplicate.

Post # 13
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Here’s what I got for my sister- I wanted to get her an “experience” because I knew she was going to Disneyworld. I wanted to get a “swim with the dolphins” certificate. That was too complicated so I settled for a really nice dinner. I didn’t know what restaurants they would frequent (probably mostly stuff in DW) so I ended up giving her a note with $100 saying “Go have a REALLY nice dinner with all the fixings”. Perhaps you could give a gift card for an “experience” for their honeymoon? Or just pitch in money for them to spend on something fun? I know spending money for the honeymoon will def. be something they will enjoy 🙂

If not, you can always get them something at target/walmart/jcpenneys- these places are very easy to access and return items assuming they live in the US?

Post # 14
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hmmm that’s tough, I don’t shop there either and I would probably just give cash and a pretty peice of jewelry or something sentimental. Since it’s your sister you could tell her how you feel about that store and ask if there’s anything else she’d like from another store. But right now she’s probably hurting for money and if you give cash she’ll use it wherever she wants and your conscience is clear. If cash is too awkward for you maybe give a gift card to the grocery store she goes to.

I definitely don’t think it’s impolite to order off of a registry, in fact it’s impolite to expect certain gifts.

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