(Closed) There is NO co-parenting here…step parents help! (long-ish)

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Miss. RubyLove:  Step one, calm down, your doing an awesome job and if no one says that to you, I will…AWESOME!  Now that we’re calm, let’s keep the mommy bashing to a minimum, it’s destructive and beneath you, she did one thing right and he lives in your house…nuff said.  And finally to the issue at hand, I get that he wanted to go to this birthday and his mom said no, I’ll admit she’s got no real reason to say that, but she did…how many times have I uttered, “because i said so”  it’s a parental survival tool, and ok, he cried all night….It sucks that he was sad, and that his mom said he couldn’t go, but that’s what happened and here’s the life lesson, you don’t get everything you want all the time….if it were me, I would go talk to him and see if we could arrage a special birthday outing with his friend some other time to their favorite place to eat or whatever they’re into…That way, you don’t get pulled into a confrontation with Mom, no one gets villified and everybody wins, plus our boy learns to think outside the box and solve problems creativley.

Post # 4
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Well, since I’ve been that 11 year old, having to decide if I want to go spend time with the parent I only see once a month, I’d say 11 totally is an ok age to start deciding. 

I made the final decision to stop seeing my parent at… 14 I think? We said our goodbyes (since the parent showed up at our door anyway) and we haven’t talked or seen each other since.

 

Post # 5
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Hi 🙂 I hope you get the answers you are looking for .

I am not a step mom but a mom. You are married to his father, so I think you have just as much say if not more, than his biological mother.

I know 11 year olds who are given the privilege of making their own decisions on where or what they want to do, so I don’t think he is too young.

Maybe you could try compromising with his Biomother, maybe she could take him to the party. I dont’ know. She doesn’t sound very nice. Good Luck.

By The Way, I was 20 when I had my first child, so I don’t think its just about age. It also has to do with morals and upbringing. 🙂 

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