Post # 1
I got back together with my SO last year. We had broken up and been apart for a while.
Things have soured. My SO has major issues with depression and so on. It has been difficult, but he has been doing better with medication.
Well, my family is taking me on a two week trip, all expenses paid, which is unusual. My SO is flipping out, saying he needs me here. He is claiming he will die if I go. He means this very literally. He says he will succumb and will die.
This is awful, but I am fucking done with this. I need him to feed the animals and walk the dog and he is saying there is no way he can do that.
I will be honest, before this I was pretty done before this. He has had trouble with work due to his medical issues and mental ones and told me he had ajob a while back. This was while he was trying to court me. As it turns out he was being given the money. This also means he lied about an entire string of things. It is awful. He doesn’t know that I know that bit.
I just want to go on this trip, have him keep the animals alive and give me time to think. I don’t want to bring the money thing up before in case something weird happens.
What the fuck.
I obviously can’t talk to anyone in my life, so here I am. Regular bee gone anon.
He is being such a manipulative jerk and asking me if the trip is worth is life. UGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Post # 2
Have the animals stay with a friend or board them.
Post # 3
Put your animals in a kennel while your gone and change all your contact info this sounds like complete BS
Post # 4
If there’s no way an adult man cannot care for your pets, find someone who will. Get a friend to watch them or find a pet setting service.
This guy needs more help than you can give him.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
anonbee33333: Ahhh, manipulation at its finest.
I’m with aggiemae: on this. You need to find someone else to watch the animals.
If you have contact info for his friends and relatives, I would call a few people before you leave and let them know he is having a hard time and you are worried he may do something drastic while you are gone. That way, they cn keep an eye on him, and you don’t have to worry about coming home to a crime scene.
Then, after you’ve returned, have a serious discussion with him and break things off. I would have a new place to live lined up before this happens so that you can quickly exit after you’ve said your piece.
Post # 7
aggiemae: sway0060: KC-2722: I would gladly board them if I could afford it. He hasn’t said anything since I told him about the trip weeks ago until last night.
Any meager savings I have I would like to keep as just in case money.
For the record the animals are a dog, two cats and a turtle.
Also we live together, otherwise I would see if someone could stop in. I also leave within the week.
Post # 8
Find a friend and pay him/her a small fee for caring for your animals if you can’t afford to board them. Your SO sounds like a jerk.
Post # 9
Sounds like you are in an extremely unhealthy relationship and I would be making an exit plan ASAP
Post # 10
anonbee33333: If you cannot afford to leave your animals in a safe place, you really shouldn’t be going on vacation then.
Post # 11
1. Call his parents or a close friend and tell them that you’re leaving the guy and that he’s threatening suicide. (Find alternate boarding options for your pets!)
2. Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. Take time on the trip to ask yourself “is his life worth more than mine?” “Why am I giving him all of my life energy to the point where I’m drained and don’t have any left over for myself?” “What does he bring into MY life?” “How does he make MY life better?” How does he make me feel safe and secure?”
3. Don’t look back.
Post # 12
anonbee33333: You need to get him some help; you are not his babysitter.
That said– board the animals to make sure they are safe (you obviously can’t count on him to be thier babysitter)–
Post # 13
Others may get upset with me for saying this but get out now. It sounds as though he has more issues than just depression. He seems like a very manipulative and selfish individual to say something like that and put his life in your hands, though I imagine it’s an empty threat and that’s he’s just trying to guilt you into not going. It’s likely that he’s insecure and has a bunch of thoughts about what may happen on this trip but that doesn’t give him the right to make statements like that. As someone who has dealt with depression for years, on many different levels, I have never once said this to anyone I’ve been with, even in the most extreme situations. He clearly has much more going on than depression and needs to go see a mental health professional and stop relying on you and making you feel like his life and future depend on you. That isn’t fair for him to that to you. Go and enjoy your trip with your parents and get someone else to feed/watch your animals (as he could rebel against your wishes if he’s really as sick as he’s portraying himself to be), I would hate to see the animals become victim to his lunacy. This is a form of mental abuse – It’s wrong and he knows it. Don’t let him toy with you like that. If he’s on medication and still acting this way then that’s just who he is as a person and no medication will change that. He sounds like he needs serious help and it isn’t your job to do that for him but do encourage him to speak with someone. If you were already “done” then I would take the step and end it now. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I hope you go and enjoy your trip. Good luck!
Post # 14
Tell your family. What he is doing is borderline abusive to not only you but your animals as well. Your family may know more people who can watch your animals. I don’t feel you are safe in this relationship. Nobody should make you feel like this.
Post # 15
Double post that got cut off- oops!