(Closed) There should be a section on here for FMILs!! I hate her so much!!!! VENT!!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow! That’s a really tough situation. Has your fiancee really tried to sit down with his mother to explain how inappropriate she is behaving? He really needs to stand up for you and boundaries need to be set or this will continue to happen for the rest of your lives.

Post # 4
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow!  I can see you are very upset by this woman…and I am sure she would be very happy to know you are rethinking marrying her son.  It is very important to remember that if you do marry him she will forever be a part of your life, not just your husband’s mother, but grandmother to any kids you may have.  Here is what I would do if I were in your shoes:

1) Ask your Fiance to not tell you anything that his mom says about you.  It is obviously not productive and it will only make you more upset.

2) Help your Fiance set up clear boundaries with his mom.  Let him know how much she is hurting you and your relationship (I am sure he knows to some extent) and agree between yourselves how much a part of your life she will be.  He will then need to go to her and explain how much he loves you, that you are not doing the things she is accusing you of, and that if she wishes to be a part of his life she will need to follow certain guidelines.  She is should NOT be allowed to overstep these boundaries.

3) Seek professional counseling with Fiance.  It sounds like you need some professional help with this situation.

4) Keep in mind that the people she is talking about you to probably already know she is a little crazy and will hopefully not form negative opinions about you based on what she is saying. 


Good luck! 

Post # 6
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Sounds horrible! If my mother was like that I wouldn’t speak to her anymore, I don’t think a person deserves your love or time just because they are related to you. They still need to treat you with respect if they want to be part of your life. I hope the two of you can come to some kind of arrangement that doesn’t drive you insane 🙂

Post # 7
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

*Hugs*  Previous posters have given some sound advice.  You and your Fiance need to make a life for yourselves.  Eventually things will settle down.  My parents went through something similar when they were first married and their 30th anniversary is 2 days after our wedding.  

Post # 8
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree! There should be special section for FMILs!


Post # 9
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

ugh this reminds me of me and my Mother-In-Law 3 years ago.  Back then Darling Husband was my Boyfriend or Best Friend and we were on a bit of a break..   She started going off about how manipulative I am, that Im going to get pregnant just to keep him with me, blah blah blah..exactly what your Future Mother-In-Law is doing.  The worst part was when he would stand up for me, she was say he was betraying her and his loyalty wasnt to her and all this Bullsh*t.  But now we’re good as ever. 

We are very close now suprisingly but she still does things that really bug me.  Like, she will tell me that I need to do X for a living because I would be good at it. Tries to control meaningless things, she even came over yesterday and I guess she didnt like a picture we had on our fridge and actually slid that picture underneath another picture.  Just weird stuff though.  And I’ll never forget one thing she said days before our wedding.  We had the reception at DH’s parents house, Darling Husband was giving her grief about something -she was trying to fit 80 people where 80 people were just NOT going to fit- and she said ” This is MY wedding”  Darling Husband and I were like…”well actually…its ours…”

Most of the time I just let her stuff slide.  She is his mother, and she will be around for another 40 years so we might as well make the best of it.  She still does some really great and generous things, but there are her crazy moments too lol. You’re not alone!

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