I grew up in a home where both my parents had terrible tempers, and this did turn abusive at times, so I feel I can offer some insight. Lo and behold, I chose to be in relationships with three different guys who had bad tempers until I realised what was going on.
If you grew up in a volatile, angry home as a child, you have developed coping mechanisms which will just automatically kick in when you meet someone else who has a temper. It will be unconscious, you won’t even realise you’re doing it, and you will be normalising behaviour which you should otherwise recognise is unhealthy and stay away from. You will also most likely internalise that person’s behaviour and blame yourself in some way (I notice in your post you said you find yourself asking what is wrong with you).
You need to ask yourself what these coping mechanisms are that are allowing you to overlook the fact that this man has a terrible temper, and also what thought processes are allowing you to blame yourself. A professional may be able to help you with this. Recognising and undoing these habits from the past will be what allows you to break this pattern.
The second thing that I wanted to point out is that, like other PPs have mentioned, you must look at the totality of who the person is, not just zero in on how they are with you at the beginning of the relationship. First of all, nearly every man on the planet will be on his best behaviour and treat you fantastically at the beginning of a relationship if you are a woman he is interested in. They do this for several reasons, but you need to recognise it and not be completely taken in by it. The true nature of the person takes longer to reveal.
Second of all, we get hooked into this self-affirming belief that if a person is a douche to other people but lovely to us, it must be because we are so special and because of his great love for us. It boosts our ego to believe this. Whilst it may well be true that you are special and that he does love you, he may be able to treat you well for a while, but how he treats other people will eventually come out in his interactions with you. This is not something you’ve done – it’s how he is as a person. Being rude and nitpicking – this will escalate to controlling behaviour and angry outbursts.
I dated a guy once whom an acquaintance of mine had dated a few years earlier. All I had heard was that their relationship had ended badly and that she had a very poor opinion of him and wouldn’t talk to him, even though we were all part of the same social circle. This guy also seemed to have very few friends and did not seem to be well-liked. I dated him and he was besotted with me. Treated me like a princess and was all over me. Was an absolute gentleman. There were little signs of temper and controlling behaviour but they were very little, and I brushed them under the rug. A few months in and he had three separate rage fits at me over absolutely nothing which culminated in him throwing hot chocolate in my face. Obviously I left him and blocked him at that point, and I subsequently heard from my acquaintance who dated him that he was jealous and angry when she was with him and used to make her cry all the time.
If in doubt about whether or not to stay with him, my suggestion would be to contact an ex-girlfriend of his if you can and see if he took out his temper on her. In my opinion, that will be a sure sign of the way your relationship will probably go.