(Closed) There’s always one

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow… I’m really sorry you are dealing with all that.

Your aunt sounds like she’s very insecure and craves attention as well as being a drama inciting pot-stirrer.

Seems like they need a show called “aunt-zilla” just for her!

(((Hugs))) to you. Hopefully you and your mom will be able to look back at this and laugh at some point.

Don’t let her ruin your day. She’s making herself look bad and as long as you continue to take the high road, you’ll look great for putting up with her antics and she’ll look like the fool.

Hope your time at home is ok.

All the best to you and your mom!

Post # 4
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I know that is is bad ediquite to un invite someon….e but prehaps you could sit her down and tell her, Look, chill your ass out or you will not be allowed to attend my wedding?
I feel like if she is making your mom ill, that would be enough to make me tell her to stay home.  The rest of your family sees the nonsence that she is pulling so I don’t think anyone will blame you.

Good luck…

Post # 5
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Cariad: Wow, that’s a long list… mental illness could be a real possibility. Sounds like she needs help, but in the meantime you needs to draw boundaries and not mention any of the wedding planning to her. I’m assuming she is not paying for anything, so keep it to a need to know basis. 

Post # 6
Member
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

This is not healthy behavior.  If her mother’s bipolar, it sounds like this could be a real possibility.  

Post # 8
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

Wow. You guys are saints for putting up with that. I think she would have long ago pushed me off the “higher road.” After that list? Yeah, she’d be getting a personal phone call (like she wants) from me to formally revoke her invitation to my wedding that she’s made every attempt to sabotage. But that’s just me. I’m sorry you have to put up with this.

Post # 9
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder….

Post # 10
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

This is so strange!  I could expect this type of behavior from someone’s mother (although never acceptable, in any case), but from someone’s aunt this is just ridiculous!  I can’t say I exactly relate, but my aunt (uncle’s wife) is sort of the same way.  It is sort of like she’s jealous of my mother and my Future Mother-In-Law and their involvement with things.  She expects some sort of special recognition at my wedding, which is crazy because she’s not my mother.  Not even close.  I hope you guys can distance yourself from her.  I know it will be hard, but it may be necessary to preserve the quality of your day.

Post # 11
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

OMG (Hugs). I’m glad you’re talking with your uncle about this cause you don’t need that kind fo drama in your day.

Is there a way you can ask her to chill or univite her like PPS said?

Post # 12
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Welcome to MY world. I have been through this EXACT SAME THING with my aunt and her hubby. Except they are on my mom’s side. (My mom’s bro and his wife.) And holy guacamole! The crap these two have put us through together. I don’t think they’ve worked this hard on ANYTHING else together (including their marital relations) as they did to try and ruin my wedding.

The best you can do is try to only think abt the actual meaning of the wedding. Think abt ur Fiance and yourself. That’s it. F**k everyone else. I realized this uncle and aunt CLEARLY do not give a sh*t abt me or my family so why bother with them?

They ended up not coming to some of my wedding events. They showed up to the ceremony but looked morbid the whole time as if they were doing me/us a favour. If they really were doing us a favour, they should’ve had the decency NOT to show up shamelessly.

Post # 14
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Sounds like borderline personality disorder. Sorry you’re dealing with this.

Post # 15
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow – sorry you have to put up with your Aunt. I would, for now anyway – ignore her when it comes to weddings, ask your mum to do the same thing too. She should eventually lose interest/know what she thinks doesn’t matter.

I think the more you indulge her by listening to her rubbish the more she will get worse! 🙁

Post # 16
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Just reading some your updates….if she does have a mental illness, traveling abroad might not be good for her – or anyone else. She really needs to get medicated if she is bipolar, or if if she is diagnosised with a personality disorder (which is not curable) then you need to make sure she is as far away from your wedding as possible. You do not need to convince her she is welcome to your wedding. At this point, her behavior proves she needs professional help. I hope you will support her in getting help, but you do not need to defend choices about your wedding to her. 

Good luck!

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