Post # 1
Has anyone seen the show Weeds? I had never seen it before. FI turned me onto it and I watched the entire series on Netflix in like a week I thought it was so funny. Turns out he did it to prepare me for the fact that his parents estate, the one we’re getting married at, is also a small marijuana farm.
Ive been there tons of times. We chose a cliffside meadow space on the property that looks right over the ocean, its beautiful. And behind it the meadow extends for a while and there are these small rolling hills. I’m terriably allergic to poison oak so i’ve never been near the edge of the medow where the little hills are but by the time fall rolls around it will all be dead and gone and the area will be walkable. It turns out that behind those little hills is another little meadow valley where FI’s mother (and low life husband) grows from what I could see about a dozen marijuana plans scattered around.
We’re planning on getting married on the edge of the cliff and then having our reception in a tent set up in the middle of the meadow. The problem I’m having is what if people wander over the property and see the plants?!
I guess they waited to tell me because it was important to FMIL that we get married there and she didn’t want me to get mad and say no. It turns out FMIL was basically the main character in Weeds; suburban mom pot dealer, just semi retired now (and no I had ZERO clue about any of this).
At the moment I’m less mad about the pot thing than wondering what the hell I’m going to do. I’ve already put down thousands in deposits and it means so much to FMIL that we get married here, and really the place is perfect except for this. But if any guests, especially anyone from my church, or god forbid my minister were to wander over the hill, I wouldn’t be able to show my face. I would just die.
FI says we should just fence/rope the hills off. But the medow is such a big space and I feel that might draw unwanted attention. FMIL says we could tell people there are livestock fenced over there and people should stay away. But I think that would attract more people (especially wandering kids) who might want to see the animals.
I don’t know what to do bees!
Post # 3
Tell people there’s poison oak or poison ivy? Don’t use the livestock excuse, I’d definitely be walking over to see the animals 🙂
Post # 4
If it’s so important to her that you get married there, would she consider removing the plants for your wedding? She could plant more after the wedding is over.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t worry about it, it’s not like people are going to walk around looking for pot.
Also, anyone who recognizes a marijuana plant is not going to be scandalized by it. My mom, for example, wouldn’t know a marijuana plant if it plopped itself down in her living room.
Post # 6
Could you tell people that the property line is up there so ask them to not wander too much?
Do you expect people to be wandering all over the place? I would think most people dressed up for a wedding might be too lazy to walk that far 😛
Post # 7
@BarelyBridal: First of all, I would take great offense to her lying blatantly in order to manipulate you into having the wedding on her property knowing that your decision might be different if you had known the truth.
She definitely should eb apologizing & groveling for that one..
I would probably tell people that poison ivy & poison oak is rampant over in that general area, & that should do the trick. However, if you still don’t feel right about it, maybe you should ask her to remove them for the wedding.
Geez, I’m pissed at her *for* you lol.
Post # 8
I would insist that she remove the plants for the wedding, if not than I would move the wedding and if she wanted to be invited she would pay me back all the deposits that I lost. I guess that sounds harsh but she intentionally mislead you about her property.
Is this legal in your area?
Post # 9
I agree with @jdhall89: , that anyone who could tell what they were looking at wouldn’t be too offended by it. Also, if people are dressed up, in their wedding get up and heels, I don’t know they would go that far out.
The idea of putting up some pretty border markers that go with your decor around the area that you would like to keep guests contained to seems like a pretty good idea. This doesn’t have to be fencing, but even just some floral arrangements, shepherds hooks with potted plants and ribbons or something along those lines. They could also be useful in keeping the party together and not so spread out that people start to go missing during the events of the day.
Post # 10
@BarelyBridal: It was totally unfair of her to essentially trap you into using that space when she knew there was a good chance you would have (very legimitate) concerns about it. That is seriously dishonest and just messed up. Since she has, completely over her own volition, put you in this awkward position, it is HER job, not yours, to fix it.
Hopefully for a wedding though, people wouldn’t be wandering too too far. Can you say poisonous snakes have been spotted there or something? Either way, you shouldn’t be having to lie to a whole crowd of people just because your fmil intentionally screwed you over.
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
@jdhall89: +1, to be honest I am 99% certain I wouldn’t recognize a marijuana plant in real life! I think fencing off the area (and hiring security!?) would just mar the scenery and make people curious; you would have to keep repeating excuses. I would just leave it be. If anyone comments on it, you can always just go “Really?! OMG I had no idea!”
Post # 12
I would make her get rid of them if it’s so important for her to have the wedding there
Post # 13
Lol, I smoke (haven’t today though) and I actually find this pretty funny. The first time I met my FMIL (a psychologist and former hippie) we smoked together and it was a great bonding experience. As a smoker, I wouldn’t be quite so scandalized, but I understand your concern for your conservative guests. How far would they have to wander to be able to see it nd assume it’s weed? But I agree that most people who would be offended wouldn’t recognize it. And I hope you don’t have any guests who find it and try to smoke it, you really shouldn’t smoke it fresh, it should be dried out first. I like the idea of warning people about poison oak though, and on a large bit of land I don’t think a fence would draw much attention if any. Maybe you could also pretend it’s someone else’s land and weed. You’ve already put money into this beautiful venue that has meaning to your FMIL and I imagine your FI, so I say go for it 🙂
Side note: I was on the set of Amazon’s show Betas the other day, and there were fake pot plants, and Ed Beglet Jr. thought that was hilarious 😛
Post # 14
Definitely don’t go with “animals,” because you’re right: kids will want to go see. I actually like your FI’s idea of a simple rope-fence. I know that as a guest I wouldn’t go past it, no questions asked.
Another question: Will your event be in the evening? I assume the ceremony will take place during daylight, but the reception will likely go after dark, right? I can’t imagine that folks will even be able to see the offending plants as the evening goes on.
In the end, will any of your guests actually be bothered to share the same property with some marijuana plants? I visited a friend of FI’s family in Spain and she had several of them growing by her pool in nice, decorative pots. We just ignored them and didn’t say anything to her or the authorities. It was pretty funny, given that they were displayed like one displays a palm tree or a fern. And, yes, I’m positive that they were marijuana plants.
Post # 15
@jdhall89: @BarelyBridal: Storytime!! A couple years ago, my grandmother was so excited because she’d planted a peach tree and couldn’t wait for it to grow fruit. She took really good care of it and was so happy that it was growing well. One day, a cousin who happens to be a police officer, dropped by to say hello. Before leaving, he took my grandfather aside and told him that Grandma had to get rid of her peach tree before he came over again otherwise he’d have to arrest her. Grandma’s peach tree was actually a marijuana plant. Needless to say, once she found out, it was gone very fast. She was so embarrassed having told everyone about her new tree.
OP, I think putting up some sort of barrier would be for the best, maybe put up a sign or something saying there’s poison oak or it’s the end of the property line, etc. Something to deter people from going past it.
Post # 16
@jdhall89: +1 – totally agree. I’d work on the theory that if someone is able to recognise it as pot, chances are they wouldn’t be offended.