(Closed) These are his texting habits, big deal or no?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1494 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
mehmeh2013 :  If you guys haven’t even met face to face and aren’t exclusive I don’t see how you’d be “settling” with him. I think you’re thinking too much into things, play the field see whats out there but don’t put all your eggs in one basket with a guy who lives far away and you haven’t had any physical contact with.

Post # 3
331 posts
Helper bee

Okay first of all…how old are you? Second, none of what you said would lead me to believe that he’s really that interested, just seems a bit blase to me. If it were me, I wouldn’t even bother with a long distance things, FAR more often than not they don’t work out and just leave one or both sides hurt. If you’re talking to few other guys why are you still looking? What ever happened to dating one person at a time? 

Post # 4
3607 posts
Sugar bee

I see texts sometimes and mentally file them away to respond to later. Sometimes I’m just really focused on something else in the moment, even though whatever I’m doing doesn’t technically fall under the heading of being “busy” (such as reading a book or watching a movie). My DH does that all the time too, except he sometimes forgets to respond to his friends altogether (men….. lol). I wouldn’t say this guy’s texting habits seem out of the ordinary or indicative of a lack of interest if taken on their own. I think you need to give him space — you haven’t even met in person yet.

Post # 5
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

At this point, I’d put this guy in the fun-to-talk-to category and leave him there until you start spending time in person. You’re not making a physical connection yet and he hasn’t come to see you, so enjoy texting and voice chatting with him but don’t put too much stock in the situation. If he doesn’t text, it’s no big deal.

Post # 8
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

Personally I hate constant texting, so if he’s not into it don’t take it personally.

And no, definitely don’t bring up that your ex and you used to text like crazy. Comparing someone unfavourably to an ex is a sure-fire passion killer. 

What does he mean by “I hope to never have to see you like that”? 

Given the distance plus the fact that you’re just getting to know him, you should continue dating others. If things go well and you develop a relationship, then you can discuss being exclusive. 

Please don’t use the frequency someone texts you as some kind of lithmus test for his interest in you. You seem to equate frequent texting with a guy being crazy about you and decreased texting as a sign of relationship breakdown, but there’s simply too many variables involved. I actually interact far less with my DH over social media than I used to- because now I see far more of him in person than in our early days of dating. Some people can’t text at all on the job, others seem glued to their phones. 

Post # 10
1252 posts
Bumble bee

I think you wrote a post about this before. Like I said before, you can’t tell if he likes you based of simple texting habits. Bottom line, if he he’s making time for you then I don’t see an issue. As for you, I think you’re taking things way too seriously right now. You just met him, online not in person so don’t put all you’re eggs in one basket. Also, you being annoyed he is on FB and not texting you back is a little crazy for someone who’s not dating him and haven’t met him in person. You’re expecting way too much out of this way too soon. (Not trying to be rude, just being honest.)

Post # 11
7810 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Frequent texting does not equal caring and is not indicative of a quality life partner. It’s more an indication of someone who doesn’t have much going on in his/her life. Do you work? Go to school? How are you able to text anyone all day long? 

You haven’t even met in person and aren’t in an exclusive relationship–take a step back and see where things lead. 

Post # 12
2619 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

You posted about this 2 days ago.  You got some really good advice then….

Post # 13
428 posts
Helper bee

To be honest you sound a little unhinged especially taking into your previous post!

It may be your age or lack of experience that is clouding your judgement but what you are experiencing with this guy is nothing more that a bit of fun/chat.

He clearly isn’t remotely interested in taking the next step ie meeting you in person – you really need to understand that and stop stressing over his ‘texting habit’ and whether you should ‘settle’.

You are not going to be marrying this man!

Post # 14
9940 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

This isn’t even really a real relationship yet.  It may never be at this rate, I would give it up.  Besides, when a man really wants you you won’t have any doubt about it.  If you have doubt he’s not the right man for you.  Keep looking.  Look closer to home is my advice, so you can interact with flesh and blood.  It’s a lot more fun.  I don’t blame him for not wanting to text all the time, it’s annoying as hell.  I will bite my tongue and not ask how old you are…

Post # 15
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Why did you make another thread?

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