(Closed) They’re bridesmaids, NOT slaves! (Verrrrry long)

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
23592 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@UpstateCait: So well thought out.  Thank you for sharing this – I consider myself to be sufficiently calm and collected with my bridesmaids, but I too have my moments.  It’s really helped me refocus on what’s really important. 🙂  

Side question: Any advice on what happens when the girls can’t get along with one another?  Mediating brings out a color in me that I don’t like.

I hope lots of other brides will capitalize off your post too, because it’s all very very true.

Post # 4
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@UpstateCait: Man, so true. Thank you for posting this!

Post # 5
Member
1759 posts
Buzzing bee

I am in the buy a dress and look pretty mindset! I think this is great advice for brides though. Thanks @CaitMarae. We can get so caught up that we think other people actually care about all the details we’re stressing about.

Post # 6
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

This should be stickied (is that a word?) to the bridesmaid board for all time.

Post # 7
Member
5836 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

The only thing that irritates me more than the bridesmaid threads are the bridal shower threads. It is not your business, you’re planning a freaking wedding why do you want to deal with managing every little detail of another party! If someone wants to throw you a shower and asks what you would like then by all means share your thoughts. Other than that STFU and be happy someone is throwing a party IN YOUR HONOR.

The only thing I have to add is please feed your bridesmaids the day of the wedding, you dont want them fainting while they walk down the aisle.

Post # 8
Member
6392 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I just wanted to add something :).

Day of: Please, please feed the girls if you expect them there at 9 a.m. for pictures and the reception isn’t until 5 p.m. Even though you might be a ball of nerves and not hungry, trust me, your bridesmaids are going be starving!

Also–I think there are some styles that will look good on everyone from a 2-22, it just typically has to be an A-line with a decent neckline and you have to choose carefully. I like everything to match, personally :).

 @LGenz: you beat me to it!

Post # 9
Member
4411 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

When I was planning my first wedding — which I cancelled because the guy was a jerk — I offered to pay half the cost of the dresses up to a certain amount for my bridesmaids if they wanted in lieu of a Bridesmaid or Best Man gift.  All of them took me up on it, because they were able to afford a more expensive dress that they liked better without it costing them a ton of money.  When I cancelled the wedding, I reimbursed each of the girls the deposit they had put down on the dresses and we cancelled the orders… I didn’t think it was right for them to lose their deposits when I was the one who made a dumb*ss choice of guys to marry!!! LOL

Post # 10
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@LGenz: The only thing I have to add is please feed your bridesmaids the day of the wedding, you dont want them fainting while they walk down the aisle.


Yes!  YOU may be “too anxious to eat,” but nobody else will be.  My worst experience as a bridesmaid included being a captive audience to a bride that “just didn’t think about” working lunch into the day.

ETA jo.lee beat me to it!

Post # 12
Member
2443 posts
Buzzing bee

This is awesome! I agree with everything you wrote!

Post # 13
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

If you require professional hair or makeup, you pay for it.

Post # 15
Member
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Bravo! When I asked my girls, I sent them a sweet note. They were my vows.

I wrote them on notecards and sent them to them: 

  • I promise to try not be a bridezilla. If I become one, please smack me.
  • I promise I will not make you wear dresses you won’t be comfortable in.
  • I promise not to talk your ear off about wedding planning every time we get together.
  • I promise that I won’t throw a fit if you don’t want to come over and help with a project.
  • I promise I will not make you go on crazy diets or order dresses a size smaller on purpose.
  • I promise that I won’t call you at 3am crying about a wedding detail gone wrong.
  • Oh yes, and I promise no butt bows or poofy sleeves!

    They all loved it.

Post # 16
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Amen sister!

I’m doing every single one of the things on your list and I can’t agree enough!

I don’t have much to add because I have been blessed with an amazing group of girl friends who WANT to take me to Vegas and WANT to hear every. stinking. detail. about my wedding. I have to keep them in check sometimes haha. I’m thinking about paying for half of their dresses and for their hair (in addition to their Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts) simply because they have been so fabulous!!

It makes me sad to read some of the posts on here and reading about what some of these brides do to their best friends.

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