Post # 139
Member2699 posts
Sugar bee
- ticatica
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Just taken the time to read this thread. It’s a great list of advice…i could do with remembering not to talk constantly about my wedding actually 
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MemberPost # 140
Member10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
- UpstateCait
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I’m surprised that this thread is still being bumped after almost a year, though I’m definitely not complaining. I’m happy that there are like minded brides out there who haven’t boarded the crazy train. 🙂
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Post # 141
Member10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
- UpstateCait
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
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Post # 142
Member2081 posts
Buzzing bee
- Button
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 1993
I’m bumping this today after seeing some posters who may like to read it!
Post # 143
Member2362 posts
Buzzing bee
- Sunnyday278
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I have read a couple posts over the past two days where I wholeheartedly disagree with how some brides see their girls! I love this post. I love my girls. I only have one “local” girl, the others are 2-3 hours away. I asked them because they mean the most to me in different ways. I told them that I pledged to love them, respect them, have them be happy and comfortable, and cherish that they can stand up there with me! Phew that felt good to say 🙂 Hooray for our wonderful “bridesfriends”!!!
Post # 144
Member6 posts
Newbee
Post # 145
Member8 posts
Newbee
- ChrissieW1980
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I must say I agree with not treating your bridesmaids as slaves, but I do believe they should be there to support the bride and be on hand for opinions and just a general chit chat! I do not believe they are there to mearly “look pretty” on the day…….
My bridesmaids are a nightmare, I have paid for all the dresses, accessories, so earrings and a lovely bracelet both pearl, I have bought them beautiful gifts for the day and all I asked was they get thier own shoes as the money is running out!! I was told by one bridesmaid I should not have had such an expensive wedding if I couldnt get her shoes…… I was also asked “what have I done for them?” I am the bride and don’t feel I should be bending over backwards for the BM’s…… I do feel that some girls just expect to be BM’s and don’t really see it as an honour but just treat it as a free ride! I was also told that she won’t be getting me anything for the wedding as she cant afford it…… Felt pretty deflated tbh as I didn’t expect but to be told outright after just spending a fortune was pretty much a kick in the teeth!
Although the OP is right about not expecting to much, it’s not fair to treat the bride like something you stepped in and continually argue with her about choices she has made if you are getting everything, yes including shoes now, for free!!
Post # 146
Member10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
- UpstateCait
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
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I guess my OP wasn’t clear but of course I believe that the bridesmaids should be available for emotional support. In most cases, these girls are your sisters or closest friends so just like any other topic that you’d discuss, your wedding should be an open book. If you want to talk about bridesmaids dresses or floral arrangements then by all means, knock yourself out. Just don’t expect them to be as interested as you are because they won’t be.
I guess I was spoiled in that my bridesmaids were really great. I mean, they literally blew me away with the effort that they put into our wedding and 90% of it was completely on their own. Honestly, all that I asked from my girls was to buy a dress, find shoes & accessories that would work and show up but they did much more than that. Sometimes you luck out and get kickass bridesmaids like I did but other times they fall short. As long as those who “leave something to be desired” manage to pull off the bare minimums (which in my opinion is to buy the dress, show up and look pretty), that’s really all you can ask of them. No matter how hard you try or how much you want it, some people are just not into weddings and they shouldn’t be faulted because of it.
Post # 147
Member128 posts
Blushing bee
Post # 148
Member26 posts
Newbee
Post # 149
Member31 posts
Newbee
- Rhodewl
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Very Well said! From a bride who is going through a rough patch with her maids, this is nice! I totoally agree that you want them to stand there and look pretty! If they want to help more, great, let them help! Now if I could only get them to get their dresses and shoes in time to stand there and look pretty! :o)
Post # 150
Member5 posts
Newbee
Post # 151
Member2522 posts
Sugar bee
- Torrid
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve been on the Bee! I’m currently a bridesmaid right now, and it’s been breaking my bank, for sure. As a full-time student (graduating this December, woo!) working part time, it’s definitely difficult for me and the rest of the bridesmaids to keep up with the demands of our bride.
2 bridals showers, a dress, shoes, professionally done hair, an out-of-town bacheorette party where we are expected to pay for all of the bride’s food, drinks, and accomodations (as well as purchase snacks for her because she “needs” to eat every 2 hours)….it’s tapping me out and making me frustrated because it’s expected of us bridesmaids to do all this stuff, especially by the bride’s mother.
She’s my friend, but I’m beginning to resent this wedding. Luckily she gets married in a few weeks. I’m not sure how much more money and patience I have. 🙁
Post # 152
Member2779 posts
Sugar bee
- drummerbride
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I agree with everything you said…except where you think bridesmaids should onyl have to show up and look pretty. Bridesmaids have the role of support to the bride, along with family. Most girls have an inkling about what they are agreeing to in the first place, which is buy a dress the bride picks, plan the shower and bachelorette party, and also, yes help with other details and projects. I’m not saying that the bride has a right to yell, scream, make demands, or be all out rude…this is not the case. But agreeing to be a bridesmaid means you help the bride with the wedding preparations, as needed, if that means craft projects to make centre pieces or favors so be it, it is upto the group (bride as well) to make it a fun and pleasant time, the bride should also provide snacks and beverages to all helpers.
If your brides maids are true friends they will be genuinely happy for you and excited about helping. I was a bridemaid for my friend for a total DIY backyard wedding, I helped her plant flowers, make favours and make decorations. The Maid/Matron of Honor also helped with all that. Between the 2 of us we planned the shower and bachelorette party, the other bridesmaid didn’t help with anything, she didn’t even bring anything, heck she didn’t even wear the color shoes the bride requested…Both me and the Maid/Matron of Honor were very annoyed with her for it, the bride was very considerate in everything and didn’t force us to do anything in particular. The favours we did was homemade chocolates and candies, all took tons of work, but we had fun doing it.
Post # 153
Member3 posts
Wannabee
The topic ‘They’re bridesmaids, NOT slaves! (Verrrrry long)’ is closed to new replies.