(Closed) They celebrated her engagement without me… LONG

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

@krayzay87:  I’m sorry that this is how it has turned out 🙁 At least this way they can be catty to each other and you can be blissfully ignorant of their drama!

Post # 18
Member
9759 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@krayzay87:  Good for you 🙂 You are much better off just sticking with friends who are good friends back!

ETA: If it were me (I can be slightly passive aggressive at times), I would have posted a comment on the photo saying ‘I’m sorry I didn’t know about it beforehand, would have loved to celebrate with you!’

Post # 19
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

@krayzay87:  Good for you! Well done for standing up for yourself and not letting them walk all over you 🙂

Post # 20
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@krayzay87:  has there been any response from them once you deleted them? I think you did the right thing. Either they will wake up and realize what they did was hurtful or if they don’t you did the right thing for yourself

Post # 21
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

One of the best decisions I made in my life was to rid myself of all the one-sided friendships I had. I was always feeling drained, taken advantage, left out, and the first person they called only when they needed something.

It’s ok to be sad and morn the loss of a friendship but you really are better off. If I were in your situation I would just unfriend them on FB and delete their numbers from your phone. That way they wont pop up and bring back negative feelings. No need to tell them of your plan just disappear. If they care they will come find you and put effort into the friendship.

Post # 22
Member
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Yup I’d be pissed. They’ve obviously decided that their “core” group of friends doesn’t include you. I’d move on and find friends who do.

Post # 23
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@krayzay87:  Sorry about your “friends,” I get sensitive about being excluded too.  This wasn’t a random night at the bar, this was an engagement celebration and they should have invited you.  I think there’s something else going on in light of the fact that there have been similar incidents.  I don’t live in the city like most of my group of friends so sometimes I find out that they got together without me.  But I’m almost always included on the weekend plans.  Life is too short to spend time and effort on people who don’t reciprocate.  It hurts now but think of how you can use your time to make new friends who will always invite you and appreciate you!

Post # 24
Member
31 posts
Newbee

For me it sounds like high school drama. I would just invite them and explain how i feel..like adults. Then everybody can say how they feel and they can explain and apolegize. If you don’t feel to continue your friendship atleast you could end it thogether..not like this. If you have been friends for so long you should be able to talk about it and vent your feelings. Not just delete each other like nothing. Sorry..but I think this solves nothing. I hope everything will be allright in the end..one way or the other.

Post # 25
Member
3194 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

this happened to me when i graduated from college, unfortunately. there was a group of 5-6 of us girls who were close and had been close all four years. i was a bit of the ‘black sheep’ of the group, if you will, because i am more of a studious homebody and the other girls are all in sororities and partied all the time. but, we made it a point to get together for dinner and drinks every few weeks, and we were a unit.

about a week before graduation, one of them posted a bunch of pictures on Facebook of all of them in their caps and gowns around campus. no one ever mentioned anything to me. i was so hurt, i texted one of the girls and asked why i wasn’t invited. she blamed it on another girl saying she planned it, who then blamed it on another, then on another, ad nauseum.

sorry you’re going through this, i’d just let it roll and see what they do. these may not be friends worth keeping, and that’s just how it is.

Post # 26
Member
2377 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@krayzay87:  good on you for cutting. u dont deserve to be treated like that, from so called friends!! thats bull shit. true friends dont do that. good on you. focus on your real friends xxx

Post # 27
Member
1845 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This really sounds like a lot of high school drama. I think you are WAY over reacting here. E didn’t invite any of the other girls in your group out, she just invited S and T, so what? Everytime she goes out she has to invite every single member of the group? Why are you taking it so personal? Are any of the other girls in the group as mad as you?

Post # 28
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

See now, this is why I only have a few people who I F with like that. Most other people do infantile crap like this that makes me evade them.

If you feel it is right, stick with it.

Post # 29
Member
41 posts
Newbee

I used to have “friends” that did this kind of stuff to me.  Once I started to stand up for myself and stopped worrying about being left out, I felt great!  I started getting friends that actually were friends and I realized how nice it was to have reciprocal friendships.  It’s hard at first, but in the long run you’ll really enjoy life much more.

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