(Closed) They Changed their minds…$$$

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

You should pay for hair and makeup for your Bm’s if you want it professionally done.  They are going to be in YOUR pictures. Sure they wnat to look nice but its just another party for them.

Telling someone its “really expensive” and “its going to be X dollars” are two different things. It sounds like it would be best to stick with your contract, or possibly ask your mom and MOG if they want their makeu done, and tell them the fees.

Post # 4
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Captain013: agree.

Everything I’ve read and heard says that if the bride wants the hair/makeup done, the bride is supposed to pay for it.  (one reason why I’m telling my girls they can do what they want with hair/makeup…. despite one Bridesmaid or Best Man trying to bully/push/coerse me into paying for them to have it done.  Uh, no, dearie. If you want it done, then YOU pay for it.)

It sounds like your girls thought YOU were going to pay for it and they just agreed to having it done.  At least, that’s what I’m reading from it.

Post # 6
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Some of my girls ran into financial difficulties close to the day after I had signed a contract etc. We just did a pay what you can deal and I covered the rest. I wanted everyone to look great and it wasn’t worth the stress or putting strain on a friendship.

Post # 7
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I disagree with PPs. If the bride forces hair and makeup on BMs, then yeah she should pay for it. You gave them the option, so they could have just declined up front if they didn’t want to spend the money. I have never heard that the bride has to pay for this, and the two times I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I was expected to pay for my own. I totally get your frustration because they should have just declined in the first place. Now you’re out the money and everyone is annoyed. At this point, there’s really nothing you can do except pay for it because of your contract.

Post # 8
Member
14658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

There’s really not much that can be done if bm’s wont pay for it and you have a signed contract.  Really sucks that they would do this.  Is this all by word of mouth or do you have their text or emails where they said they’d do it that you can bring up?

Post # 9
Member
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Can you use that hair to get your mum’s hair done? Or aunt or grandmother etc? Then perhaps split the cost with them? That way it won’t go to waste. 

It sucks that they backed out on you like that, but you can’t force them to pay.

Post # 11
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MrsPinkPeony: you didn’t say in the original post that you TOLD THEM they would be paying.  the whole “it’s expensive are you sure?” could be taken as “oh, the bride is paying and I just have to show up”.  Yes, people do think that (I know plenty who would see it that way).

Since you told them straight out that they’d be paying, then they should have either said “no” straight out or made certain they’d have the money and not left you in a lurch.

Other than that, since you signed the contract, unless you have a way out, you’re kinda stuck paying either way.  

sorry you’ve gotta go through this and I hope it works out for you.

Post # 12
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Did you tell them how much it was going to cost upfront?

Post # 14
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@june42011: Try to find different ladies that would like to get it done. If not I would weigh the cost of the service, to how much it is to cancel. If you cannot find anyone it may be cheaper for you to do just that(if you are seriously strapped for cash). I would consider forking over the cash and chosing a hideous hairstytle 😉

Seriously do not let this get in-between you and your BM’s so close to the day, I know its 200$ but in the grand scheme of this wedding 200$ is likely “a drop in the bucket”. Miscommunication happens all the time. It sounds like there’s is a possibility that they didn’t fully understand the cost, or they would have to pay it. 

Post # 15
Member
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@MrsPinkPeony: FI’s mum? A cousin, a brother’s girlfriend?… OR, did you try asking if you could split the cost with the BMs? Is it the cost they don’t like or the hair in general? If you are going to be out of the money anyway you may as well try and make the most of it.  

Post # 16
Member
9 posts
Newbee

there isnt too much you can do. One, you probably dont want to have an arguement… and two water of a ducks back.. even if they are wrong…

I feel for you! 🙁

But I th nk your idea with an aunt or something sounds great. Mother or mother in law?

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