(Closed) They don’t match!

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Lots and lots and LOTS of couples have non-matching bands. If FI’s mother suggested he wear his late father’s ring, we would go that path in a heartbeat!

What does he say about it? If he’s for the idea, I think it’s an amazing way to pay homage to his DAD – I feel almost teary thinking of him declining it just so you can match. 

Also, you can have the diamond popped out and have it dipped to be white gold (white gold is just a mix of yellow gold and other metals, rhodium is one, I think).

To me, matching bands say "purchased in a set" and I think more grooms and brides choose rings that fit THEIR personality, not something that sort-of works for both.  

Sorry if that sounds harsh, my sentimental heart just thinks of how much it would mean to my Fiance to have that piece of his dad so close to him every day – after years and years without him.  

Post # 4
18 posts

My husband and I have wedding bands that don’t match. When were in the jewelry store I hesitated at first when he started trying on yellow gold bands (I had picked out a platinum eternity band with diamonds). But then he looked at me and said "I want this plain yellow gold band. Every older man I know that has been happily married for years and years has a band like this. I don’t want any of this trendy stuff." How could I say no? We ordered the band on the spot and now whenever I look at it I think of his sweet thinking behind the choice, which means a lot more to me than a matching set.

Post # 5
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

My guy and I don’t have matching bands either. He has a dark metal and mine is platinum. I hadn’t ever considered getting matching ones but it doesn’t bother me.

Post # 6
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

It doesn’t matter at all if your wedding bands do not match. The most important thing is that each of you should get something that you love and will be happy to wear for a long, long time. So if your Fiance truly wants to wear his dad’s ring, he should wear it. But is it your fiance who wants to wear it or his mother? Also, it sounds like his father’s ring has diamonds in it—that will match yours, just like you wanted!

Post # 7
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

you could always get some engraving to make them a set…my Fiance and I will have different metals, but we are thinking of having a quote that starts in his & ends in my ring.  <goofy grin>

Post # 9
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think the fact that your FI’s mother wants him to wear his father’s ring is very sentimental and quite touching! As everyone said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with non-matching rings. It seems like couples are doing whatever they want these days in terms of rings. I just picked out my wedding ring this past weekend. I was determined to pick a band that matched perfectly with my e-ring. Guess what? I ended up picking a ring that I will wear all by itself…it doesn’t match with my e-ring AT ALL!   My point is that you should do what you want and what feels right to you and your Fiance. Keep an open mind with it, and I’m sure you guys will figure out exactly what you want. Best of luck!!

Post # 10
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Our wedding bands won’t match – I’m a white gold kinda girl too, so my e-ring and wedding band will both be white gold.  My Fiance is more olive complected that I am (I’m more in the "casper the friendly ghost" range) so yellow gold suits his skin tone better.  Also, we’re planning on having some jewelry melted down (it’ll actually end up being "exchanged" for new gold).  The jewelry was left to him when his uncle "Jaky", who he was named for, died when he was young.  I think it’s an awesome way to pay homage to a dearly beloved relative who won’t be with us on our wedding day, especially since the jewelry isn’t anything he’d ever realistically wear.  

Post # 11
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Our wedding bands won’t match. Mine is a white gold diamond anniversary band, and his is a yellow-and-white gold layered plain band that his father gave him a decade ago. It has a great deal of sentimental value to him, and that was far more important than us matching  

Post # 12
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I work in the wedding industry, and I have to tell you that more often than not, they don’t match. Our don’t match at all. I never considered that it might be an issue, actually!

If your husband wants to wear his father’s ring, I think that’s great. It’s a nice way to honor him…and the marriage that brought him into this world to marry you!

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