Post # 1
So, we’ve started to do some thinking and shopping–ok, so he’s just been thinking and I’ve been shopping–for our wedding bands, and I have a dilema.
Originally, we planned to go matching white gold to go with my engagement ring. I wanted some diamonds in the band while Fiance wanted something a little more plain. OK by me, as long as it was white gold to have some similar characteristic to mine.
Then his mother springs the idea of him using his late father’s wedding band– yellow gold with the diamond from his mother’s engagement ring in it.
I hate yellow gold but I understand the sentimental value in it. And as soon as she mentioned it, the idea of our matching bands seemed to fly out the window.
What does the hive think about non-matching wedding bands? It makes me kind of sad… I like the idea of something matching to show unity in our marriage. Thoughts?
Post # 3
Lots and lots and LOTS of couples have non-matching bands. If FI’s mother suggested he wear his late father’s ring, we would go that path in a heartbeat!
What does he say about it? If he’s for the idea, I think it’s an amazing way to pay homage to his DAD – I feel almost teary thinking of him declining it just so you can match.
Also, you can have the diamond popped out and have it dipped to be white gold (white gold is just a mix of yellow gold and other metals, rhodium is one, I think).
To me, matching bands say "purchased in a set" and I think more grooms and brides choose rings that fit THEIR personality, not something that sort-of works for both.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, my sentimental heart just thinks of how much it would mean to my Fiance to have that piece of his dad so close to him every day – after years and years without him.
Post # 4
My husband and I have wedding bands that don’t match. When were in the jewelry store I hesitated at first when he started trying on yellow gold bands (I had picked out a platinum eternity band with diamonds). But then he looked at me and said "I want this plain yellow gold band. Every older man I know that has been happily married for years and years has a band like this. I don’t want any of this trendy stuff." How could I say no? We ordered the band on the spot and now whenever I look at it I think of his sweet thinking behind the choice, which means a lot more to me than a matching set.
Post # 5
My guy and I don’t have matching bands either. He has a dark metal and mine is platinum. I hadn’t ever considered getting matching ones but it doesn’t bother me.
Post # 6
It doesn’t matter at all if your wedding bands do not match. The most important thing is that each of you should get something that you love and will be happy to wear for a long, long time. So if your Fiance truly wants to wear his dad’s ring, he should wear it. But is it your fiance who wants to wear it or his mother? Also, it sounds like his father’s ring has diamonds in it—that will match yours, just like you wanted!
Post # 7
you could always get some engraving to make them a set…my Fiance and I will have different metals, but we are thinking of having a quote that starts in his & ends in my ring. <goofy grin>
Post # 8
Fiance isn’t sure what he wants now. He WANTED white gold at first before his mother mentioned the ring. I don’t think he ever even heard the idea from his mother until that moment.
I guess we’ll just have to see. If he wants his dad’s ring, I would never tell him that he shouldn’t wear it.
I guess I just wanted to know if the non-matching rings wasn’t something unheard of. I like the idea of an engraving or something to make the set "our own."
Thanks for the input ladies! Maybe Fiance will make up his mind after getting a better look at all of his options.
Post # 9
I think the fact that your FI’s mother wants him to wear his father’s ring is very sentimental and quite touching! As everyone said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with non-matching rings. It seems like couples are doing whatever they want these days in terms of rings. I just picked out my wedding ring this past weekend. I was determined to pick a band that matched perfectly with my e-ring. Guess what? I ended up picking a ring that I will wear all by itself…it doesn’t match with my e-ring AT ALL! My point is that you should do what you want and what feels right to you and your Fiance. Keep an open mind with it, and I’m sure you guys will figure out exactly what you want. Best of luck!!
Post # 10
Our wedding bands won’t match – I’m a white gold kinda girl too, so my e-ring and wedding band will both be white gold. My Fiance is more olive complected that I am (I’m more in the "casper the friendly ghost" range) so yellow gold suits his skin tone better. Also, we’re planning on having some jewelry melted down (it’ll actually end up being "exchanged" for new gold). The jewelry was left to him when his uncle "Jaky", who he was named for, died when he was young. I think it’s an awesome way to pay homage to a dearly beloved relative who won’t be with us on our wedding day, especially since the jewelry isn’t anything he’d ever realistically wear.
Post # 11
Our wedding bands won’t match. Mine is a white gold diamond anniversary band, and his is a yellow-and-white gold layered plain band that his father gave him a decade ago. It has a great deal of sentimental value to him, and that was far more important than us matching
Post # 12
I work in the wedding industry, and I have to tell you that more often than not, they don’t match. Our don’t match at all. I never considered that it might be an issue, actually!
If your husband wants to wear his father’s ring, I think that’s great. It’s a nice way to honor him…and the marriage that brought him into this world to marry you!