(Closed) They registered for WHAAAAT?! (Registry etiquette question!)

posted 10 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 77
Member
71 posts
Worker bee

Very traditionally-minded MOB here, and I live where people generally don’t spend over $50 on a gift.  I love seeing DVDs on a registry, cause it’s fun to put together a date night basket with a couple of favorites and some treats, either for shower or wedding.  To others, especialy in the East, cash or a big ticket item is  more expected.  Where I have a problem (and it’s no one’s problem but mine) is with honeymoon registries or any other cash request.  If I want to pay for a fun vacation experience, I’ll enjoy it myself.   

Post # 78
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Just a little note from another way of thinking:

We’ve found that many of our guests would RATHER buy us “fun” stuff than the expected house stuff, but we really NEED the house stuff. So, we’ve had to stay away from registering for fun stuff because we’re afraid we won’t get the things we actually need. Thus, our registry is kinda boring.

In fact, my grandfather’s wife – the person at our wedding who I would most expect to be traditional about registries – was disappointed that I wasn’t registered for any lingerie. She ended up getting us our informal china from the registry, but really wanted to buy us something more “fun”. Her response was really the total opposite of what you’re afraid of in your situation – so, I say, register for what you want, and don’t worry about what people will think.

Post # 79
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

We registered at Amazon for movies and a PS3. Why not?

Post # 80
Member
2560 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I really wouldn’t raise an eyebrow to any registry items (well – maybe if your registry had condoms, and lube on there I might have a giggle – but you better believe I would be the one making a big ‘ole basket of condoms, lube etc … wrapped in clear cellophane and left openly on the gift table :oP)

Post # 81
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

For our engagement my FI’s parents wanted to buy something we could use right away since we are living with my grandparents to they bought us a PS3. Honestly at first I was like WHAT!! but we have as a couple been able to use it more then I thought. So after that we added movies and games and even a nail gun to our Target resistry. I think we will get as more use at of the nail gun then if we got a waffle maker! I mean those Christmas light do not majically attach to the house!!!

Post # 82
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

I like the list. AT least it’s somethings he will use and you will use. Why not.?

Post # 83
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

LOL @ Ms Mini!!!  Too bad I’m already married, or I would have loved to put THAT one our registry!!!  (Kidding, of course…I would be too embarassed for my family memebers to see that on there!)

We registered for a Wii and a Wii fit, as well as a digital camera for the honeymoon.  We had a wide variety of “Traditonal” and “Non-traditional” registry items at a variety of price points.  For us, our feeling was, “We don’t EXPECT anyone to actually get us a KitchenAid stand mixer, but it would be AWESOME if they did.”  We figured that MAYBE a couple people would go in on it together, or go in on getting us the Wii, or another of our other “dream” items.  I was actually surprsed that we got some of our “dream” items instead of some of the more common registry items.

So register for whatever you want, as long as it isn’t going to give Grandma a heart attack to see it on there, (like condoms and lube!).  If people don’t like it, they can buy you something else, or give you cash or a giftcard instead.

Post # 84
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I’ve bought a lot of wedding gifts in the past 10 years or so…I would guess that I’ve been to 3 or 4 weddings a year and some years it has been even more… so it’s somewhere between 60 and 80 gifts including shower presents.  So I think I’ve seen my share of registries.  I have been to registries at Target, Macy’s, Nordstroms, Dillards, and lots of local department stores and gift shops as well.  (To be honest, I have friends who have registered at Wal-mart, but I have never bothered to look at those registries… because I’m not going to purchase something that will wear out in three years, and I’d rather buy something that will last. And I don’t want to get them a basic item that if I were not to buy it they would… I’d rather get them something that they will need or like but may not have the money to buy. )  I thought the comment about the traditional registry that was meant to set up a household was interesting.  Most of the weddings, I have attended were traditional registries that began a household.  If I bought something on the registry, I chose something I liked that I believed they would enjoy for a lifetime… a part of their china, a tray, a crystal bowl, or candlesticks.  If I decided to not use the registry, it might have been because the registry was limited or I wanted to give them a unique gift that I absolutely knew they would love but wouldn’t be able to register for…(one example, a friend loved my April Cornell table linens, but didn’t live near a store…   so that was my gift to her.) and once I got the most exquisite antique linen table cloth for a dear friend who I knew would appreciate it.  Sometimes, I might upgrade a registry choice… so for example they asked for the Sunbeam blender at Target… and I got them the Kitchen-Aid version at Macy’s… I figured that it would be a good surprise!  (I’ve noticed that some younger brides will register for a lot of inexpensive appliances at Target which aren’t considered a high quality… and I’d like to give them something that might last 25 or 45 years instead of 5 years. 

While I wouldn’t be apt to buy someone a Wii or a DVD, I’m sure that some people would rather buy that than a crystal bowl or a set of china.  I notice a lot of people thinking that china and crystal is too fragile to use and live with…  I’d like to challenge that kind of thinking.  My great-grandparents got married in about 1905, I have several pieces of crystal that were originally hers…  Another set of great grands married in 1910, and their Autumn leaf wedding china is an extra special remembrance of their October wedding.  We use for Thanksgiving and display it annually throughout October and November.  (It’s not dishwasher safe or we might decide to use it more.)  They are a durable useful objects.   

Post # 85
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I personally don’t think it’s a big deal because he may be doing it so that you get the 10% or 15% (or whatever Target does – we aren’t registered there so I don’t know) off when the guests don’t buy it for you.  If that’s the case and you’re worried about what your guests will think, I would take them off and have him add them back a few days before the wedding so you still get the discount but your guests won’t see them. =)

Post # 86
Member
332 posts
Helper bee

I say let him register for whatever. If people don’t want to buy that type of stuff then they wont. I don’t think its a big deal. I can deff see a camera on a registry to document your lives together. 

Post # 87
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

my Fiance pointed out to me that registering for items like DVD’s will give your younger guests (think kids/teens) the opportunity to buy you something that they willl feel proud to give to you, AND its in their price range!!! i think thats cool.

PS are we marrying the same man, my Fiance wants to put binoculars on our registry too?!?!?!? ahahhaha

Post # 88
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2010

All the wedding gifts that you recieve are for the ladies.  Why shouldn’t the guys get to have some fun.  Allow them to pick out a few things that they would enjoy to have.  It makes it exciting for them and not so left out of the loop.

Also I registered for a Wii.  I put it on there and my FH was like I am marrying the best girl around.  In my opinon it is no different from a board game or card games.  There are going to be times when you are entertaining and it would be a great entertainment game!  Also you and the hubby have got to do something fun other than sit around every night and watch TV.  Why not through a little compitition into the mix and say whoever wins the game of Wii Mario Kart does the dishes?!?  🙂 

Post # 89
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve always thought of registries like Mrs.Louboutin- that they are for building a home together. Yes, I know I will someday be receiving my parents china (and the many sets of grandparents and great-grandparents china that they have) but I have always wanted my own to start my new life/family with. That’s just me.

But modern registries are all over the place so if it’s what the couples wants, go ahead and put it on the list. Every couple is unique. As long as they don’t just ask for “cash”…that offends me.

Post # 90
Member
961 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My FH is the one who doesnt want to register for non-house things…  like camping gear.  I’m a huge camper/outdoorsy type, he not so much, and i wanted to register for new gear.  he was/is against it, but has let me register for a new tent, at least.  as far as video games…  his friend said last week that he was going to buy us a PS3, i was so annoyed.  i feel like our registry (and wedding gifts) should be something we will both use and a PS3 is not something i will use, ever.  but then i realized that our rice cooker and magic bullet, let alone the tent, aren’t things that he’s going to get much use out of either.  so i’ve since let it go.  =D

Post # 91
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

We registered for DVD boxed sets and a PS3 – and we’ve already gotten a bunch of them! FI’s coworkers chipped in to get him the PS3 which will totally make his day when he finds out. Why not get stuff you actually want?

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