Post # 1
Ever feel the need to just write? Get lots of stuff out? Well last night on my way home from pre-holiday drinks with my sister I was attacked and held at knife point. They took my watch, my bag and my engagement ring. They assaulted me. I have slash marks on my neck and my breasts. I feel so horrible and wrong right now there aren’t even words.
I’ve spent the day with the police going through everything in detail. I live in a small town. This kind of thing NEVER happens here. They had to draft in some police from a larger town to help. They think they may have CCTV of the men (there were 2 of them) but are coming tomorrow to go through that with me and compile one of those evo-fit things.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I don’t want all of those amazing words like be strong and be glad you’re okay. I am not okay. I thought they were going to rape me. I don’t think I will ever be okay again. I’m trying not to be over dramatic because I know there are people out there that have had much worse things happen to them but I am so sad. I feel so guilty because all of these amazing people have been helping me, trying to find these men and to stop them but I don’t feel like I deserve that. Like I’m making a big fuss about nothing. Is that stupid? I keep crying, all day, crying, all last night, crying. My body is exhausted but my brain won’t shut up. I keep jumping everytime there’s a slight noise. I feel so sick and so dead inside.
Like I said, I don’t know why I’m writing this. Need to vent sometimes I guess and you guys are always so good.
I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know what to do about my ring. Do I replace it? Do I wait for the police to try and find it? My hand feels wrong and empty, just like me.
Post # 3
Oh wow. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t really have much to say. Lean on your family and friends for support. Let the police help you. They care. I promise.
Post # 4
That sounds really traumatic. I think you should go talk to a counselor, they should be able to help you figure out the answers to the questions at the end of your post.
Post # 5
I wish I could say something comforting, but this really is something that will require time and (perhaps) therapy to overcome.
It sucks, plain and simple. You’re lucky to have survived, and that is true. Of course myself and all the other Bees are happy that you made it out alive!
Was your ring insured?
You’re in my thoughts. I’m sorry that you had to experience this.
Post # 6
holy shit (excuse the language), that must have been incredibly terrifying. I hope they do catch those sons of bitches. I guess the good news is in a small town I would think it’s harder to get away with things like that. Here’s hoping, anyways.
I hope you aren’t feeling guilty about feeling terrible. You have every right to feel that way, you just went through something traumatic! Thank goodness you walked away alive, and that you didn’t get raped, but that doesn’t take away from that fact that what you experienced is life altering. If you don’t end up feeling better after letting some time pass, you definitely should seek some counselling. It’s mean to help people in situations just like yours.
As for the ring, that’s a toughie – you could wait a a little maybe? knowing the police are working on it.. but if they don’t come up with results soon, it might be worth replacing – but perhaps whatever you get you can talk about a return policy, in case you get your original back…
Good luck, and I really hope that justice will be served.
Post # 7
@Eckle: That’s the plan for tomorrow morning. Going to the Dr’s to see where they can refer me. The police said it’s often best through the Drs but there are people they can send me to if needs be.
@the_future_mrs: Yeah it was insured which is good I guess. It just feels like anything on that finger will remind me of last night.
@mepayne: Thank you. My family and friends have been fantastic. I don’t deserve them.
You guys are all great. Thank you. I guess I just feel stupid about it all, like, why couldn’t I stop them? Everyone is making suck a fuss over me and I don’t deserve it. I’m not sure if it’s my mind being silly but I feel so guilty. Is that normal?
Post # 8
I’m so sorry this happened to you. And you’re definitely not making a big deal out of nothing. This was an awful thing to have happen and you totally deserve the help and support you’re getting. I hope those awful men are caught and justice is served for you. Sending positive vibes your way *hugs*
Post # 9
I’m so sorry you had to go through this, it must have been absolutely terrifying. Please don’t think that just because there are “people going through worse” in the world that you do not have the right to feel the way that you do. I think that anyone would in your position, I know that I would. I really don’t have any advice other than to make sure you talk to a therapist about this to help you get through it! Again, I am so, so sorry. I know you will get through this.
Post # 10
@kaetia: I am so very sorry for what you went through. What a horrible and terrifying ordeal.
All of the cliche sayings won’t make you feel better but people say them because they do care and want to help you but don’t know the right thing to say.
You went through a very real and traumatizing ordeal so allow yourself to feel whatever it is you need to feel and let it out. Cry all you want, scream, whatever.. don’t bottle it up. I think you should talk to a therapist about what you went through so they can help you to handle all of the very normal feelings that you are experiencing. You may have PTSD but with time and therapy if needed, it will get better.
I was attacked about 6-7 months ago and while not exactly the same situation, I felt much of what you have described. I just want you to know that what you’re feeling is normal and that it will get better. Be gentle with yourself and do everything you can to allow yourself to heal in whatever way you require.
If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me.
Post # 11
@carnivaltheme: Thank you. The ring advice is really solid. I called the insurance tonight but I was in such a state they said I could call back with all the details tomorrow. Hopefully I will have calmed down by then.
I want them to find them so no one else gets hurt or worse.
Post # 12
I am so glad that you’re going to see a counselor. Everything you’re feeling sounds normal after a traumatic event, and a good mental health professional should be able to help you start to work through some of this. Don’t blame yourself either for what happened or for how you feel now — and you DO deserve support from your family and friends. I’m so sorry that this happened to you.
Post # 13
I don’t really know what to say except that I am so sorry that this happened to you. And I really, really hope that they find those creeps and get you your ring back (and stick those guys in jail where they belong!).
Post # 14
I am so, so sorry this happened to you! How incredibly awful. I do want to assure you that everything you are feeling is NORMAL considering what happened. Other people who experienced similar assaults feel the same way. What you are experiencing is post traumatic stress. Be kind to yourself. And STOP thinking that you don’t deserve people’s help and kindness — if it were a close friend, you’d be helping and supporting her, and you deserve that treatment as well.
Post # 15
I’m so sorry you went through such a terrifying experience! You absolutely deserve everyone’s support and assistance. I’ll be thinking of you and hoping the police are successful.
Post # 16
I am so sorry. This is absolutely my worst nightmare and you have every right to feel every single feeling you have. I don’t even know you and I’m sad and angry for you, so I can only imagine the range of emotions and heartache you’re going through.
Try not to feel guilty that you have good friends and family and public servants helping you navigate this incredibly tough time. That’s the job of the public servants and it’s exactly what your friends and family want to be doing for you. I hope your fiance is also standing by you and supporting whatever you think the next step should be.
I’m really glad to hear you’re going to see a counselor or therapist. I hope that with time and therapy and lots of support from those surrounding you you will one day get to the point where you feel like yourself again.