(Closed) Thin Bees, Do you get comments on your weight? Was told I have no curves today.

posted 7 years ago in Fitness
  • poll: Is it worse to call someone too heavy or too thin?

    It's worse to say someone is too heavy.

    It's worse to say someone is too thin.

    You should never comment on weight.

    Oh, poor thin girls! Shut up.

    Oh, poor fat girls! Shut up.

  • Post # 122
    Member
    1497 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

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    @Mrs_Amanda:  I definitely do not think that “skinny” women have it as hard as “overweight” women in society– so I voted “oh poor thin girls just shut up”. And I AM one!

    +1. Now I’m wishing I had voted that. I’m a thin girl too, but I know I do NOT have it as hard as the rest of my family, who are overweight. Seriously, when other thin girls lament about how “difficult” it is to be overweight, and try to say it’s just the same for them as it is for overweight people, I’m just like,
     

     

    Post # 123
    Member
    1266 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

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    @bunnyharriet:  Try actually being SCARED to leave your house for fear of having insults about your body YELLED at you from people you don’t even know. I’ve been fat and thin and I have never been as insulted by a “thin comment” as I was, not even insulted, but moreso TRAUMATIZED by the fat comments. When you are fat, sometimes people don’t even see you as a person. It is a whole different ballpark, a whole different way of existing and is something you cannot even begin to comment on unless you have experienced it personally. Is it rude and inappropriate to make insulting remarks about someone’s body REGARDLESS of size? Absolutely. But do not even try to compare what you experienced with someone who has actually suffered life-altering trauma because of the outside world’s reaction to and judgment of their weight. You actually come across as pretty ignorant in your posts, and I don’t mean that in a harsh way, I mean it in the pure sense that “wow, she really does not know what it’s like to actually be fat”. You are thin and to be thin in this world is to be privileged. 

    This is not soley a fat vs. thin problem, this is also a problem of women having objectified to the point where our bodies no longer belong to us. This is a rape culture where it is acceptable for men and even women to shout sexually vulgar or otherwise insulting and frightening things to females in the streets, schools, wherever. Women are open game and it is so utterly wrong.

    Here’s a link about what I mean by “thin privilege” and why it is not meant to be an insult:

    http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2012/06/24/whats-this-thin-privilege-thing/

    And an interesting excerpt:

    I realized something awful today. I am now afraid to walk down the street without headphones in. Why? Because at any moment, someone might yell something incredibly horrible at me, in regards to the way I look. A car slowed down by me this morning with their window open and I held my breath, my muscles clenched. Luckily, this person was only asking directions. Unfortunately for me, up to four or more times a month, it is nothing so innocuous. On a regular basis “FATTY!” or “Jenny Craig!” or “WHALE!” might be yelled at me as a cowardly car speeds past. It’s rarely very creative. This past summer a group of club-bound girls in a taxi decided to tell my boyfriend he could do better than “Princess Fiona the Ogre” as we stood waiting for a streetcar on the way to a party, me in my new green top that had previously made me feel great, but has not been worn since. These episodes leave me feeling all kinds of hurt, angry, embarrassed… not to mention ashamed.

    There are many facets to me as a person and in regards to my appearance. However, I understand that much like a quick look at someone who is 6’5″ reads as “Tall”, a quick glance at me reads as “Fat”. If anyone who is naturally slim to average doesn’t know any better, let me tell you right now: every person who falls into the category of overweight/obese KNOWS this about themselves, maybe thinks about it more than anything else in their life. How could they not? It’s in our public perception from a very young age that anything other than slim is bad. Let me get this straight – I agree that too much excess fatty tissue is very unhealthy, as is an unbalanced diet and a sedentary lifestyle. However every person is different, and just like every person who ever did life-ruining drugs has a story, so do those with addictions to food. Don’t forget people with different problems: those on certain medications or who’ve been injured or have no access to good quality food.

    The thing is, I don’t need to explain myself or the reasons for who I am to a stranger walking or driving past me. No one deserves to have derogatory things yelled at them at ANY time. We teach children not to bully, but I see bullying from adults of all ages all the time. Can you imagine how you would feel if you were verbally attacked, not once, but repeatedly as you went about living your daily life? I don’t get it – would anyone expect that to motivate someone to change? Most of all, is it any of their business what I look like, what I do, or who I am with? I think the most laughable thing about it is that I am *walking* when this happens. You know, a form of exercise?

    Obesity might be an epidemic, but so is bullying. Maybe there would be less people self-medicating with food if there were less awful people attacking their self esteem. I know I am not the only one experiencing this. I have held off on talking about this because it is embarrassing and because I do feel ashamed for being too heavy. Thank-you for reading this, and if you could, please SHARE.

    http://stephguthrie.com/2013/01/14/street-harassment-and-fat-shaming/

    Post # 124
    Member
    8482 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I dont know why people think other peoples bodies are any of their damned business. Unless you’re extremely close to someone and genuinely concerned about their wellbeing, dont say anything.

    Post # 125
    Member
    2900 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I absolutely believe that we should never comment on other people’s bodies – thin, fat, curvy or not, small or large. It’s rude and does absolutely no good for anyone. I think the “real women have curves” thing does more damage than good. But with that said, I do think its worse to call someone fat than to call someone too thin. Being “too thin” is viewed differently from being “too fat” by our society. 

    Post # 126
    Member
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

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    @starla:  Exactly this.

    Post # 127
    Member
    905 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’m thin, and I like being thin, and I don’t care that I don’t have curves. I like that I have a 30.5A bra size, too. Makes some things easier to wear, and other things harder to wear, but every body type has that. I don’t mind that people comment on how thin I am, because it’s the truth. I think people need to be comfortable in their own body and own it. If you don’t like the way your body is, whether it be too thin, or too heavy, do something about it. If you like being the way you are, then don’t let comments bother you. Own it.

    Post # 128
    Member
    6349 posts
    Bee Keeper

    When I was a lot thinner, I got A LOT of negative comments about my weight; even something like ordering a Coke was irritating, as I’d ask for a Coke, and whoever was serving me would say ‘That’d be a Diet Coke, right?’ Umm, no; that would be a COKE, if I wanted Diet, I would have said ‘Can I have a Diet Coke please?’

    I find that it’s acceptable to criticise thin women, but not big women; and honestly, not only is ita huge double-standard, but it’s now getting to the point at which it is almost more acceptable to be overweight than it is to be at the lower end of a healthy weight.

    I also HATE it when people say slim women don’t have curves, or describe fat women as curvy. I am a UK size 8 (US size 4), but have 32Dear Daughter boobs and 34 inch hips; when I was even thinner, I had a perfect ‘hourglass’ figure: 34, 24, 34. THAT is ‘curvy’; having 3 spare tyres round your middle is not.

    Post # 129
    Member
    5399 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    @starla:  +1 and I’ve never been what most would really consider “fat” but my views are skewed because I worked in the entertainment industry, where medium is fat, large is obese, and xl is super obese. 

     

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    @barbie86:  I remember from a previous thread some time ago that you have pretty unique views on this. You called size 8-12 obese if I remember correctly, which isn’t accurate for a lot of people. I do, however, agree with you that “curvy” is the new pc descriptor for fat, and it’s not necessarily a compliment. 

    edit: actually I think that’s a huge part of the issue at hand. “Curvy” is a word that’s now used as a nice way to say large, plus sized, whatever. Before obesity was such an issue, curvy as a concept probably referred more to those with hourglass shapes and distinct curves. I think overweight women use it as a way to make themselves feel better to call thin women not curvy or refer to themselves are curvy rather than overweight, when really nobody is brave enough to just say fat, because that’s seen as so much more rude. I mean people should just keep these comments to themselves but I think the word curvy and what it means in our society is a big part of the problem. 

    Post # 130
    Member
    1266 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

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    @barbie86:  WRONG. So wrong and ignorant. It is absolutely not to the point where being fat is almost more acceptable than being thin. At. ALL. That is startlingly inaccurate.

    This BULLSHIT (because that’s what is is, utter horseshit) about “thin harassment” somehow being even more pervasive and hurtful than fat shaming is akin to saying: “Everyone complains about racism against people with colored skin, but it’s perfectly acceptable for others to make racist remarks about white people! Nowadays it’s almost like white people are the most discriminated against!!”.  Or a man whining about how “feminism has given women the upper hand over men!”. 

    You sound incredibly fat phobic so I’m not even going to bother with this thread any more but to say some of you women need to open your eyes and do some damn research. Google it, you have minds and it’s no one else’s responsibility to expand them but your own. Think for a second what it might be like to walk in someone else’s shoes. Read some blog entries about the TRUE adversity that fat people have to face every day. I have been eating disorder thin (as in, I starved the shit out of myself, over-excersized, and destroyed my health just so I wouldn’t have to face the ridicule anymore) and “unacceptably” fat at different times in my life. Being fat is infinitely more difficult. People treat you like shit and I see some really ugly attitudes in this thread alone. Some of you are ironically confirming this with your own….misguided….words.

     

     

    Post # 131
    Member
    113 posts
    Blushing bee

    Another woman just posted something just like this. Her fat family rags on her being a healthy weight. Jealous, if you ask me.

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    @BlondeMissMolly:  I agree. So much of America is obese or overweight. “Curvy” seems to be a way to pander to the overweight people and make them feel better about themselves.

    What about all those “real women” campaigns? What about the “real women” who happen to be thin? What about the women who work hard to be thin? Should they be shit on just to make the fat women feel better? No.

    Post # 132
    Member
    6349 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    @starla:  We (and by ‘we’, I mean the British and Americans) live in a society where the majority of our population is overweight or obese. I do not believe for one moment that poor education and laziness are the sole causes of this, I firmly believe that the idea that it is more accepted to be overweight plays a part too.

    And when I say ‘more accepted’, let me make myself clear: I am not saying it is acceptable to be overweight, and that big women don’t face nasty comments, but that there seems to have been something of an about-turn in attitudes.

    If I pick up a magazine here in the UK, yes, I will be guaranteed to come across some diet plan promising quick results; but equally, I will find half a dozen articles celebrating bigger women, from the interview with the obese celebrity who embraces her ‘curves’ and doesn’t care what people think, to fashion pages targetting larger women, to an article about BBWs. I will also usually find something deriding a celebrity for losing weight, or being ‘dangerously thin’, usually with the insinuation that they have an eating disorder. I personally find this trend disturbing as a) obesity affects a MUCH larger proportion of the population than anorexia/bulimia does, and so things which might be seen as ‘promoting’ it are IMPO much more damaging, as it affects more people and b) being overweight/obese is NOT something we should be celebrating; it has serious consequences for people’s health, and the sooner we start accepting this, and stop beating about the bush and burying our heads in the sand, the better.

    As for the adversity that fat people face: very few people who are overweight or obese have a medical reason (be that physical or mental/emotional) for being so. In the majority of cases it is simply down to eating too much, and moving too little. I live in a country where everyone is entitled to free health care, and the amount of money spent treating illnesses directly related to obesity, when there are other people being denied drugs like Herceptin on grounds of cost, sickens me. It does affect me that the majority of the population in my country is overweight or obese, and I struggle to have sympathy for the majority of these people. My friend is a dietician, and feels exactly the same.

    Post # 133
    Member
    6349 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    @hidingmyface:  Urgh, I hate ‘real women’ campaigns; it’s just another euphemism. I doubly detest it because the insinuation is that women who are a normal, healthy weight (or who are undwrweight for that matter) are not ‘real women’.

    Last time I checked I had female sex organs; as far as I know, that makes me a ‘real’ woman..

    Post # 134
    Member
    113 posts
    Blushing bee

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    @barbie86:  There is also a “zero is not a size” campaign. Last I checked, it is.

    Post # 135
    Member
    3423 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

     

    This is sad to read through, if anyone has been through an eating disorder they know how difficult and debilitating it can be. Shame on anyone for judging. 

    View original reply
    @hidingmyface:  Your post is a bit much, Honestly. What are you so upset about?  I feel sorry for you. 

    The topic ‘Thin Bees, Do you get comments on your weight? Was told I have no curves today.’ is closed to new replies.

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