Post # 1
Is it weird that I feel this way? I feel like my life is perfect right now, my Fiance and I are planning our wedding and it’s going amazing. We both have great jobs, everyone is happy and healthy. This terrifies me, because it feels too good to be true, at least once a day I find myself playing out what tradjedy is going to bring it all to an end.
It’s just that everytime I can look back and see things going so well something bad happened, not just kind of bad, but terrible. Most notably the death of my brother when I was in high school.
Somedays I break down if my Fiance doesn’t get in touch with me within a few hours of texting him. My mind goes all over the place thinking something terrible has happened to him.
Or I keep thinking I am going to get some terrible illness and die before the wedding. Or be in a car accident.
It’s not constant and it isn’t effecting my work or social life, but it does haunt me at least once a day but generally more.
Is this normal? Should I guidance or a confidant to deal with these emotions?
Post # 3
@ames12708: not sure. i think about this sometimes, too, but once a day seems kind of frequent. Maybe talking to a therapist would help?
Post # 4
“Most notably the death of my brother when I was in high school.”
I think the way you feel is common for someone that has gone through a tragic loss. My mother died tragically and suddenly, and I am the same as you as far as getting very worried if my husband isn’t in touch for a long period.
I don’t have much in the way of advice except that if does start to affect your life, you should seek some sort of help.
Post # 5
Oh man. My life isn’t perfect anywhere except for where Fiance is concerned, but even that scares me. It’s too perfect. We’re too happy. We’re not fighting right now (we’ve gotten into fights before but it’s been a few months now). That scares me, deposits are down, we’re getting married, his family likes me well enough, etc. How long can this keep up?
I’ve been dealing with crisis after crisis after crisis since I was a kid. I’m not used to something going this right, and if it seems to be this right, it usually means something is about to happen.
I think I need to go to therapy to deal with this because me stressing out about being too happy is going to start causing issues. I’m paranoid that something will go wrong. He’ll die in a car accident on his way home from work, or he’ll fall out of love with me, or my mom will die, or my sister, or this, or that, and it’s just driving me crazy waiting for the next crisis that’s going to ruin this bliss.
I don’t know if it helps that I feel like that too, but I do. I’ve decided I need to get help but I’m not quite ready to take the step of picking up the phone and scheduling an appointment.
Post # 6
@ames12708: I know exactly how you feel. I’m in a similar state. It seems everything in my life is going perfect, everything about the wedding is falling in place. Last year happened to be one of the worst years of my life. My uncle killed himself which really left a hole in our family. Not only have we delt with lossing him but his crazy ex-wife wouldn’t allow us to see his 6 year old daughter which hurt even worse. Then my Nanna who I am closest to had her 4th heart attack in 2 years. With so much sadness over the past year, I just feel like my world is going to come tumbling down before my wedding.
I don’t know if you are religious, but I have found everytime I think horrible thoughts like my Fiance dying or lossing my Nanna before the wedding, or any number of tragic incidents before then, I just say a little prayer and feel instant relief.
No your not alone, and just think happy thoughts!
Post # 7
I think it is somewhat normal for anyone to play that game with themselves and to have a certain amount of mistrust for life when everything is going really well. I definitely do it sometimes. It does sound like you may have some lingering issues that arose as a result of your brother’s death. If it is something that is interferring with your ability to accept your own happiness you might consider speaking with a professional (like a psychologist) about it. They might be able to identify the source within a few sessions to help you to fully accept the past so that you can enjoy your future. Only you will be able to know if this is necessary. Good luck and contgratulations on your happiness!
Post # 8
@Lt.Columbo: I agree. I lost a very, very close friend in a tragic car accident 4 years ago. I still get panicky when Fiance doesn’t respond to me fast enough or goes off the radar unexpectedly. I also have him call or text whenever he is on the road, heading to or from work or his customers, getting on a plane, as soon as he lands etc. He used to think it was funny, but I think now he realizes just how much I fear the unknown and is faithful about it now to help me deal with it.
Post # 9
I think everyone has these kinds of thought regardless of if they’ve had terrible tragedies in their lives. I have these thoughts pretty often (at most once a day) and I’ve been pretty fortunate (only a couple grandparents and pets deaths). So it seems normal to me but I do agree that if it starts affecting your life that you should see someone.
Post # 10
I have been feeling the same way lately! My thoughts and prayers are with you. But you definitely do deserve happiness.
Post # 11
I am so much like you! When I first met my now fiance I almost couldn’t believe what a wonderful man he was, and that anyone could be that perfect a match for me, in every way I can think of. And now that we’re engaged and planning our wedding we’re closer and more in love than ever. We both have great jobs and healthy, happy sons (one each from previous marriages). I go through the same anxiety and almost panic attacks lately – that things are so perfect in my life right now it almost feels scary. I’ve been through a lot of bad things in my life so it feels a little surreal to be with someone who is so loving and kind now. But I don’t question it, I just say a little prayer of thankfulness every day. It’s good to know I’m not the only crazy, too-much-in-love woman out there, lol . . .
Post # 11
I am commenting years later because I am feeling the same way. I just got engaged Friday. But for months, the fear of one day having to live without my fiancé in any type of way is a crippling fear I don’t go a day without. I look up statistics to try and ease my worries, I try to think rationally, but at the end of the day I know I would not want to live without him. I hope and pray I am the first to go so that I never have to live without him. I have such a hard time even just worrying about something as simple as is getting divorced one day to worrying about worst case scenarios and I can’t get past it. It worries me so much and makes me sick even imagining not having him in my life. He is my best friend, my confidant, my rock and the love of my life and nobody would ever compare to him. I would never get over it. Right now I am so happy it’s like I’m just almost waiting for something to take that away from me in some sort of way. It’s a hard life to live day by day.
Post # 12
Does anyone else feel this way/have any advice?
Post # 13
To the original topic, I do feel this way a lot. My life is pretty amazing on the surface. I have a great life. Good career with excellent pay (which techincally I should be doing now and not on this board LOL). Own my home (well technically the bank owns it but ya know). I have an amazing relationship with my best friend, etc, etc. I do fear that things will go bad one day and I don’t know how to handle it.
I was in an accident a few months ago – my fault. First accident and first time even getting a ticket. I’m still not sure of the outcome of that finanically so that’s been the first blip to my perfect life. Then a couple weeks later, a really close Aunt passed. That was the worst month of my life in many many years. That’s the point, where above all else, I knew my boyfriend was my everything. He stood beside me through it all and was my shoulder to cry on.
Then the next month, April, everything completely turned back around when we got engaged. And I’m backing to thinking that my life is too good. As a religious person, I just say I’m blessed. I don’t know why God blesses me of all people so much, but I thank Him for it.