- 7 years ago
I have been away for a while. You guys might remember my story – I am planning on going to grad school next fall, bf and I have been dating for 4 years, I wanted to be engaged by the time I have to decide on schools, and he wasn’t sure if I was “the one.”
I have been staying away from the bee because reading it was making me more and more obsessed with engagements and stressing me out about him not knowing.
We had some tear soaked nights earlier this January talking about why he didn’t know yet – after 4 years if he wanted to commit to me. The outcome of these rough times was he determined he still did want to be with me – and a mutual timeline of September for his decision. (Either we get engaged and start building a future together while I am in grad school – or we break up and I move on with my life in grad school without him).
After this was determined I put a lot of effort into “focusing on me.” I started heavily studying for the graduate admission exam, I signed up to run my first race and actually spent time and money seeing a counselor to begin treatment of my long term anxiety and depression.
Things have been looking up. I feel more calm and secure for the future. I stopped getting so anxious and have been living in the moment more instead of obsessing about the future. Boyfriend or Best Friend started being more affectionate. He started making an effort to spend even more time with me. He decided to invite me on a trip with a bunch of other young married couples from his work. He planned a wonderful valentines day surprise all on his own. About a month ago, I asked Boyfriend or Best Friend “We are still on for our september timeline, right?” and his reply “Yes, I will definitely have something by then.” Then, a week ago he told me he booked a weekend vacation for us in one of our favorite cities…for September! This is out of character – he rarely plans anything in advance, let alone a vacation in September when it is 6 months away. I am getting a good feeling about this and playing along like I don’t suspect anyting.
If he does propose in September, I think I can attribute it to two things. 1. He needed to process the situation without pressure from me in his own time. 2. He turned 26 and I think felt now he “is not too young” to get married.
Just an update/some insight!