(Closed) Things are not getting any better…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Who is the problem here... really?

    FI... he needs to grow a set

    FMIL... she is a toxic b****

    OP...you're letting it all happen.

  • Post # 3
    456 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Surprised how have you not strangled your Future Mother-In-Law yet?  what a nutjob..


    Post # 4
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    Omg she is insane.  What the heck is going to happen if you guys have kids? Yikes.  I’m so sorry she is basically ruining what should be an amazing time for you,

    Post # 5
    100 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    OP- are you sure that Fiance and his family are people you can spend the rest of your life with? Not to be harsh, but you two seem to have serious communication and money management issues. Additionally, your Future Mother-In-Law will NOT change; it will get worse when she gets grandchildren. If it were me, I’d probably put the house up for sale and move on, while getting out is still an option. 

    Post # 6
    500 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I would seriously reconsider marrying into this family

    Post # 7
    5789 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Awww….just reading all this makes me want to punch her in the face and call the whole thing off. 🙁  God bless you for putting up with all this and not having a breakdown.

    You just need to regroup now and start all over, planning what YOU want and to heck with all the rest. You will absolutely never be able to make this woman happy, so I’d stop trying.

    She’ll come or she won’t. Her loss.

    Post # 8
    443 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’ve been following your posts… and honestly – I’d get out while I still can. If things don’t get resolved I foresee a lot of resentment in your future…

    Post # 9
    270 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I agree with protea. Who wants a life like that?

    Post # 10
    752 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I agree with the others – I’ve been keeping up with your posts.  Forgive me for saying this but it’s reading situations like yours that make me think “Why did they even bother getting married?  It was obvious the marriage wasn’t going to work.”

    Nothing is going to get better with his family or him.  You will continue fighting them tooth and nail trying to meet their demands.  A relationship isn’t supposed to be THAT hard. 


    Post # 11
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    She doesn’t get to intimidate you with ultimatums and threats like she has been. It’s nice of your dad to have this meeting with her, but since she’s not contributing, who gives a flying eff what she thinks. You should be able to plan a wedding within the budget you’ve defined and really, her only job is to show up. You need to be able to plan your wedding in a way that you feel comfortable and your Fiance should support you. I know that it’s more convenient to blame her for everything, but you also need to examine your FI’s angle in all of this.

    If he isn’t making decisions with you and if he’s supporting these outrageous and intimidating requests that his mom is making, don’t marry him. If mom comes first now, she will always come first.

    Post # 12
    666 posts
    Busy bee

    so much + 1 to the PPs.. This is the real concern.

    Post # 13
    868 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’ve been following your posts and honestly, why is anyone listening to their demands?  Take control of the wedding with your parents and cut out everything.  if your Fiance is going to be a big baby and throw a tantrum over a shit load of $$ being spent, even after you have begged/pleaded, its obvious YOUR needs do not matter to him.  Maybe it would be a good idea to stop the planning at this point.  Your parents are footing the bill – end of story.  If his parents won’t contribute, they do not get any of their demands met, simple.  This might be a good life lesson for you – please don’t go through with your wedding this way.  


    Best of luck

    Post # 14
    591 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    View original reply
    @pineapplelove:  This.

    Seriously, what is going to happen if/when you have kids?  Is she going to dictate what you name your baby?  Where you send her to daycare?  What soccer team your son plays on?  

    She sounds insane.

    Post # 16
    591 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Does she realize what a wedge her behavior is driving between you?  You would think her relationship with her daughter-in-law would be more important than one day.  But that’s what a rational person would think and it’s pretty obvious that she is far from rational.

    I am so sad for you.  This is supposed to be a happy time where your families are coming together to celebrate you and your fiance and your relationship.  Why does she have to be such a bitch?  I wish I had her phone number so I could slap some sense into her.

    It may sound crazy, but what about a therapy session?  Or, if you may be able to afford it, what about a wedding planner so she can hear from an unbiased source that some things just are not in the budget.  


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