(Closed) Things I am not going to experience…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

@happyface:  I’m sure your intimate wedding will be just as amazing.Why not write a list of everything you will have. I can think of a few,marrying your love,getting to share it with your family,being able to spend time with your guests.

Sending you a cyber hug.xoxo

Post # 4
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Cheer up.  I think you and me are alike in that we consider few people friends.  I grew up being a very shy girl and never really “made” friends.  When I grew up and started coming out of my shell I made some but they were so fickle and shallow that most of them are gone.  It’s not about how many people are around you but the quality of those around you.  Think of the quality, those that are family and the love of your life.  Those are the ones who count.  

Smile a little, it helps  πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@happyface:  Aww…. πŸ™  Sorry you’re sad about this! 

I know it won’t be much of a consolation, but having a bridal party was my biggest regret, because people go crazy with envy / or whatever else is coursing in their veins when you’re trying to plan your day. They somehow manage to make your event about them in some way. So you really aren’t missing much in that department.

As for the registry, why can’t you register? People will bring gifts to a wedding, why not give them some guidance on what you need? 

I know this doesn’t solve the fundamental problem, but if you are missing friends in your life, you can establish something you want to become involved in, and start from there. Join meetup.com, and have some hobbies in mind. Go to some meetings, and you’ll meet some like-minded people that may become close friends over time. It doesn’t hurt, and gives you a social component that may fill that void a little better. Personal interaction is important, plus it will give you stories to come home to your husband with. 

Post # 6
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m right there with you. We’re  having a max of 20 people (us and our daughter included), and I doubt any of my friends (the whole 3 of them) will be able to come since it’s far away from where I live – the only people there on my side will be my mom and dad.

I was feeling pretty ‘meh’ about everything but I’ve kind of gotten into the idea of having this small intimate wedding just with people who love us very much. Focus on the things you are having, especially for whatever is most exciting to you (for me, it’s food). Hang in there πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I had a small wedding – My bf was my maid of honor and my three girls were my bridesmaids.

My hubss Bridesmaid or Best Man was his brother and other brothers were groomsemen.

 

My mom and dad were there and his 2 sisters were there.  That was it!. 

 

I had a reception afterwards in a month and I’m not sure if that changes things but I did have a small bridal shower, even at work the girls threw me one.  I would have had a bacherolette party but there was a monsoon happening that night so we all just partied (my family and hubss even)  it was fun and i don’t feel i missed out.  Also, me and hubbss went out to a club a week before (something we don’t usually do) ans OUR bachelor/bacherlette party.  It was a memory we will always have.

 

You can taste cakes!  I tasted at least 3.  I did not have a huge cake!  I ended up having a family member make it for cheap. 

 

You don’t have to exclude these things from your wedding.  THis is a great day in your life.  Just have to be creative in what you do!!  I know you can do it!!!!! 

Post # 8
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had a destination wedding. Invited just over 30 guests and 24 total were there the day of.

I had 2 bridesmaids and Darling Husband had 2 groomsmen.  I still had the bridal shower, registry, bachelorette, flower girl & ring bearer and dress shopping. Try to make your guests feel more included in the wedding planning process.  You can still have all those things (if you want) by talking to those you are closer with.

If you don’t have a bridal party, just include your closest friends in planning a bash~ 

Post # 9
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@happyface:  Din’t be sad happyface. Our wedding has 100 people and Im still not having a bridal shower/hen party/gift lists/grromsmen/maids of honour etc. Things aren’t the things that make your day. Really I think it just shifts the focus from you, and at least you know everyone there will be wishing you the best not making notes!x

Post # 11
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@happyface:  That probably is contributing to your down feelings. When I’m feeling not so great about something (like that my best friend won’t be able to come because she’s moving overseas, or that we won’t have a photographer), I try to avoid the threads all about getting ready with BFFs, great photos, etc – not because I’m not interested or happy for people who get that kind of thing, but because it reminds me that I’m still a bit disappointed about things not being ‘perfect.’

Post # 13
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Here’s something to think about…

I didn’t have a bachelorette party, bridal luncheon, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, MOD/BM, or a FG/RB…  HOWEVER…I do have the most wonderfully, fantastic, incredible husband in the whole world, and THAT outweighs any of the things I didn’t have.  I’ll take him over any of that other stuff any day. 

You’re going to have the same thing.  The other stuff, although nice, is not nearly as important as what you’re going to end up with. 

 

Post # 14
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We had a wedding of about #150 people-nearly all relatives.  I didn’t have most of these either:

I chose a cousin as Maid of Honor (Only female cousin from that side of the family. 

I didn’t have any friends close enough to be bridesmaids, and I didn’t want to hurt anyones feelings of choosing between other family members and no Flower Girl or Ring Bearer.

-The positive part: It didn’t cost a fortune for gifts, lol, no photos of people that I no longer see/connect with in wedding photos, and NO Bridesmaid or Best Man drama!, LOL.

No Bachelorette or Bridal luncheon-                                                                   No Registering for gifts-                    I don’t think anyone did those back then.                                                             at least not in my family/circle.

I had a “surprise” bridal shower-and was thankful-but I didn’t care much for having one, didn’t really want one-even with family members because I was painfully shy, and I think I can only remember 1 gift after all these years that made an impact.

We didn’t have a cake-testing-because we already knew of a family friend who would be making our cake-I just knew she made yummy tasting ones.

I tried on one (my) wedding dress in a bridal shop-by myself, with my fiancee in the car. I happened to find the style I had in my head. My mom came after I already picked it out, and invited my aunt (without my prior knowledge).  So much for mother/daughter bonding.

Dancing the night away-well, my husband doesn’t dance, and he was kidnapped from the WEDDING RECEPTION and missed most of it-

BUT 30 years later, we are still married and did have an beautiful, awesome wedding day-(except for the kidnapping part.) and a “honeymoon” 2 kids and 3 years later.  πŸ˜‰

Don’t let it get you down.  There is still lots to celebrate!!–Don’t get hung up on the stuff that doesn’t matter or stresses you out.   (BTW-even though I enjoyed my wedding–I actually had more fun at my daughter’s 65 person wedding)

Best wishes for a wedding day full of love, happiness, family, and fun, and many years of happy marriage.

                                  Sorry for the book!                      

 

 

 

Post # 16
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

We will have to throw you a classic Wedding Bee virtual Batchelorette πŸ˜‰

Let us know when your ready!

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