Post # 1
I do not even pretend to think that I know everything, but I have done an immense amount of research on everything baby for several years now in preparation of having one of my own and there were some things I found to be quite shocking or that I didn’t know at all before. I’d just like to spread the awareness!
Things I believe you should look into before deciding what you’ll do with your own:
Breastfeeding: benefits, recommended weaning age, lactation help in your area.
Extended rear facing your car seat: Not very often talked about, but most parents turn their baby forward facing at the ABSOLUTE minimum weight for the safety and it’s been proven that this is not nearly as safe as rear facing longer.
Hospital birth vs birth center/home birth: In nearly every other 1st world country, midwives more often deliver babies than OB’s and we in the United States have one of the WORST mother/infant mortality rates among 1st world nations. Are we doing it wrong? I think so.
There are others but they are more so personal opinion type things, however I think these three are very important to look into. One of the things I hate most about so many pregnant women is that they question nothing and just do what they think everyone else does or what is “normal”. Question everything, momma’s and do what you find to be best for yourself and your baby!
Post # 3
In nearly every other 1st world country, midwives more often deliver babies than OB’s and we in the United States have one of the WORST mother/infant mortality rates among 1st world nations.
@quierajen: Our healthcare is privatized, therefore based on profit.
Post # 4
ITA on car seat safety! Rear facing is safest, then transition to a 5 pt harness, then a high back booster as late as early elementary school. The laws are a minimum, not a safety standard. I don’t have kids, but I’m a sitter/nanny, and no child goes in my car without appropriate safety, whether that be just a seat belt or a harnessed car seat.
Post # 5
@housebee: Oh absolutely! That’s why the cesarian rate is so high here, not to mention the overuse of dangerous drugs such as Pitocin. It’s not completely Dr.’s fault, so many women now feel inconvenienced at the idea of going into labor naturally.. we’ve all forgotten how our bodies do this and expect it to be done like a procedure, not a gradual natural thing..
Now I know that there ARE needs for things like this, but it certainly isn’t 1 in 3 births.
Post # 6
Even here in Australia midwife births are way more common. An ob will be more involved if you are private, but still mostly midwives. It blows my mind hearing about the US health system (our public health is typically excellent and totally free to give birth – yay us!).
Post # 7
Interestingly enough, I have a friend who is a doctor and she says she has done a lot of reading up on breast-feeding studies and found the vast majority of the benefit to breast-feeding babies found in such studies is usually down to the bad water/sanitary quality in developing countries. She isn’t planning on breast-feeding since she thinks that in developed countries with modern milk mixes there is hardly any difference between bottle or breast.
Now obviously this is all second-hand information so I’d probably still breast-feed just in case, but I thought that was a very interesting take on the issue from someone who is trained in medicine and up-to-date with recent work in the field.
Post # 8
@Catcat1: also here in aus, it is compulsury to have your child in a rear facing seat untill they are 12 months old, and must be in a child seat untill they are 6 to 8years old..depending on their weight and size. I know alot of people winge about it but it really has improved child/infant mortality rates in major accidents. Also, our baby seats have life spans on them. A child restraint seat any older than 10 years old is deemed illegal. So no dangerous worn out hand me downs allowed.
another thing women should question and look into is the cost of childcare and what options they have available to them when they do decide to rejoin the workforce. It really does hit the hip pocket. Our government does provide some subsidies but it is income tested. Unfortunately for us, we are actually worse off if I go back to work full time/part time and put our children into childcare. It sucks because even though we are entitled to absolutely no entitlements, we are financially worse off than a couple with a bunch of kids on welfare. 🙁
Post # 9
I know all of these things and I am still planning on having a hospital birth with as much medical intervention as my Dr. sees fit to deliver a healthy baby, and I’m planning on bottle feeding because it fits better with my lifestyle and I was bottle fed and am just fine, thank you very much.
So yes, while I believe it is important to educate yourself on your options, I don’t think there is any “right” answer when it comes to choosing how to birth and raise your child.
Post # 10
I whole heartedly agree with the notion that if a woman chooses to breastfeed, awesome!! If you choose to bottle feed, awesome too!! It really does depend on a mothers situation and what works for her and her family. Breastfeeding really is time consumin and only one person has the burdon. I have chosen the bf route with both my childern (my choice) but I really do envy the freedom and flexibility that bottle feeding provides…. expecially when your baby is unsettled and teething at 1, then 3, then 4 then 5 oclock in the morning!
Post # 11
I agree. I think it is very important to look into options (and fully consider all the positives and negatives) but as @ExcitedScaredBee said, what may be good for some may not be good for others’ lifestyles. I do plan to breastfeed, but I won’t judge a woman who doesn’t or think she is doing her baby harm because I wasn’t breastfed and here I am, happy and healthy!
Do I think we are doing it wrong in our country? No. Many, many, many healthy and happy babies are born every day with the help of great doctors, whether the mother has been medicated or not. I think it comes down the personal choices each mother makes and the amount of time she spends researching. I want to have a natural birth, but if I or my baby are in danger of course I will use whatever measures necessary to ensure our healthy.
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I always tell new parents it is not child abuse when you realize you are overwhelmed and need to take a break from your baby. Make sure they are fed, have a clean diaper, and in a safe place (like their crib), then walk away and take a few minutes to calm down yourself. If the feeling doesn’t pass, check to make sure your baby is still safe and call your SO, a family member, or friend to talk you down or better yet come and assist you. Every new parent reaches their breaking point at some point in time, make sure you have a safety plan in place.
Post # 13
Things every parent should know:
People will judge you from the moment you concieve. You will be eating the wrong thing, excercising too much/too little, having a home birth/having a hospital birth, breastfeeding/bottle feeding, SAHM/working mom, homeschooling/public schooling and on and on and on. SOMEONE is going to think you are doing it wrong because THEY know better.
Your choices, made with the guidance of your Dr. and your child’s pediatrician are the RIGHT ones for YOU. Don’t let people scare you. And don’t believe everything you read.
Post # 14
@Arrowchan: Well she obviously hasn’t done very good research on this, because there is no formula in the world that provides personalized immunity benefits depending on what you and your baby have been in contact with recently. Sure, it is a decent alternative to those who can’t breastfeed for one reason or another, but it’s exactly that, an alternative, not an equal.
Post # 15
@eeniebeans: I totally agree.
I think this is a bit of a slippery slope. I am all for women reading up on all things pregnancy and birth and making informed choices. However, reading lots of articles on the internet, while great, is not “doing research.” Research is conducted in a scientific manner, to control variables and to pinpoint cause and effect. It is not opinion. We need to be considerate of others’ different lifestyles or choices; what is best for them might be different than what is best for you. I think most formula-feeding moms know that “breast is best” but have either chosen to or ended up using formula for a variety of reasons and assuming these women just need to “do more research” can come off as condescending, especially when you are on your first child. I most definitely plan on breastfeeding, but I would never judge anyone that doesn’t, or doesn’t exclusively, or pumps, or doesn’t pump, or doesn’t “long enough”, or does “too long,” or uses donor milk, or doesn’t use donor milk.
Post # 16
@quierajen: I think this thread was posted with good intent, you gave some things to think about and then said – “do what you find to be best for yourself and your baby” – but your last post really made it look more like you had an agenda for posting in the first place.
A bee says her friend, who is a doctor, is planning to formula feed –
“I have a friend who is a doctor and she says she has done a lot of reading up on breast-feeding studies and found the vast majority of the benefit to breast-feeding babies found in such studies is usually down to the bad water/sanitary quality in developing countries. She isn’t planning on breast-feeding since she thinks that in developed countries with modern milk mixes there is hardly any difference between bottle or breast.
Now obviously this is all second-hand information so I’d probably still breast-feed just in case, but I thought that was a very interesting take on the issue from someone who is trained in medicine and up-to-date with recent work in the field.“
And your response was judgmental.
“Well she obviously hasn’t done very good research on this, because there is no formula in the world that provides personalized immunity benefits depending on what you and your baby have been in contact with recently. Sure, it is a decent alternative to those who can’t breastfeed for one reason or another, but it’s exactly that, an alternative, not an equal.”
Just wanted to point out you got sanctimommy right there – (on a doctor…) after you said people should do what is best for them.
I am 5 months along and nothing bothers me more than people who say oh do whatever is best for you and baby! and then side-eye you for making the “wrong choice” – I’d rather someone be openly opposed to something quite frankly,.