(Closed) Things I didn't know before having a baby (for fun or for ranting!) :)

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 16
9818 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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FutureMRS3lastnames:  lol funny, I would describe contractions as the worst menstrual cramps EVER.  Like x100000

I never leaked as much as some people but my baby is 14mo and I will still occasionally get that little wet spot on my shirt from the other boob leaking

I didn’t realize how hard pumping was!  At least at first.  It took me over 2 mo and a new pump (my one from insurance was terrible) to actually become a decent pumper!  I couldn’t pump without my baby also eating simultaneously in the beginning.  I learned a lot about breastfeeding, and there are definitely a lot of things people don’t know about how it works or what goes into being succesful!

I also didn’t know it would make me not be able to watch the news or other sad stuff that is real life   I avoid it all the time.  I wonder if I will ever get better!

There are lots of weird things about babies you would never know before but reading up helps.  Like that newborn girls can have a “period” or other odd stuff.

Post # 17
190 posts
Blushing bee

I didn’t realize my luscious beautiful pregnancy hair would fall out leaving me looking like a wet rat with alopecia/mange.

I didn’t realize how time got away so fast, whereas I was once diligent in keeping up the baby book’s “milestones” it hasnt been written in since she was 3 months old.  She’s almost 3 YEARS old now.  It just occurred to me last week.

I didn’t realize how expensive professional portraiture can be.  I should’ve bought the camera 3 years ago instead of 3 weeks ago.

I didn’t realize how a mother that never produced more than 0.25oz of breast milk can still be lactating 2 years out.  Imagine the shock when I thought it was long gone, and it squeezed out of nowhere!




I love all of the “pre prego pledges” I hear.  “Oh I’ll never let my kid watch cartoons” was one I recently heard.  Hones, you single like I was.  If you want to shower before next week, and nothing else is holding baby’s attention, youll be dialing up SpongeBob SquarePants ASAP.  

I also tell them to enjoy the time before solid food.  It was hard enough remembering to feed myself and scavenging at odd hours once it occurred to me I hadn’t ate.  When baby starts wanting “real” food, no more milk in a bottle…no more popping out the teet for a quick snack.  Your Rachael Ray “30 minutes or less” game better be strong.  

Post # 18
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

1. That when my baby learned new things.. like how to roll over (which she did today) I would bawl like a baby because I was so proud of her.

2. That at 4 months old I would want another baby.

3. I was totally expecting to have an epidural so when I didn’t I felt (and still feel like) a total superhero… someone who can go through more than she thought

4. I learned that mothers intuition can happen even before the baby arrives.  I had a feeling she was a girl and she was… I also just knew she was going to be early (I expected about a week early) and she was born 2.5 weeks early. 

Post # 19
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

How much it could change the dynamics of my relationship with my husband. Both in a way that sleep deprivation has us snapping at each other, but more importantly we are so much closer in a partnership way as parents. 

That, unlike what I expected (as I always wanted 3 babies) my son fulfills me so completely that after having him I can’t imagine having another. I may change my mind as he’s only 10 months, but boy, this kid has every single millimeter of my heart in a way I never thought. I can’t imagine doing it again with another. 

How “easy” breastfeeding is in the sense that once solids start, you really have to think and plan and prepare in a way I never had to when I could just whip out my boob. 

Post # 21
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yesss!! My boobs leaked like CRAZY too for probably the first 3-4 months of breastfeeding. I too had a ridiculous oversupply and would become engorged so easily.

Pumping was the bane of my existence.

Completely agree with the PPs who said having your baby eat real food instead of just breastmilk was such a pain! Sounds so stupid, but breastfeeding at every meal was just so much easier.

AND the lack of sleep causing you to snap at Darling Husband at 3am. 

That I would ever want to just squeeze and hold my daughter so tight for as long as possible every chance I got. My heart bursts with so much love for her everyday. Especially when she pulls my face in to give me a kiss or hug me around the neck. OMG I melt into a puddle.

I didn’t know that I could possibly love Darling Husband more, but seeing him with Dear Daughter lights up my whole world.

Post # 22
2542 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Definitely I had no idea about what that kind of sleep deprivation would feel like. There’s just no way to even prepare. It really sucks you into a vortex.

I had no idea that when your water broke, it doesn’t just break once with one big gush. I kept gushing all day.

I had no idea how having a much wanted baby in a strong marriage could still test us like nothing before. And also, I have no idea how single parents do it.

I had no idea that I would lose all my friends, and that in the end all I really want to do is spend time with my husband and baby anyway.

I discovered that having everything ready for the next day the night before (pre making meals, re-packing the diaper bag) makes my day immensly easier and way less stressful…and I have also discovered that most of the time I’m way too tired to get everything ready the night before.

I didn’t know that I would be so body conscious of my post baby, post breast feeding body. I really struggle now with feeling confident when I never had that problem before. I even find it very hard to let my husband see me naked.

I used to want 5 kids. Now that I have 1, I think *mayyybe* we’ll have 2 but that’s it for sure. I genuinely don’t think we could handle any more. It’s fricken hard work, and I love my son and being a Mom more than anything. I see people with 5 kids now and I wonder how on earth they do it.

I have learned how old fashioned I am. When my one and a half year old tried to ‘swipe’ across the screen of one of his v-tech toys my heart sank.

Also that I have never been more concerned about temperature in my entire life. What’s temperature in his room? 22? It feels much colder in there. Ok well he’s got footy pyjamas so he should be warm enough. It was so hot in there before now it’s cooled right off, he’s only wearing a little shorts and t-shirt, I’m going to go put a blanket on him, omg it’s 25 in there now I hope he’s not too hot…..it never ends.

And lastly, I never knew how many straight up conversations about poo my husband and I could have. Shape, size, consistency, colour. It doesn’t even phase us. We’ll yell downstairs “He had a poo!” “Ok, what did it look like?” “It looks good, brownish playdough” 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  Sunshine09.
  • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  Sunshine09.
Post # 23
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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Sunshine09:  lol’ed at the poo conversation. My baby is still 4 months away, but my husband and I already do this with our cat who has IBD. “Tootsie roll turds” are the gold standard and we discuss any deviations from this standard in crazy detail. We are also not fazed at all by wiping poop off a cat. I HAVE to think this will pay off in terms of parenting skills, right? 

Post # 24
1167 posts
Bumble bee

1) Sleep deprivation does suck! It doesn’t end with baby sleeping through the night! Nope!! Sick kids want to sleep with Mom in your bed! Scared kids? Guess what…..yep….with Mom in your bed! Kids who just want to cuddle with Mom in your bed! I’ve been kicked, punched, had feet walk up my back to my neck and then kick me in head. I’ve been puked on, I’ve been coughed on but I still love to cuddle my 2 minions in my bed.

2) I thought my Mom was joking about me projectile vomiting across the room. This is no lie as I soon discovered with son#2 and his severe reflux! Oh yes at only a few months old that boy could puke clear across the room sometimes!

3) Poop! Don’t put your baby down for a nap wearing only a tshirt and lying on a towel because his diaper rash is raw and irritating his butt. You will walk in to find everything covered in poop! Said child thought this would be good time to express his artistry skills and give Mom a heart attack at the same time! Everything…..and I mean everything within child’s reach was covered and he was in middle grinning at me!

4) Don’t be afraid to ask for help and escape. Leave the baby with Dad. Even if it’s for a few hours to meander around Target. You need the break and it will be good for Dad to have bonding time. My friend and I often leave my 2 and her 2 with my Darling Husband to go meander around Target, Lowes, etc. Dad’s need to learn about the level of insanity we go through being Stay-At-Home Mom.

5) Boys at any age really do find all bodily functions hilarious. They will try to bring you down to their level. Don’t fall for it….stay strong! These jokes are sometimes ill-timed…dinner table, out in public, etc….that is when they find them the most funny and yes wine hurts when it spews out your own nose! Yes, I admit they have caught me unaware of their jokes. But really sometimes you just can’t keep a straight face and laughter is the best medicine.

6) I swore I wouldn’t be “that” Mom. Well…..I am that Mom. The one who uses her kids shirts to wipe their own noses because there was no tissues. The one who told her sons to pee behind a bush at the park because they waited until the last minute to tell you and now there is no way they are going to make it to the bathrooms. The one who rode home in only a bra because her son puked all over his clothes and you sacrificed your tshirt for him to wear. (Thank goodness the store was across the street and I hit the green light at the perfect moment.) The one who gets take out because it’s easy and I’m tired to cook. Don’t judge……you will become that Mom too!

6) That it is possible to love your first unconditionally and you don’t think you can love another like that. But then you have another one and your heart expands. And you realise that you can love both equally and just as unconditionally. And when you get that love back, you are filled with so much joy.

I hope you enjoy the bit of wisdom….and yes sarcasm….that I leave you with. Enjoy life to it’s fullest. Don’t take life for granted….enjoy it each step of the way. I wish I had documented the boys’ early lives better…..first words, funny things they have said. They are now 10 and 7. They continue to provide us daily with a nice mix of frustration, laughter, and love. I hope your kids do too.



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