(Closed) Things learned while involved in being in other people’s weddings…

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

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@RayRayFurious: It was pretty awful. And I gotta say, I don’t know if our friendship will ever be the same. The bride seems to think we were in the wrong for being upset.

Post # 20
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@artichokey: Lol.  A stool?  Plastic plates, silverware and dixie cups, WHAT?!?!?!

Here is my experience with head tables:

I was a bridesmaid at my aunt’s wedding (who is 18 years older than me) and she made her entire bridal party sit at the head table for the entire reception.  Oh wait, she let us get us to dance, but that was it.  Even photos had to be taken either while dancing or at the head table. 

I had nothing to say to her friends and the only thing they kept saying to me was “I remember when you were a baby.” 

It was horrible. 

Post # 21
Member
302 posts
Helper bee

Yeah, I am all for not having a long head table looming at the front of the room.  It is awkward to eat at those because you can really only talk to the 2 ppl next to you and you feel like you are eating on a stage.  I once went to a wedding with a boy I just started dating–he was in the wedding (it was his brother’s wedding).  I didn’t know ANYONE! Barely knew his parents! So it was more than a little awkward when he had to go sit at the head table and leave me to fend for myself amongst people I did not know.  A few months later I went to his other brother’s wedding, which he was obciously a Bridesmaid or Best Man in.  This time they had 2 round tables on the same level as the rest of the tables for the wedding party, and their dates could sit with them.  Not so awkward.  This was 4 years ago and that same guy is still my boyfriend ๐Ÿ™‚

I agree that food should be provided to the wedding party for long days. I almost passed out when I was in a friend’s wedding bc I was so hungry–literally, i had to walk away in the middle of the ceremony 3 TIMES and lay down because I thought I was going to pass out!!

Also I know not to drink a whole lot before the wedding.  Between the long day, lack of food, standing in the sun for pictures/ceremony, and my low tolerance, I cannot make it a whole day starting with mimosas, moving on to beer and shots, then having wine and champagne at the wedding.  For my wedding I want to feel totally good!! I mean, a few drinks later in the night might be good though ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 22
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If you’re having an outdoor ceremony in the summer (or an indoor ceremony that’s not air conditioned), by all means, have DRINKS – even plain ol’ water! – waiting for your BMs at the reception venue!

I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a friend’s wedding, and after a 30-minute ceremony and 20 minutes of pictures in an un-air conditioned church, plus standing in the reception line for 20 minutes in the full sun, in June… all of us were dying of thirst when we got to the reception venue. We begged random people (we were trapped at the head table) to bring us something to drink, and the bride’s father finally brought us sodas.

Post # 23
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Oh lord girls I’ve been in so many weddings I could write a book on what not to do as a bride. I can gladly say when my time comes:

I will not freak out over EVERY little detail.

I will not get jealous when one of my friends gets engaged after me (“stealing my thunder”)

I will not talk about my wedding ALL the time, only when someone askes and wants to hear about it.

I will ask my BMs (if I even have them) what they would like to wear. And I will try to help them pay for it.

I will not get not one set, not two, but THREE sets of engagement pictures…

I will not make the bridal party (again, if we even have one) sit at a head table.

I will not have 5 hours between the ceremony and the reception.

I will not expect a over the top (i.e destination) bach. party AND expect my BMs to pay for it.

Basically, I will not be a bridezilla!!

Have a great day bees =)

 

 

Post # 24
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Those bridal shows and the overly pushy vendors are annoying. However, in my opinion, it’s well worth it to go to a few. I went just for the experience and wound up winning the grand prize honeymoon to Jamaica! Totally worth a few hours of my time and having to listen to a bunch of aggressive sales pitches…. And that wasn’t the only amazing giveaway.

Post # 25
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I will not say a wedding is NOT a big deal and then have a wedding with two receptions in one day. 

I will not choose bridesmaids gowns from David’s Bridal… that look like a red hatter costume, and need so many alterations that I could have purchased a Designer gown for the price of the alterations!  (SERIOUSLY) 

I will not give someone the job of being the almost bridesmaid/moh…  My friend decided to have a little wedding, I was in fact the defacto bridesmaid/moh with her sister being the standing Matron of honor.  She wanted to control what I wore, and what I did, but forgot that she wasn’t really honoring me as a bridesmaid.  (She also wanted me to do the job of a wedding planner.)

These weddings made me realize that the bride who says Weddings aren’t a big deal…. are also probably the biggest bridezillas…  (If you are just having a little simple wedding and it’s truly no big deal… then sorry, but in my experience, my two friends who both made this statement were probably the worst zillas because they didn’t do any research… and wanted everything THEIR WAY ignoring their family, the groom’s family, and their guests. 

I will remember that a wedding is about more than just me.  It’s about two people and two families becoming one.  I will remember that guests are honoring my wedding with their presence, and will be sure to demonstrate that this gift is fully appreciated! 

I will not create a situation that my bridesmaids must spend hours decorating for the celebration and then cleaning up afterward.  (Decorating is the fun part… so if you need help… it’s okay to ask for help in the decorations, but it is totally not fun to find yourself cleaning up the reception, and just so you know… you shouldn’t plan on being involved in the clean up as well… because it makes people get the guilts about not helping!)

Post # 26
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

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@littlemissmoo: I love this line, “It always feels like you can’t go say hi to them because it’s Fort Knox.”

Post # 27
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

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@pinkrokker: Oh, yes, I entered many of the contests at the bridal shows! I should have used the email address we created for the wedding instead of my personal one but…that was just a slip up in the confusion/excitment of the brdial show.

I appreciated getting closer to some of the vendors I was already lookig at and some new ones, but for me, I want to know all of the vendors I could possibly consider and then narrow it down. I can’t get myself to book a photographer/caterer/whatever on the sport at a show because they are giving a 50% discount!

Money mouth

I did enjoy meeting the people at the company that specialized in bow ties! Who knew there was so much to bow ties? Plus, the guy at the book looked so dapper in his outfit! haha

Post # 28
Member
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

What I learned being bridesmaids and guests: NOBODY cares about your wedding as much as you and Fiance do.

Having learned this I decided I wouldn’t freak out about centerpieces, colors, random traditions, my dress, my weight, my shoes, gifts, BMs who have busy lives, and so forth.

 

Post # 29
Member
6244 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

My cousin got married this past weekend. The groom’s mom & stepdad (whom the groom is very close to) ended up having to eat dinner at a random table of “extras and singles” at the back of the room because someone screwed up the seating arrangements. Awkward.

The wait staff cleared all traces of water from the tables hours before the reception ended. This was a dangerous move, considering there was an open bar.

Post # 30
Member
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

8x’s a bridesmaid and this is what I learned:

Remember what it looked and felt like at the end of the party: the stained tablecloths, the crumpled up place cards, the drooping centerpieces, the canned musak…Remember all that whenever you start to freak out about the little things because it really doesn’t matter.

Post # 31
Member
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I actually enjoyed helping plan my cousin’s wedding a couple years ago. The bridal fairs kinda suck but that is expected when you have sales people and it’s crowded. Planning my cousin’s helped me know which vendors where good and we used a majority of them again for our wedding last month. 

But yes like many of you pointed out above- when planning a wedding you need to be considerate of your guests and bridal party. That is one of the most important things about planning- think from a guest’s perspective! 

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