(Closed) Things My Mama Never Told Me: “Joys” of Pregnancy

posted 11 years ago in Babies
Post # 107
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I know this is an old thread, but I’m newly pregnant and I think this stuff is important… BUMP!

Post # 108
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Only three weeks so far, but I’m so tired, my boobs are so sore, and I’ve got gas really really bad!

Post # 109
64 posts
Worker bee

A little over 10 weeks and here are some of the lovely things I’ve been experiencing:

1. Nausea. UGH. Thank god I haven’t actually thrown up but I’ve been pretty close lately. I almost had to run out of the grocery store today bc I thought I was going to be sick.

2. CRAZY dreams every night!! They have been really cool though so I’m not really complaining.

3. Gas. Worse than I have ever experienced or ever expected it to be. Oh my poor husband! So glad he has a sense of humor.

4. Excess spit….which in turn adds to the nausea.

5. Discharge like no other.

6.  I feel like my nipples are going to fall off they hurt so bad!!

7. I’m early in my pregnancy and I already can’t fit into any of my jeans! All my shirts are fine but jeans or pants forget it. I ordered a pair of maternity jeans a few days ago and can’t wait to wear them and be comfortable.

8. Intense food aversions. The thought of Greek or Thai food makes me gag.

9. My sense of smell is so much stronger!! Not always a good thing…

I know it’s all worth it though!! Can’t wait to finally hit the second trimester when I hear a lot of symptoms subside…

Post # 110
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Our home and the two acres it sits on

I didn’t get sick immediately, as I’d always expected I would (low-dose BC made me miserably nauseous).  I also never expected the heartburn or indigestion – very surprising.

But the biggest surprise is that puking isn’t really that bad.  Who knew you could get used to puking?  That said, once I figured out I could skip the gagging if I was asleep (or generally in bed, not moving) before 10, I did that, so it’s not like I liked puking, just that it’s possible to get used to it.

Also: many (most?) women who say they loved being pregnant will follow up with “well, once I got past the first trimester” if pressed.  So, that helped when I was feeling really sorry about myself.

Another thing: the Pregnant Me is very different than the Regular Me, most especially in eating habits.

Oh, and yes, boobs can get that big. AARGH.

Post # 111
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2000

1. Laughing a lot, with a baby on the bladder can make you pee yourself… a lot.

2. Crazy pregnancy dreams with a capital C.

3. Big boobs are sweaty, very uncomfortable and not fun if you are not used to them.

4. U will be hot. Hotter than everyone else. (body temperature at night, in the car, at work, anywhere)

5. It’s so heavy…..soooo heavy. No, really really heavy.

6. Random worries followed by a desperate but unproductive Google search for reassurance.

7. People start speaking in cliches and say the same things to you over and over again. “Can’t wait to meet her!”

8.  Everyday, you’ll  want to stay at home AND at the same time you can’t stand staying at home all the time.

9.  You walk very, very slow. Slower than your 90 year old grandma.

10. Skin: itchy, got tons of skin tags and beauty marks darkened–hello, Cindy Crawford makeover.

Post # 112
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Our home and the two acres it sits on

Oh, I have to add this: until I was pregnant, I didn’t realize all the weight gain wasn’t the baby.  Had I thought about it and, um, done math, sure, I could have figured it out.

So when my husband read one of those weekly updates that said the kid was only an inch long, he asked (clearly not the most diplomatic man!), “So, all the growing in your midsection is just fat?”


So I had to explain I’d gained a couple of pounds of blood (your blood volume DOUBLES in the first couple of months, is that crazy?) and uterus and placenta (hello, an organ I didn’t have before!).  Also, for future reference, to never not even ONE SINGLE TIME say anything that MIGHT sound douch-y about my weight. Or size.  Or swelling boobs.

In fact, per someone’s suggestion on another thread here, I suggested he end every stunned and awed exclamation with, “AND THAT IS SO WONDERFULLY AWESOME!”

“Your boobs can get that huge?… AND THAT IS SO AWESOME.”

We’re still working on that.

Oh, and Twister. For the first two weeks I knew I was pregnant (so, weeks 5 – 7-ish), I wanted to play all the time.  Then nausea and the super sniffer hit and I could barely stand the smell of him.  Um, still kind of can’t, though I try to hide it.

Seriously, his breath made me gag.  His skin smell grossed me out.  His hair smell (shampoo) was overwhelming and gross.  If he inhaled a whiff of booze, I’d have him sleep upwind (we have a fan in our room).

I can still barely stand the smell of the (not really that stinky) dogs.  Am embarassed that I dragged my dog to TWO vets, convinced something was rotting in his mouth. Moved the dog and cat food stations as far away from myself as I could manage, and basically hid out in our bedroom for most evenings for three weeks.

Greasy food and that kind of stuff I could smell and be fine, but my (normally good-smelling) husband and dogs?  Couldn’t hardly stand them.

Ah, the super sniffer.  In other news, I could hire myself out as a bloodhound.

Post # 113
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park

Wow, I’m also one for:

• Extreme cramping. Painful twitches when I laugh or cough (apparently it’s round-ligament stretching?) and awful agonizing spasms after sex. They only last a few seconds, but they’re horrible enough to avoid the bedroom at all costs. Otherwise it feels a lot like period cramping, just less intense. It’s still uncomfortable, though. As well as nerve-wracking.

• Ridiculous fatigue. My house is disguisting, and I NEVER let it get that way. Dishes rotting in the sink, food left on the stove for days, nasty dog hair covered floors, and worse. And though I genuinely want to clean it, it took me the better part of an hour just to pick up one room. Not clean it, pick it up! I clock in over 12 hours of sleep a day, and barely scrounge up enough energy to walk up a flight of stairs or drive to the store. I’m so ready for week 14 when that placenta is done and I’m back to being energized!

• Joint pain. All over. My elbows and hips especially. Oh, and the random crap that falls asleep randomly, like my shoulders and hips. It’s horrible to wake up at night to that numb, tingly feeling all over.

• Bad sleep quality. Though I have tons of it, I wake up every 15 minutes, it feels like. Or I’ll shut my eyes and wake up 2 hours later and not feel refreshed at all. Getting out of bed is now a 20 minute process. I used to just jump and go! Now my fitful sleep has me dying for the restful days of the past.

I’ve been blessed with just a slight bit of nausea (no vomiting, yes!), dizziness, and smell sensitivity (to beer and liquor mostly, it’s horrendous). No cravings, or hunger pangs. I’m actually having a hard time finding my appetite and gaining weight. I’ll be lucky to put on 5 pounds this first trimester. I’m literally so exhausted that I don’t even want to think about getting up to find something to eat, which is horrible.

Post # 114
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park

After reading a few more, I guess I need to add:

• excess spit (i.e. tons of drooly pillows)
• Mega sore boobs and tender nipples. They’ve also upgraded from 32A to 34B, which is enthusiastically welcomed.
• Mood swings. I get really irritated over little things, and cry a whole lot for no reason at all. I also like to get all depressed in my bathtub (not that depressed, I just get sad and read books for an hour or so in the hot water)
• Bloating. boo.
• HEADACHES! Nearly every day. Nothing major, just irritating.
• Chicken now makes me very ill. Not pukey ill, but my entire digestive system revolts. Which is sad, since I can’t really get excited about red meat these days. All these crazy food aversions! No cravings though, sadly enough.

I think that’s enough for now. This is just one crazy ride, and I’m super happy to be on it! I’m just ready to start “feeling pregnant”, instead of just sick.

Post # 115
4136 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

wow this thread really helped temper my baby fever! maybe i should check back every once in awhile when it comes back…

Post # 116
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

Cooterrhoids. (i.e. hemorrhoids but in the vicinity of your lady parts)

My kid better find me a REAL nice nursing home one day after this experience.

Post # 117
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I actually wrote a blog post about it – 10 things I never knew until getting pregnant

1) Every book you read will totally gloss over your symptoms.  If you’re ever preparing to get pregnant and are trying to get a good idea of what you’ll experience, take the symptom you’ve felt and multiply it by ten.  Your boobs aren’t just sore…they hurt so much that even taking a shower can be an excruciating experience.  The heartburn will not be just a little acid reflux,  you will be hovering over the toilet begging god to take you out of your misery.

2) Your boobs will be the most fascinating and horrifying thing you’ve ever seen.  And they’ll change quicker than you expect them to.  You dont think your boobs get big and fill up until the end?  Yeah after they go through the “feels like a billion needles are ripping through my aureolas” phase, they get bigger, they get darker, they play optical illusions on you.  Words I’ve used to describe my boobs to close friends and family?  Cupcakes.  Volcanoes.  National Geographic.  Word for the wise, if you want to feel great about your boobs, go into a pool.  You’ll feel like a porn star.

3) You will discuss things openly that you never thought you’d even read without blushing.  Things that I have said in casual conversations:

  • “Guess what honey?  You’re not the only one that will be ejaculating anymore once I start breastfeeding.”
  • “The mucus.  My god, the mucus”
  •  ”Good news, my placenta has moved up on its own!”
  • “My uterus is popping out”
  •  ”The doctor didn’t even ask me to take my pants off this time.  Jerk”

4) When you are 6or7or8months pregnant, you will always always wish that you would’ve lost 10 lbs before you got pregnant.  If you have stairs, you wish you would’ve lost 20 lbs.

5) Every 1 out of 3 times you walk by the mirror, you will be horrified by what you see.  This can be for a variety of reasons.  You will at some point think your baby bump is too small.  Then you will think your baby bump is too big.  You will think that your boobs  deserve their own moon they’re so large, and you’re shocked that nothing is orbiting around them.  You will be upset that your hair is two different tones because you can’t dye it.  You will just wonder why the hell you didn’t take 15 minutes to look presentable that day.  You will think “what the hell happened to me?”  And then you’ll walk by the mirror again and think you look like hot shit.  It is the nature of the beast.

6) You will think that your baby bump is bigger and more disfigured than every other pregnant girls baby bump.  I wanted a round baby bump, I got sort of a two humped camel baby bump.  If I say this to a normal person, they look at me like I have lost my mind.  So its better to keep quiet about this.  And you will think you look HUGE, but it turns out that you look like a <fill in the blank number of months you’re pregnant> pregnant lady.

7)  Don’t try any new sex positions after the 5th or 6th month of pregnancy.  You’re not as bendy as you think you are.  And you get cramps way more easily.  Lets just leave it at that.

You will be so much more in tune with your body which leads to an ailment I like to call “excessive googling”.  This can be both a good and a bad thing.  I found out that my round ligament pain (starting at about 12 weeks pregnant) was totally normal.  But the things that I wouldve dismissed as just a “stomach ache”, I’ve tried to turn into contractions, urinary tract infections, listeria and other such things.  The key?   Wait 8 hours and if you don’t feel any better or feel worse, call the doctor

9) You won’t “just know”.  There’s this myth that all pregnant or former pregnant ladies or doctors say that “you’ll just know”.  You’ll just know when you’re pregnant (umm you have a much better feeling about it after you pee on a stick with a positive sign).  You’ll just know when the baby kicks for the first time (yeah I was sorta sure, but it really took me 2-3 weeks of it happening to be completely sure.  You can look back at it and know.).  YOu’ll just know when you’re in labor.  I don’t think that when I have the first contraction that I’ll just know that this is it.  This is why they have false labors.  Those people didn’t know.  See, I’m not an idiot.  Then again, I was never one that put on the wedding dress and just knew it was my wedding dress.  And I didn’t know the first time I met Doug that he would be my future husband.  Maybe I just have bad intuition?  Anyway, don’t think you’ll just know. 

10) You’ll forget this all after you have the baby.  Yes, pregnancy amnesia.  Doug has had to remind me several times how horrible my heartburn was in the first trimester.  And I’ll soon forget how easy the second trimester was for me.  And after I have the baby I will magically say its worth it and I want to have a dozen kids and act like pregnancy is tied neck and neck with “winning the lottery”.  Wouldn’t I like to know?

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