(Closed) Things overdone online/in magazines you have never seen in real life?

posted 11 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 17
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Ember78: My mom grew up in the Baptist Mid-West and every wedding she attended as a kid consisted of a ceremony in the chapel and then cake and punch in the basement.

Post # 18
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have also never been to a wedding with no alcohol although I wouldn’t be mad if I went to one. I have been to weddings where I buy my own alcohol which also doesn’t bother me at all.

 

Things that seem overdone but I have never seen: I also agree with the damask and the candy buffet. They seem EVERYWHERE but I have never seen one in real life. interesting.

Also, no one I know has done a destination wedding but they seem really big right now too.

Post # 19
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@MandaMack: i thought the same thing!!  WHO has never been to a wedding without a dinner or bar??  I am just as incredulous as you are.  

View original reply
@Ember78: i am so surprised you haven’t seen those things!  i mean, that’s normal.  99 times out of 100 a wedding is in the evening with a dinner and dancing reception and ALWAYS with a bar.  out of the 30 or so weddings ive been to i have never been to a dry one but yes, that is something that people generally moan about, and i can’t say i blame them.  but i am with you about charging guests for something the couple can’t afford, which, ironically, is always the bar!  never heard of it being done for anything else… but wow that is the biggest faux pas.  its SO tacky!  luckily i have never seen it done tho, there would have been a boycott!

as for things on your list that I did: out of town baskets, day after brunch, candy buffet, alcohol and dinner of course, the introduction of the couple at the reception (another very standard practice, but its also when the wedding party is introduced as well which does not happen at the ceremony), receiving cash gifts.  getting cash is great!  of course you can use it to fill out the registry, but you can use it for other things too.  we used ours to get a new bedroom set!  i have also seen all these things at other weddings, with the exception of the candy buffet.  i was the first in our circle to do that πŸ™‚  we have also been to a few weddings when they had a small ceremony with just family but a larger reception with everyone else they know.  

Post # 21
Member
978 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Kemi82Justice of the Peace: like, im in awe, lol.  fh and i are debating whether or not the op was exagerating…he is insisting she must be whereas i dont know why anyone would start a post just to exagerate…his only other explanation is a specific religious affiliation or theyve only been to like one wedding…

Post # 22
Member
978 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i guess my other issue is that youre saying weddings with a dinner are overdone…i dont think overdone is the right word for this post…

Post # 23
Member
978 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Ember78:…and i wasnt being rhetorical when asking where youre from…this is seriously intriguing to me…if youd rather pm me, go for it, i just havenever heard of a place where no one serves dinner at a wedding…

Post # 24
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I used to be in wedding videography, and I’ve seen all of the ones listed below: mini ceremonies, candy buffets, reception dresses, out of town baskets, day after brunches, alcohol at receptions, full dinner any time of the day/night, being introduced at the beginning of the reception when the same introduction is used at the end of the ceremony, charging guests (I only disliked this if it included sodas.), and cash gifts

I have been to two weddings where there was no alcohol or dancing and nobody complained, mine not being included. These were both weddings that took place in a church, where it’s not allowed.

I personally had a different dress for the reception. However, my dress was not that expensive, and I didn’t want to wear it outside for the entire reception. I’m known for spilling food on white clothes, even when I’m careful. We also only received cash gifts at the wedding. My in-laws didn’t know that we had a registry. We also had a dry wedding.

Post # 25
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - MacLean Park

@zippylef: Ohh, mustaches. I’m not a big fan, they seem pretty odd to me. That’s one etsy trend I missed the boat on.

View original reply
@Ember78: I’m with ya! I’ve only been to ONE wedding with alcohol, out of maybe 7. I’m in Texas, most of them are Southern Baptist and do not believe in serving alcohol. And I’ve been to the dessert reception as well, a “cake and punch” with visiting. Seems it’s getting a bit snarky around here, when I know exactly what you mean. There have been several with full dinners, but I can tell ya right now the dancing was slim at all the ones without liquor.

The cash gifts also seem a little more rare in this neck of the woods, registry gifts at traditional church showers are still very popular. Though I’ve seen quite a few sand ceremonies and unity candles. I think it’s just a Bible Belt thing to have dry weddings and short receptions. Or maybe it’s just that I’m still in the college age bracket and we’re all poor!

Post # 26
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

OK, not to derail this thread, but I keep hearing the absolute shock from people who have never heard of a dry wedding, and the first thing that pops into my mind is that y’all must be fairly young and/or not from the South. And that’s absolutely not meant in a snarky way at all! πŸ™‚ It just reminds me of the time I told my 7 year-old daughter that we didn’t have cell phones and iPods when I was her age and she looked at me like I was from a different planet. πŸ™‚

The OP was not exaggerating about dry weddings, and it’s really not something that should blow your mind that much. No one in my family had ever had a wedding reception with alcohol until I got married the first time. (That was 10 years ago.) Same for the sit-down dinner. It just wasn’t THAT common to have a sit-down dinner with a bar. Most weddings, as someone else posted, were at a church with a reception in the church’s Great Hall, with punch and cake and cheese straws and buttermints. And…brace yourself…no one minded! πŸ™‚ The reception wasn’t about gettin’ your drink on. (The churches kind of frowned upon that. πŸ˜‰ )

But trends are changing and it IS more common to have a dinner and bar, even in the South. And that’s why I think many of the posters here just haven’t had much experience with the way they used to be done. (I, for one, love a dinner reception! My Fiance and I are definitely doing a cocktail hour, champagne toast (love the bubbly!), and plated dinner.)

Post # 27
Member
608 posts
Busy bee

I agree that the original poster seemed to be just commenting on some things that she has read about frequently and yet has never ever seen in real life.  I have a feeling that she’s been to enough weddings that her list is a little amazing in some ways, and not at all surprising in others. 

I’ve gone to quite a few weddings in my lifetime with a wide variety of differences shown within the different weddings that I have gone too…

Things that I think are fairly common include….candle ceremonies, day after family brunches and small gifts of comfort for the out of town guests. 

She mentioned a dessert bar, but I’m more familiar with a Cookie table.  Tons of homemade cookies baked with tradition and love!

I don’t know any brides who have decided to wear a reception gown. Normally they are partying until after midnight in their gown!  By partying… I mean that they are just dancing and celebrating the big event.  (Alcohol may or may not be served!)

 

Post # 28
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

oo ive never heards of a dessert reception! that sounds like an amazing sugar high! we are having a late ceremony (about 6 pm) and i think it would be nice to have just dessert but he keeps insisting on real food…

Post # 29
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m definitely not “very young” so I’m going to assume that it’s probably far more common in the South to not have alcohol at weddings. I would be very surprised to attend a wedding around my area that didn’t have alcohol. I think we’ve all been around enough to recognize that there are things that are very, very “regionally common”. I don’t think any of the comments were snarky as much as posters were surprised that something that is super super common almost everywhere was identified as being some sort of “mythological, overdone wedding trend”.

Post # 30
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

is that a southern tradition?  hmmm… Kentucky must not be included in that since that’s where the majority of the weddings I have been to were held and they were all great parties!  and i would consider KY part of the south, I am from OH.  but i also wanted to add that we did the sand ceremony and we have seen that as well as the candle ceremony many times.  i wouldn’t say those are overdone tho, the candle ceremony is fairly traditional i think, it’s always done in a church.  the sand is just a more recent interpretation since it gives the couple a momento they can keep for years.  although our sand vase was tipped on it’s side by a certain Mother-In-Law who apparently missed the entire point of the thing.  she was packing it up for me (which was nice) but in the process mixed all the sand up πŸ™  so now the pattern that was created at our wedding ceremony (what we were supposed to keep and cherish) is no longer there.  i still have an internal conflict over this.  

Post # 31
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@azureori: Where Im from its Cash gifts for the wedding and registry for the other partys… and the amount that is expected is astronomical!  

Its interesting to see the  difference among geographical locations.. .I grew up in Upstate New York and the gross difference between weddings up there and weddings on Long Island where I live know is almost shocking…. theres a certain expectation or standard to uphold… it just depends on what the standards are for your area

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