Post # 1
I recently told most of my family and friends about my engagement. A few things automatically assumed along with unsolicited advice on vendors and venues and the like were…that I was having a church wedding….that I was going the whole nine yards with a big wedding…and fancy decor and expensive photographer etc etc etc…..and finally ..what THEY would be wearing when they get invited. Lol. I find it amazing. I’m actually having immediate family only at my wedding with one or two friends (it will not be more than 15 people).. And….it’s not going to be in a church. This is going to be fun! Were there any assumptions on your end?
This topic was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by .
Post # 2
That its a big party where everyone is invited, and they assume that they’re automatically invited!
“It will be great to see Coworker 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 & 7 there! Oh but you know if you invite 7, you just invite 8, 9 & 10!!!”
Post # 3
One man who I had to talk to about booking the venue assumed that I was pregnant, and told me that if I was I couldn’t use the venue because they couldn’t have pictures of a pregnant bride out there. For the record, I was a virgin and DH and I waited for our wedding. That man went on to do and say other things I probably should have sued him for.
Post # 4
That we would be living together after the wedding. We don’t live together because that is our preference and what works best for our family, not because we were waiting for marriage!
Post # 5
I also got the pregnant bride routine because we are mid-late 30s. Nowhere near as bad as the *%#I tigerlily dealt with….
Not in relation to getting engaged, but when I left a job last fall when my contract ended, they made sexist comments about women leaving jobs to plan weddings….. how about I left because they were awful and I didn’t want to continue to work with them?
Post # 6
Not at the engagement announcement but towards the end: I was so stressed out the week before my wedding I started literally dry heaving Wednesday night and had to call into work on Thursday. There were some cold feet comments, which were in complete fun… But there were also some pregnancy comments. All I could do was roll my eyes.
Now after the wedding, when I’m exhausted or say something about my stomach being upset, I get the side eye and knowing smiles from coworkers.
Post # 7
…that they’re invited.
…that you’re going to change your name.
…that you want to hear their dumb opinions about where/how/when you should get married.
…that they’re invited.
Post # 8
I think the main assumptions that were made after we announced our engagement were…
– That certain people would be invited or wouldn’t be invited (our wider group of friends, many of whom we only see on occasion, assumed they would all be invited – we’re only inviting around 15, which includes their SOs – and my dad assumed that we would only invite his parents when we also plan to invite my aunts/uncles/cousins).
– That my FSILs would be bridesmaids. I have 2 sisters of my own and my Fiance has 3 sisters, which is more attendants than I really wanted to have. I’ve asked both of my sisters but only 1 of my FSILs (the other 2 were fine with it – they actually didn’t expect to be asked, it was extended family assuming that they would be).
I’m sure there were more, but these were the first to spring to mind.
Post # 9
The #1 assumption is that you have a engagement ring! I didn’t for the first few months (we chose one together).
The #2 assumption is that you want to share the ‘proposal story’. (I got used to sharing mine after a few goes) but at first it took me by surprise that people who weren’t very close to you wanted to know all the details! (I downplayed it the first few times because it seemed so gushy and personal, but I got used to telling a ‘version’ of it after a few tries!)
Post # 11
Assumption 1.) We got engaged because we must be pregnant.
Assumption 2.) We’re engaged because we must want kids immediately after the wedding.
By the way….why is a proposal automatically linked to pregnancy ONLY. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’ll love the day when we start having children…but that’s not my only purpose in life nor the sole purpose for getting engaged.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
That we’d be getting married soon after getting engaged. We’re waiting two years for a variety of reasons.
That we’d have a bridal party. I’m still waiting for my mother to stop bringing the issue up because it’s just not happening. Neither one of us want one.
That we’ll have any kind of engagement party, bachelorette party, or bridal shower. Again, it’s just not happening. (FI is free to have a bachelor party if he wants)
That there’s a proposal story to share. We had several conversations about the future and mutually decided to become engaged the night we picked a wedding date. Not terribly romantic but it suited us.
Post # 13
That I would suddenly care about all the “tiny” details, like if a bow is tied to the left, or right. Or, if the knives should have scrolls or engraving.
Post # 14
my Fiance and I have been together for almost a decade and do not live together. People keep asking us if we are planning to live together since getting engaged or after the wedding. We aren’t.
Post # 15
Yeah that didn’t explain anything.