- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Have you guys seen this Honda CRV commercial? I feel a little silly posting it here, but I thought it was interesting.
Basically, a man asks a woman about marriage and she turns to the camera and says, “There were so many things I was going to do first.” I saw this last night and it hit right on what I’ve been feeling lately. I know my boyfriend has the ring, I know a proposal is in my future, but I almost feel like I’m not ready. There are so many things I wanted to have done first. I’m 28, I’ve traveled around the world, gotten my Master’s degree, lived on my own in a foreign country for two years, found a job in the town I wanted to live in (for now), and finally met the man of my dreams. It doesn’t feel like there’s anything left to do, but a proposal means moving on to the next stage of your life, whether you are ready or not.
Right now it’s fun to browse Wedding Bee, Pinterest, and Style Me Pretty and ogle the pretty weddings and save a few inspirational images because there’s no pressure. After being engaged the race is on to locate and secure the perfect vendors before someone else snags them on your date. There’s the questions from coworkers and friends. Family will want the details. Then after marriage people expect you start a family, and for us, even though we are older, I think that is many years off. Engagement opens the doors to a whole new world of situations and societal pressures.
I think my boyfriend noticed I was being a little quiet lately, that something was on my mind. He asked and I took a risk and spoke up about my feelings. I didn’t want to worry him into thinking I didn’t want to be with him or that I didn’t want to get engaged, because that is absolutely not the issue. The issue is everything else. But of course, my boyfriend settled my nerves, told me we can do everything in our own time, that being engaged is different for each couple. We will do this our way. I knew this all along, but sometimes you just need to hear it from someone you care about for it to sink in.
I like how at the end of the commercial the woman says, “Okay, but we have a lot to get done first.” It’s not just things I want to accomplish, but things we are going to accomplish together. Even though I’m an incredibly independent person, I’m okay with that. I’ve done a lot of my own already and I’m ready to share those things with someone else now.
Does anyone here have a pre-proposal “leap list”? A list of things you would like to have done before getting engaged? Or before getting married?