Post # 1
Hey there bees! While I’m sitting here somewhat-patiently waiting for my proposal, I started thinking about areas where I know SO and I will clash once we “officially” start wedding planning. I was wondering if anyone else already knows what the touchy subjects will be when the time comes to plan!
For me and SO, it will definitely be venue and guest list. I would love a small, rustic-themed wedding with less than 75 people. Think outdoor ceremony and a charming, down-home barn reception. SO wants a formal, expensive castle-type venue and the big party — lots of people — the works! As far as guest list, I think weddings are so personal. It’s something I would share with close family and good friends, not every person who happens to share a bloodline with me or who I had one conversation with two years ago at work. I can sort of understand him wanting a larger wedding because his family is much larger than mine, but he has relatives that he hasn’t spoken to in years that I know he or his mom will insist on inviting.
Oh, jeez, his mother… she’s going to be so fun to deal with once we start planning! 😛
What about you, bees? What will be the cause of your planning disagreements?
Post # 3
My SO and I both want a semi-small wedding of about 100 to 150 people. I don’t think we’ll clash too much about the wedding itself but I think we’re going to clash about the engagement celebration. By the time he proposes, we’d have been dating for 5 years–as you can imagine when it finally happens, I’m going to be looking forward to celebrating our engagement with our friends and family at an e-party. I know he feels uncomfortable about this type of celebrtation–he thinks the only celebration should be the wedding itself. I think after my long wait, I deserve an e-party so he’s going to have to grin and bare it 🙂
Post # 4
Other than getting a ring on my finger?
I knew we were going to argue about guest list since his family is so much larger.
My mother gifted us money that could be used for anything when we were engaged. A wedding, down payment, heck, even scratch tickets.
She says she wont do that with her other kids because it caused a lot of problems for us. Since it was “our money” his family was the majority of the wedding and traditionally his mom would have had to pay some money for the wedding or they would have had to cut their list somehow. His list was 70% of the wedding guest total.
Post # 5
We know we both want a small destination wedding, the only problem is where! I know that we will probably clash a little when we are planning the at home reception for our return!
Post # 6
Budget. We have to contend with immigration and his move, as well as our usual expenses. So budget will be the big issue
Post # 7
You sound almost exactly like me! Only he doesn’t know or understand the cost of a wedding. (He wants to spend only 1500 but wants 70 people with great food and free booze). And his mom is not going to be fun to deal with but its our wedding and I’ll get what I want! 🙂
I also think season will be a conflict but he knows me and what I want.
Post # 8
@HeyKaraoke: My bf (how long do i have to call him that?!? lol) and i have mostly similar taste… he’s also along the lines of the “i like what you like” stance… but one thing he thinks is weird is that my mother wants to join my father in walking me down the aisle. My mom is like my older twin, and we’ve grown very close during/after college, and mostly raised me. My dad always worked late so my mother was always around doing most of hte parenting. my bf thinks it should be the father only… if my mom wants that she will get it! i know he won’t argue with me about it… but he just says it’s weird.
Post # 9
The budget.. I want to have a simpler, thrifty kind of wedding so it doesn’t add up in costs to much for us later. He wants a bigger do, which I don’t think we will be able to provide for a good few years.
I literally want to get married, have my close family and friends there and have a fantastic time (which I will regardless of what we do)
He wants the full works that has been drilled into our heads through family expectations and media!
Post # 10
@spaneshal: me too!
At least the part about having it small, with the people who are closest to us in attendance.
And SO technically doesn’t disagree. But he DOES want a ginormous wedding party (in comparison to the wedding). 5 best men (not groomsmen. best men.), and he wants me to have 5 attendants to match, with the walking up and down the aisle.
Our preliminary list is only 25 people long, so that’s… 15 guests sitting, with 10 by our sides?
It’s sounds ridiculous just to think of it!
I tried to compromise by having 3 of the best men sitting up front, then I could have only 2 bridesmaids walk down the aisle and stand next to me to match his 2 standing. But then he’s all “but they will be uneven walking back down the aisle”.
I wonder if this is his sneaky way to add more to the guest list just to make the wedding party look an appropriate size.
Post # 11
We’ve already argued about one thing: whether or not to have a wedding! My family doesn’t do weddings or big parties at all, really. We also have a lot of family drama and stuff, so I’d be worried about inviting certain combinations of relatives. I’d be extremely happy just putting on a white sundress and going to a court house, followed by a fancy dinner with both sets of parents. That’s it. But his family is super super close and they get together for everything, he thinks they’d be offended if we had a private ceremony.
Post # 12
Our parents. My mother is frustrating and needy and most likely going to hate most of the decisions I make or complain because she isn’t involved enough. My dad is an overbearing pain in the ass who we can barely stand. His mom and dad are going to have very specific ways of doing things and I think they are going to have a hard time coming around to anything other than tradition.
Post # 13
I think we may have an issue with they kind of wedding we have. I know he (and all our family) want a more traditional wedding, like having it at a church and all that. I would rather just go to Vegas or something with just our parents and just get married. I don’t know why I argue when it will be everyone against me and I will lose on this one. Oh well, I’ve already told my mom straight out that since she wants this whole thing, she can plan it lol Seriously though, I just wnat something kind of small and quick, not hing fancy at all.
Post # 14
@wishingonadream04: I’m with ya there! I’ll probably loose the big wedding battle, too, since I’m an only child/will probably be the first grandchild on EITHER side to get married. Everyone just wants there to BE one and I’m their only chance!
Post # 15
We are staring to plan our wedding after he’s placed an order for the e-ring and there has been a few things we’ve disagreed on.
#1 The Wedding Dress:
I refuse to spend more than 1k on a wedding dress because I’m short and small. I have no intention or reselling it or giving it to anyone. I also can’t justify the cost of the dress for something I won’t wear again after the wedding. My ideal dress is around $300 and I want to take ‘trash the dress’ pictures afterwards on our honeymoon.
He says I’m being cheap since it’s a once in a lifetime experience and I should just go for the designer dresses I’ve looked at.
#2 The Reception:
I have no one I’d like to invite to our wedding except part of my immediate family and my uncle and his wife. It’s not that I don’t have a big family. I just don’t like most of them and I don’t care to see them. Natually, I could care less about having a reception party.
He has a large family mostly located in Hawaii and tons of friends that would never believe he’s ever going to get married. The reception is a big deal to him.
Post # 16
@UsagiTsukino: I’m also an only child but not the first grandchild to get married. As an only child, I guess it’s our “duty” to do it since it’s the only chance they will get to have the whole wedding experience.