Things you loved/hated about being a bridesmaid (trying to be a good bride :) )

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 61
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

maabride :  I like threads like these because my bridesmaids are my best girls, and I want them to have a good time, too. Ffrom my own experience, here are my best and worst…

Best: Bride had snacks and sandwich trays in the dressing room. People always talk about how the bride and groom rarely have time to eat. The same applies to the wedding party, particularly honor attendants. The snacks and bottled water was very thoughtful. 

Worst: Not discussing budget with Maid/Matron of Honor for bachelorette party. Bride and Maid/Matron of Honor were from wealthy families. Most of her bridesmaids were on tight budgets. The Maid/Matron of Honor found a great deal for a spa/resort weekend, but she still wanted all of us to contribute $500 (not including outfits and transportation). Two of us ended up having to miss the party because we couldn’t afford to go.  

Post # 62
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

Best part: Feeling honored to be chosen as a bm! Seeing a dear friend exchange vows, smiling for pictures, being part of a special day, etc.

Worst part: $270 bridesmaid dress, $300 plane ticket to Vegas for bachelorette party, $$$ spent in Vegas, HAVING to pay for my own hair/makeup despite being able to do my own, etc. Most of the ‘worst parts’ were the (rather pricey!) expenses and at that time I was a struggling college student.

As a bride, I paid for my girls’ bridesmaid dresses (if they needed alterations, they took care of it themselves), My mom took care of the bachelorette winery tour, Mother-In-Law paid for the hotel stay before the wedding. I think their only expense was if they wanted hair/makeup done, they had to pay for it themselves. 

Post # 63
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m surprised that head tables are as polarizing as they appear to be on here. I also didn’t think that wanting the bridesmaids to wear the same dress was that frowned upon. I thought both things were pretty standard practices.

Oh well. I will be having a head table, and my bridesmaids will be wearing the same dress. They’ll live.

Post # 64
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 

ittybittyrayne :  I wouldn’t say that it is the worst to have to wear the same dress but for those of us who aren’t a size 2 or 6 it can just feel really crappy when everyone else looks awesome in some slinky pale pink strapless dress and you feel like a stuffed sausage… again just depends on your girls. So if everyone is a small/medium then pick your favorite dress and go with it but if you know that you have someone who is plus or has other body issues (really big boobs and can’t wear strapless, some modesty issues and don’t want clevage etc) then it would be much nicer to not force them into a dress that they hate just cause you are the bride….

I think that most brides want their friends to be happy and smiling and feeling good not feeling like a giant idiot that everyone is staring at and talking trash about 

Post # 65
Member
1210 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’ve only been a Bridesmaid or Best Man for two cousins so far but they were completely different in terms of organization. The first one gave us all a personalized itinerary the night before the wedding with times of when we were supposed to be where, how we were getting there + who was going in what car, etc. At the time I thought it was a little bit excessive (although helpful since I’d never been in a wedding before)…until the next cousin got married. And didn’t have that. Everything worked out fine, we all got to the church on time and everyone got a ride from the ceremony to the reception, etc., but jeez, for someone who tends towards a type-A organizer personality like me it gave me a bit of heartburn. I’m planning on doing the same for my party for my wedding…hopefully it’ll mean less stress for everyone, especially me!

Post # 67
Member
7849 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

maabride :  I think the majority of brides do still have their bridesmaids all wear the same dress (or at least the same designer/color/fabric and they can choose a style). But if you step back and think about it…why is that the norm? Who decided that the bridal party should stand up all in the same exact (or nearly exact) outfit? To me it looks like a costume or a uniform…I genuinely don’t get why this is even a thing. 

As a bridesmaid, I have worn plenty of these dresses and haven’t minded too much. Sure it is annoying to spend $200 (plus $$$ for alterations) for some costume you will wear one day and never again…but that is the norm in the U.S. so it’s not like I hold it against brides who choose this path.

Just for aesthetic reasons though, I don’t really get why this costumey look is so prized. I think it looks kind of ridiculous.

Post # 68
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

tiffanybruiser :  I think it’s only “costumey” if the bride picks a bridesmaid’s dress that is very trendy or has untraditional characteristics. What I did was that I told the bridesmaids I wanted them to wear the same dress, told them to send me pictures of dresses they liked with a few key characteristics, and made sure they all agreed on 1 dress to choose before I deemed it as the bridesmaid dress. That way they all liked the dress, but it had the color scheme/features that I wanted from an appearance standpoint. I also made sure that everyone agreed on a price point before they started looking for dresses to vote on. That way no one was bringing up ridiculously priced dresses.

I like the look of everyone wearing the same dress. It visually conveys an organized and unified front, in my opinion. I told the girls that they could style their hair however they wanted, and style their makeup however they wanted though. That way they have some points of individuality in the entire look.

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