(Closed) Things you never heard of, until the Bee!

posted 5 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 61
2306 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

gaps, ceremony-reception and rings.

Post # 62
1321 posts
Bumble bee

Charger plates and sweetheart tables! 

Bridesmaids buying their own dresses, open bars, so much etiquette! 

Can’t believe how much the average cost of a wedding dress seems to be! 

Post # 63
11303 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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Dear Husband

Post # 64
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’ve been on the bee a looooong time but I think the following is a complete list of crap I didn’t “know” (some of it is totally personal preference or cultural/regional differences that bees get crazy over):

Moissy (but yay! That’s what I got for my engagement ring!)

That some people don’t even mention registries. I’ve never in my life received a wedding invitation that DIDN’T have a registry card inside. 

Every adult getting a +1

Children over 18 living with their parents getting their own invitation

Hostess gifts for showers

“Wishing wells” 

That bridesmaids shouldn’t be asked to do anything but stand up with you 

Bridal portraits that happen before the wedding day

People upgrading their rings less than a year out. I’d actually only ever heard of ONE person upgrading and that was my cousin who married young when they were both broke and 15 years later they both had awesome jobs and her husband upgraded her ring. 

I also didn’t realize there was so much drama surrounding weddings. I mean- I figured as long as your mom is somewhat sane you’re probably ok. But I’m glad I read so many crazy stories. I’ve had way more drama during the wedding planning months than I’ve ever had in my life and I’ve come to realize people are for some reason letting my wedding bring up all the shit in their own lives. It’s crazy. People who I’ve never had a tense conversation with have become big balls of crazy. 


ETA: I forget what they are called now, but those parties where you sell tickets and people come and eat and get prizes and it’s a fundraiser for your wedding. I had NO idea that this sort of thing happened and I have good friends all over the country. I’m still not sure what region that’s from. Maybe it’s British?

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  MexiPino.
  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  MexiPino.
Post # 65
1552 posts
Bumble bee

I’d like to know the impact this and similar sites had on the moissanite market. I’ll bet it’s huge!

Post # 66
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I never heard of women being dissappointed with their proposals until I came across this site. Or of women expecting these overblown Hollywood style proposals. SMH

Ring upgrades

Fake rings to wear while travelling

Unplugged weddings

Adult only weddings

Replica dresses


Post # 67
194 posts
Blushing bee

– loads of acronyms (TTC related ones are still a mystery to me!)

– diamond alternatives (asha, amora etc) and moissanite

– a lot of things about diamonds and precious metals 

– girls waiting to be engaged after their SO bought the ring *together* with them..duh!

– 193849 etuquette rules

– plate covering (just got to know it from this thread lol)

there’s probably more i cant think of atm..

Post # 68
8987 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

I am sure this has been said, but the use of STD for save the date, still cracks me up as it means Sexually Transmitted Disease here in the UK!

Post # 69
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I think it’s really interesting that so many people had never heard of “cover your plate” this was something I was always taught growing up.  No, you don’t ask the bride what it cost to feed you, but you should have a general idea of what it costs in your area…around here its $100 per person.



1. Apparently Friday weddings are a huge no-no! Or anything besides Saturday night apparently

2. Giving everyone a +1

3. Fundraising for your wedding…if you can’t afford your wedding, elope!

4. Charger plates

5. Cash bars…sorry, but I’ve never been to a wedding with anything but an open bar.  

Post # 70
836 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d heard of moissy as my hubby is a jeweler and we travel to gem shows. But outside of the bee it isn’t really a known thing, seriously. It’s def not in high demand.
It actually seems that this site does act as a marketing site for what ppl would or could buy.
I didn’t realize that so many women wanted (or expect) a fairy tale proposal and will be ‘depressed’ without one. There also seem to be a lot more self entitled brides than I’d thought. For example: setting a high dress budget for your wedding party and demanding they get a certain dress even though they know that they cannot afford it, expecting guests to cover the cost of you inviting them to your shindig, asking ppl to fund your costs, etc. WTF? Your guests are your friends not your fucking slaves haha.
I also don’t understand and cannot fathom how in the world someone could possibly think that they’re the only ones allowed to be engaged/married until the following year. Lol these bitches are crazy.
Just a side note in case anyone gets all defensive and weird because they always do (another thing that doesn’t happen outside of here lol) I’m not hating on moissy, it’s a pretty stone, it just isn’t popular outside of here.

Post # 71
558 posts
Busy bee

I’ve never heard of so many women willing to “end a relationship” or consider “pretty serious red flags” over such minimal things. For example, “oh he got drunk? You need to leave him now!” or “he yelled at me because I was mad at him….omg that’s abuse! Leave immediately” or my faaavorite phrase “you should go to counseling.” 

Like…some people just want to vent and it seems like a much bigger deal in words than it is in real life. Calm down, no one needs to end a long relationship because of one fight. Yeesh. No relationship is perfect and just because of one “oopsy” doesn’t mean that the relationship is ruined for life. We’re committing ourselves to these people! Why would we leave them when times get rough? I don’t get it.

Post # 72
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

That every one has family drama planning their weddings.   I did too, with people I didn’t realize I would.

Also people feeling depressed during wedding planning.   There were times I wished we were eloping instead.  Everything worked out great in the end and I loved my wedding.   It was nice to read other people’s posts to know I wasn’t alone.   I never imagined how a wedding and the planning could be stressful,  but I found out.

Child free weddings

RSVP postcards (I did this)

Term intimate wedding (also did)

Giving bridesmaids several gifts 

Signature drink (also did)

I got a lot of good ideas from here 🙂

Post # 73
2345 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Some of mine will be due to being a UK Bee.

Bridal showers


Sand ceremonies 

Cocktail hour

Signature cocktail  

First Look 

Jack and Jill (I had to google)


Moissanite or Amora (any diamond alternative but CZ)

The idea that you aren’t engaged when you’ve picked out a ring together. 

The proposal being such a big deal and source of anguish

The various dances other than First Dance e.g. Father/daughter etc.

Bridesmaids paying for their dresses

STDs (lol)

coloured gemstones being looked down on for engagement rings – all those poor European royals!

multiple wedding bands  

Sweetheart tables


Post # 74
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

– I’d never heard of(and still don’t understand) stand-in rings. 

– Ring upgrading(I always thought that was reserved for major anniversaries).

– So many acronyms! I still come across some that go over my head lol

– Diamond alternatives and gemstones! There are so many beatiful stones out there, and now I want them all =)


Post # 75
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Here’s an incomprehensive list of tings I had never heard of before joining the bee about 9 months ago:

-30683047 acronyms

– all things diamond (like GIA certificates, cut, colour etc…)

– custom designing your e-ring

– stand-in rings and ring upgrades

– diamond alternatives

– the notion of ring shrinkage

– choosing and buying the e-ring together

– wife and husband having non-matching wedding bands

– cash bars

– honeymoon funds

– that apparently it’s not okay to specifically ask for money as a wedding gift

– childfree weddings

– having two wedding dresses (ceremony and reception dress)

– replica dresses

– ending the reception at a specific time / the couple leaving the reception at a certain time

– hiring a calligrapher for the envelopes

– the concept of covering your plate

– destination weddings

– trash your dress photo sessions

– engagement photos

– people being invited without their significant others

– weddings with over 200 guests
It also still baffles me how much couples are willing to pay for a wedding in other parts of the world. Weddings over here are definitely expensive, too, but I feel like the average wedding costs waaaaay less.

Most of the things mentioned above are probably due to me being European / cultural differences.

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