- 1 year ago
Hi bees. I haven’t posted much here, but I could use some advice.
I’m only 4 months into my marriage and I already feel a little crazy (I’m having panic attacks).
Have any of you overlooked anything major before your wedding “In the Name of Love?”
The more I think about my own values, the more I realize my husband probably wasn’t the best pick for me.
I want to adopt and raise my children within my own faith. He has a (very old) misdemeanor that precludes him from adopting children, even though it was a dumb/young one-time thing. I told myself that was okay, and a small sacrifice to pay for love, but it kills me to really, truly, deeply think about it.
And he follows a different religion than I do. He wants to raise our kids, should we have them, as “both.” And I just… don’t think I can do that. We talked about it before getting married and I thought that I could. But now I’m 100% sure it’s not what I want.
He also has a good amount of debt (which I knew about). But I didnt really realize how much money he currently spends on “improving” the house, his home gym, and his wardrobe. I’m frankly a minimalist at heart, have very few possessions of my own, and am constantly bothered by the spending and general clutter.
To top it all off, he has temper issues. It’s rarely directed at me, but I’m already getting tired of calming him down, being embarrassed of his behavior in public, and hating his road rage.
Am I over-reacting because of post-honeymoon blues? Or is it possible that I made a big mistake? It’s not like we have kids yet, and there’s time to talk to him about these things.
But what does it mean that I’m having such huge doubts so soon? Any advice?
We were together for 4 years and I was okay that whole time. But now a piece of paper is making me panicked and doubtful? Help a bee out please.