(Closed) Things Your Spouse Won’t Tell You

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Yikes.

Post # 4
Hostess
16018 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Eesh. This makes me a little sick to my stomach.

Post # 5
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

No, but I know a woman who has a secret bank account that she is using to save for her future divorce.

Post # 6
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Should probably be retitled “Things your soon-to-be-ex-spouse won’t tell you”… no?

Post # 7
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow.. Our premarital counselor would have advised heavily against lying about these things. I don’t even know what to say about the mistress.. it was mentioned in such a laid back style like it’s totally normal. That’s disturbing.

Post # 8
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I saw that article a few days ago. When I read stuff like that, I am always shocked by how it’s possible to hide these things in a healthy marriage. I know if Darling Husband started disappearing to mysterious locations or our finances didn’t add up or new purchases started showing up in the home, I would notice right away since we are completely transparent with each other. 

Post # 9
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My mom definitely does the lying about buying/how much things cost.  I don’t blame her, my dad is super cheap yet doesn’t manage the finances.  He gets so grumpy and my mom totally deserves to spend money on herself sometimes, as she rarely does!

None of these have happened to me.  My husband’s a terrible liar so I highly doubt any of these are going on!

Post # 11
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m so glad my husband is a contractor and works with dudes or himself all day and that I’m his secretary.  Not that I think he would cheat if he had an office job, but it just opens up more opportunities for other women to relentlessly flirt with him (my guys is a stud and would absolutely have some admirers if he worked in an office setting:).

The only thing I could see my husband lying about is #4 the one about making a little more money than he lets me think lol other than that, I have no worries whatsoever about my husband.  I’ve been with guys too before whom I didn’t trust and would even go as far as to say they probably cheated on me (I just didn’t have proof).  I totally don’t get that feeling at all now, it’s the nicest feeling in the world and the most important feeling in the world.  I don’t understand women who have these double lifer husbands who do drugs and have affairs behind their back.  I mean I guess I shouldn’t say too much because MAYBE it could happen to even the sharpest of women (I consider myself to be of the highest caliber in awareness of things like this). But I still shake my head a little when women have “no idea”. Yea right.  Ignorance is bliss eh?

Post # 12
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

I can see the bank account thing but it wouldn’t really be a secret. If you are actively keeping that information that is one thing but if you opened it and rarely if ever use it but still have it I don’t really consider that a secret.

I can also see the work spouse idea but that is such a fine line sometimes that it could be an issue. Also, I know I have brought new things into the house that I didn’t tell my SO about. If he asked if it was new or how much it cost I would tell him but there have been times when I didn’t want to explain to him that I needed retail therapy and I just dropped $100 on some new shoes.

Post # 13
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

So….. I’m totally guilty of #3. Fiance and I currently have separate bank accounts, so it is technically my money I’m spending. He and I have differing opinions on what is worth a splurge, so sometimes I have to fib a little to keep the peace.

Example: He is willing to buy a $60 video game that he will play once and never play again, and I never say a word about it. But if I tell him I spent $60 on a dress, a pair of shoes, or a new purse, all hell breaks loose.  

Not entirely sure how I’m going to deal with it once we have a joint bank account…. Maybe I’ll have to start yelling at him for buying video games to get him to understand where I’m coming from 😀 

Post # 14
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m bothered with the whole mistress thing and that there’s a specific website that you can go on to cheat on your spouse.  I understand you can cheat anywhwer…but to have a website specifically for it, it’s just wrong. 

Post # 15
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

 

@tinylittlebird:

If it’s an issue now, I would highly recommend keeping separate accounts..at least when it comes to each of you having “play money”.  Just have one joint account for bills and keep your own checking.  You guys obviously have some big differences in opinions on what is justifiable, so I think that’s the only way.  Also, he’s so full of it for thinking a $60 pair of shoes aren’t a justifiable splurge compared to a video game that will be played once!  lol  You need to get him in check.  Every time you wear those shoes, be like, “hmm, I love these shoes don’t you honey?  I think they were a great INVESTMENT.  I just keep on using them day after day…I’m really getting my $60 worth don’t you agree? Btw how’s that video game coming along?” LOL

Post # 16
Member
1335 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Wow. #5 is especially unsettling. I’ve seen the ~20% of married couples cheat stat before, but it still makes me a little sad everytime I see it.

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