- 2 months ago
I’ve been we my SO for almost 7 years. We’ve been engaged for a little over a year and are supposed to get married this fall. Last summer we bought a house together.
Im a somewhat anxious person in general who doubts lots of things, but for the last several months I’ve been having second thoughts about whether FI is the best match for me.
He has personality traits that have started to really bug me on a regular basis…not asking other people questions about themselves (or me sometimes, like he’ll say how’s your day but then won’t ask anything else about what I tell him) and often only chiming in on conversations in social situations to talk about himself (this may be more he’s unsure what to say) , not exciteable, wanting a decent amount of quiet/alone time daily when I’d prefer chatting more and doing more together, such different interests (it wasn’t always like this) making him rarely actually want to do what I want to do to name a few. There is also the issue of where we live (just outside of a college town for his job) which I thought I was okay with but I truly miss being closer to a city much of the time (he is unwilling to move in the future).
Differnces made things interesting for a while but it’s been the source of a lot of fights lately. I’m also a very sensitive person and I’ve realized somewhat recently that he often doesn’t have that sensitivity /empathy which I feel like is so important to me in a friendship or relationship. I know that’s different with guys vs girls but still.
To complicate things further we just had our shower the other day so if we did call it off I don’t even know how we go about returning all the gifts. A side note I am rather shy and being a “bride” is just not my thing. I hated being the center of attention at the shower and people kept having us kiss which I’m just so awkward with everyone watching
Ive talked to him about all of this, but I feel like some of it is just who he is. There are a lot of great things about him too- he’s smart, goofy (makes me laugh a lot esp when it’s just the 2 of us), kind, always willing to help out with stuff, has helped me feel more confident than I used to, generous and so much more.
. I should also mention that my life feels kind of empty in other areas right now like a job w/o co workers and being at home alone a lot since I haven’t been able to really make friends here so his could be part of my unhappiness. I just don’t feel at peace with us lately and I don’t know how to figure it all out….