The part that stuck out to me is that he calls you names when he gets mad.. It’s cliche, but this is a red flag for abusive relationships! Right now I would say he is verbally abuseing you. My mother was in a severely abusive relationship, and he was always nice to her at first, but then started calling her names, and blamed that they weren’t married on how he was acting. So, foolish Mom married the guy, then he beat her mercilessly and put her down, called her ugly, made her feel terrible, tried to controle everything she did, what she wore, what she said, told her her family and religion was just a mental problem, told her her family was trash and hated her, EVERYTHING. You name it. She got it.
So it breaks my heart to see even the slightest sign of this begining. Like, why if you’re mad at someone, put them down and do it JUST to hurt them? If my Fiance EVER said anything negative about me while we were in a fight, even if it was like, ‘you’re stupid!’. I would be devestated. You never, put your partner down out of anger. It’s a childish move that you’re just doing to hurt the other person. And why would you hurt the one you love, EVEN in anger? Answer, you wouldn’t.
He sounds like he needs anger management, and needs to be told by OTHER people that he’s mistreating you, or that he’s taking his mothers side over yours, everything. And you should never have to feel bad about your background and heritage! That sounds awful! :S I’m Canadian, but if someone was like, oh, stupid Canadian, I would be so hurt!
This is your day! It’s suppose to be your wedding! Imagine a bride not having their say in the wedding? That sounds like insanity!!
This will cause a huge fuss, but I say call off the wedding. Not the engagement, but just the wedding. Or push it back. Because once you’re married, that’s it. It’s for life. Or at least it should be. You shouldn’t be having any doubts about your relationship when you’re walking down the aisle and saying your I Do’s. You should be able to come to him with your problems, or your concerns. You are his team member, NOT his mother! YOU are his family now, he’s not a son first, he’s a HUSBAND first.
Take a few days away, really take a look at things from outside of your current situation, maybe with your side of the family. It sounds dumb, but talk to your Mom and Dad together, and maybe brothers and sisters if you have them and tell them EVERYTHING. Don’t hold back and try to defend him. Your family usually has your best intentions and just want what’s best for you.
Do you really want to spend your life with this man and being the daughter-in-law to this family? You shouldn’t have to go through this on what should be one of the happiest times of your life. This whole post broke my heart. 🙁 I’m so sorry. I truly wish you all the happiness and joy in the world, and I hope things look better soon. This sounds terrible confusing and emotionally exhausting. Please take some time off and relax and process all of this information! Best of luck! Hope these replies to this board help a little!