(Closed) Thinking about calling off wedding due to political conflicts

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Strawberry_Tangers:  Sounds like he’s told you what he wants, he just lacks the courage to do it.  Saying he “made his bed” with regards to marrying you?  Is this really what you want?

Seriously, these problems will not go away, if anything they will get worse.  It’s sad to see differences over politics come to this, but in a way, the two of you probably see the world as a compeltely difference place.

Post # 4
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Strawberry_Tangers:  This doesn’t seem so much political as he’s a control freak with very old fashioned views on marriage and relationships.  I’d run for the hills!

ETA:  Darling Husband and I voted for different people and get in heated debates when we’ve had  few, but that’s fun to us…we respect each other’s views but just like to debate. 

Post # 5
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m not going to say whether or not I think you should call off the wedding, because I don’t think anyone can make that call but you… I don’t know the whole story.

 

But I will say from what you’ve posted, he sounds like a controlling ass! He seems very disrespectful, and I also think it’s ridiculous that he feels like he’s “stuck” with you by saying “he has made his bed”. I think you would be completely justified in calling off the wedding if you wanted to. You are definitely not overreacting.

 

Post # 6
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Made his bed is not a flattering phrase. How you vote is none of his business actually. 

Tell us more…

Post # 7
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My Fiance and I have different political views, and it causes disagreements (sometimes healthy discussion, sometimes actual arguments). However, we generally do respect that we each have our reasons for thinking the way we do and acknowledge that we cannot expect the other person to change. If he ever told me how to vote or tried to control me in any other way, it would raise some serious red flags. 

Equally concerning is the fact that it sounds like he’s marrying you because he feels like he has no other choice. You deserve better than that.

Post # 8
Member
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would not want to marry a controlling man, no matter what his political affiliation is.

Post # 10
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Please, please, please don’t marry a man that is exhibiting control over you.  I can promise you, through experience (I’m in the process of divorce), that it will only get worse.  Choose your future carefully, my dear.

Post # 11
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Voting, eh? I vote that you take the initiative and get outta there. You wouldn’t be calling off the wedding because of political conflicts; you’d be calling off the wedding (and taking back your life) in your own words: “because of how controlling he’s been over the past year…how moody he gets…and how unwilling he is to see the other side of things.” He is leaving it to you to call it off so that he doesn’t have to take responsibility for it. Well then. You grab that responsibility with both hands and run. Good luck to you. 

 

Post # 12
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

What you are fighting about is not what you are fighting about. This isn’t about politics. This is about him trying to control you. Marriage should be about respect and partnershi. I dont think you’ll be able to get that with him. I would postpone wedding planning and really, really think if you can live this way and raise your kids this way.

Post # 14
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think you know the answer to your own post and you’re just trying to muster up the courage to go ahead and do what needs to be done.  *hug* Do what you need to do to make yourself happy.  My Fiance and I don’t agree on politics, but he still went with me and expressed the importance that I vote, regardless of who it is for.  If he threatened to break up with me over who I voted for, I would tell him to cash in on that promise. 

Post # 16
Member
737 posts
Busy bee

@Strawberry_Tangers:  Easy answer, tell him who you voted for.

I agree with all the other posters….. the signs are not good.

The topic ‘Thinking about calling off wedding due to political conflicts’ is closed to new replies.

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