(Closed) Thinking about canceling wedding, after putting deposit down!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your guests do not have to go on the cruise. Normally the wedding takes place while the ship is docked at the pier. After the wedding the non cruisers leave before the ship sets off.

Post # 4
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

do what YOU and YOUR FI really want to do!!  It’s your wedding 🙂   keep in mind you wont have a lot of people on the cruise but if you are ok with that then great! Would you guys move the date up or keep september 2013?  If I were you I would really take some time to think about it, you dont have to cancle the venue you have, just make sure not to put anymore money into until you are 100% decided!!! Good Luck, figuring out what to do was the hardest part for us!

Post # 5
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Sure, do it. The point is the marriage, not the wedding. Even a JOP wedding and it won’t be any less special.

Post # 6
Member
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

How much money would you be losing by cancelling?

Post # 7
Member
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Juliepants:  I’m wondering the same.

It really just depends on your financial situation. What was your budget for the original wedding? What is your mom and Future Mother-In-Law willing to contribute? If it were me, I would probably try to keep the original venue and just try to cut corners where possible.

Post # 9
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I would try to have the wedding at the venue that is already booked and cut corners. You both loved it and it would stink to lose that money. You wedding is 6 months from now and a lot of people have already planned vacations and might not be able to travel, even though you already have a small guest list I would talk to the people you want there the most before you cancel the venue and see if this is even doable for them.

Post # 10
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

See if your venue will allow you to apply the deposit to a different date.. that way you could postpone the reception party until you are back on your feet and have more money freed up, and in the meantime you can get married with a JOP (if you need to get married in order to combine health benefits) or wait on the ceremony as well.

Post # 11
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Liecey84:  You can work out the medical expenses with the providers to make payments.  If you do a medical savings plan, you can pay those off with pretax dollars so that will make your money stretch a bit.  I have to say that I agree with your mom in keeping the wedding, but as juliejaye said, you are a ways out so they may be willing to move your date back a bit if you need a cushion of time.  I know that if you use weddingbee as a helpful resource, you can save some money off of using the wonderful bees ideas, with both the wedding and in the home life.   These ladies are geniuses of finding deals and crafty DIYs.

Post # 12
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

You could also try talking to the venue – you are 19 months out on a popular wedding month, I bet they could re-book that date between now and then. Our venue would let us out of our deposit as long as they could re-book. 

Explain the situation with your FI’s health and see if they are willing to do that. If not, wait a good 6-8 months do to any more planning, see where you are financially, and go from there. You could always do a very small wedding in that venue, provided there are no minimums you need to meet. 

Post # 13
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

I personally wouldn’t give up that large of a deposit on a venue. If your venue has a minimum guest count though, then I’d probably think about losing it.

You have a couple of options.

Option 1) Go with the venue and original plan.

Option 2) Go with the original plan but DIY EVERYTHING. Ipod and rented speakers for music, silk flowers, and just cake (one small tiered cake for pictures and sheet cakes to feed everyone else) and champagne for the reception, and maybe finger foods if you can afford it. I know that Olive Garden Catering offers soup, salad, and breadsticks for $13 a person.

Option 3) Go with the original venue but invite less guests.

Option 4) Let go of your deposit and have the cruise wedding with your closest family members/friends.

Option 5) Get married on the cruise ship, ask the venue if you can push back the date to have a belated reception there.

Option 6) Have a very small, immediate family/closest friends ceremony in a park, backyard, or small chapel and all go out to eat afterward, and later on throw a big reception at your original venue.

Option 7) Have a JOP ceremony, go out to eat afterward, and throw a big reception and or vow renewal at your original venue.

Option 8) Ask your venue if you can push back the date and then get married however you want and then throw a big vow renewal and reception when you can afford it more easily.

To me, it would really depend on what the minimum guest count is for the venue. If the minimum guest count was 50 or less, I’d probably DIY everything and make it happen. If the venue had a higher minimum guest count I’d probably lose the deposit and get married sooner and just push back the original venue’s date and have a reception there. Then again, if you’re willing to lose the $2,500, then by all means, go for the cruise ship wedding!

This is not your mother’s wedding. I learned a long time ago to not tell anyone about our plans until something was already booked. So instead of saying, “Well we are thinking about getting married in _____” I’d say, “We just booked our photographer in _____. We are getting married there.” I’ve found they normally have less to say when I put it that way. Just know that if you choose the cruise ship wedding then she might not contribute financially anymore if she disagrees with it, But then again, if 4everdecember is right, then what would your mom have to say against the cruise ship wedding if no one had to go on the cruise if they didn’t have the money to or didn’t want to?

Good luck to you and your fiance’s health. I hope he gets better soon.

I hope this helps you in some way. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Liecey84:  Guys like to see logistics in writing.  I suggest planning out your budget, both for your home and for your wedding, then sit down with him and show him where you are, possible areas to cut or save, and how exactly and when you plan to pay for things. 

 

This is going to sound nutty, but I saw it in an article awhile ago.  You can also ask your family members and friends that you trust to save their cans for you, there was a couple that paid for their whole wedding with just the cans that their friends and family saved.  You have over a year and that could work out to some significant cash in that time.  I know crazy, but just a thought.

Post # 16
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@tksjewelry:  We have saved our cans for years. For just the two of us we get about $100 a year. Not a lot, but if more people chip in it could be helpful!

The topic ‘Thinking about canceling wedding, after putting deposit down!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors