(Closed) Thinking About Cheating… For Real.

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 33
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@nowifey:

If you think a ring on your finger will stop you from cheating you’re dead wrong.  It may do exactly the opposite.

Leave your b/f, you wouldn;t be having these thoughts if you really wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.

Post # 34
Member
1174 posts
Bumble bee

@nowifey: You are throwing a tantrum right now. You only want your ex because you know you can’t have anything real or lasting with him and he only wants you because you are happy with someone else. If you want to leave your man, that’s fine but do yourself a favor and let sleeping dogs lie. You broke up with him for a reason or did you forget that hot pants;0) This is a classic case of if you don’t do what I want, when I want it, I will take my toys and go. Take a cold shower and think this thing through.

 

 

Post # 35
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This remind anyone else of this Taylor swift song.   That being said though, cheating is never ok.  It’s the kind of thing that a person will always regret doing to someone they cared about, and that their SO will always remember as the worst breach of trust.  If you really think that you need more “spark” in a relationship and that you’ll only find that with someone else, then do things in the right order and end your relationship first.  I agree with PPs though, there’s probably a reason this ex is an EX!

Post # 36
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This breaks my heart.  I certainly wish the best for you guys.

Post # 37
Member
4554 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@kiddosc: It actually reminded me of the plot of Lionel Shriver’s  Post-Birthday World.

OP, these feelings are normal. But dwelling on them isn’t healthy if you’re choosing to stay in a realationship. And you ARE still choosing to be in a relationship, even while you sit there and pine for someone else, by virtue of the fact that you’re not breaking it off with SO.

My advice would be to get away for a few days. Go to your parents’, go to a hotel, go camping. Don’t bring your boyfriend, and definitely don’t bring your ex! Just retreat, relax, and use the quiet to try and hear what your heart is REALLY telling you absent the influence of your mind’s desire for security and your libido’s desire for, well, … something else.

Post # 38
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Dear god PLEASE do not act on this.  Sounds to me like you’re afraid of commitment.  If you still feel this way in a week do something about it.  Just sit on it awhile.  I bet it’ll go away.

Post # 40
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

Leave your boyfriend. Not just leave, RUN. You are wasting your time. “Perfect for eachother” doesn’t have a “but I want to sleep with my ex” exception. You want to spend your life with your plain jane? It doesn’t sound like it. If you are seriously considering cheating, this is not the man for you. That being said, if you decided to stay with your boyfriend and you cheat, you will probably cheat again. And again. And again. Everytime you feel a lack of passion, you will cheat. For both of your sakes, call it quits!

Post # 41
Member
5323 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

A friend of mine was over last week and while her husband was in the other room she started whispering about how this ex of hers had come back into her life and wanted to see her again. She looked at me and asked what she should do. I told her if she was whispering about it that was her answer. You know nothing good is going to come of this. Don’t do it. Plain and simple. You sound like you need to step back and reassess what’s important to you. Block this guy from your phone, delete his number, forget he exists if you truly want to marry your BF.

Post # 42
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

After reading your original post I would have first said, spark things up in your bedroom, SHOW your bf what you want, don’t wait for him to initiate at first, you need to lead by example first and then ask him to initiate more and be spontaneous, if after some time that didn’t work, then come to terms with the fact that you are not satisfied and leave.  

But then I read this:

We’ve had sit down conversations and I just don’t really think he understands what I want/need. He has become A LOT more affectionate in the past couple of months after a conversation we had, but the emotional satisfaction is still not quite there.

I think that last part says it all, if he is not everything you need emotionally, he is probably not the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. It is such a hard thing to come to terms with, especially if he seems like the perfect match for everything bu this. But this isn’t a small thing, it’s a really big one.  Maybe you could work on the passion together, but the lack of understanding and the fact that you don’t feel totally happy with your emotional connection seems like a big red flag. I wish you the best. Don’t cheat, it will only bring on a lot of drama and heartache.


Post # 43
Member
42 posts
Newbee

Did this ‘ex’ know you were in a committed relationship when he said you were the love of his life?

If he did, he’s pulling the oldest trick in the book.

He only said you were his true love to put doubts in your mind and boost his own ego.  He’s tempting you with lies and you’ll end up wounded.  Remember, he’s a ex for a reason.

 

Post # 44
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Honestly, you say you have been waiting to get engaged, but all the signs show you are not ready.  Getting married is not about being asked, or about the ring and the event.  It is about finding your partner with whom you want to be for the rest of your life.  Forsaking all others.  You do not seem to be there yet. And your line ” …but I also don’t like to deny to myself things I truly want” shows a shocking lack of maturity.  It is not always about what YOU want, but about a commitment you make.

Post # 45
Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

How long does an orgasm last? about 60 seconds, even for a mind blowing one?  If you have multiples, we’ll say 3-4 minutes.  How much is 3-4 minutes worth?

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