(Closed) Thinking about kicking a bridesmaid out of the wedding

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
62 posts
Worker bee

I feel for you lady, I really do. In any other situation but a wedding I would say her behavior is totally off the wall, but if there is one thing I have discovered about weddings it’s that they dredge up strange emotions in everyone. I’ve had some of the strangest conversations with people I’ve known all my life – mom, best friends, Fiance, etc., since the word ‘wedding’ was introduced. Stuff that I’ve never seen from them before at all is suddenly bubbling up. I think there should be some sort of term for it, like PWII (Pre-Wedding Induced Insanity.)

So with that in mind I’d say only you know the Big Picture. Is this a gal who is really struggling with her own emotions in this particular scenario, or is this part of a larger pattern for her? I think in the end that will be the thing that helps you make your final decision.

One more thought…some of my greatest friends in the world are people who I’ve wanted to strangle at one point or another, and vice versa I’m sure! In some weird way I think it’s a sign of being true ‘family’ when we INFREQUENTLY experience those things with our near and dear. But again, if this is a part of a larger, toxic pattern, then that is a different matter. 


Post # 19
45 posts
  • Wedding: July 2009


Planning a wedding is stressful enough. If you think she is going to add to your stress I would kick her out. Tell her that while you love and care for her you understand that it be difficult on her finicially. And while you would love for to help her out with costs for the wedding, you also have large finiacial obligations. Tell her if the wedding is too costly then you will understand if she unable to be a bridesmaid, and there are no hard feelings.

Its totally bull but you are giving her the choose without looking like the bad guy, and she doesn’t feel guity about it.

Hope that works.

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