(Closed) Thinking about leaving my husband.. Scared and unsure of how to do it?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like he’s not someone you’d want to be with forever…I wouldn’t want to be told what to do or eat or drink ever! I dated a guy a little like that who was obsessed with me not wearing things that were provacative. 

Do you have family or friends you could stay with? 

I’m sorry you’re having to go through this 🙁

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i am rarely the person that posts you should leave but if your self worth and confidence is being torn down by a person that you are suppose to love and trust, if they are abusing you (verbally & emotionally) or controlling you (financially feeling trapped) and calling you names – that is not love and respect and you should not stay in that situation

please seek counseling, for you on your own at the very least and if for some reason you feel you are not ready to leave yet then also ask yourself, is this a situation that i want to live with for another year or ten years and is this a environment that i would want to raise a child in

i feel that sometimes people get to the point you are in and need to hear it a few times before they are brave enough to say it themselves. i hope you find your answers

Post # 5
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m not sure what kinds of resources are available to you, but you need to start making a plan.  You need to have some financial recources that are your own and find a way to extricate yourself from this situation.  It doesn’t sound healthy, and it could get worse.  I am sorry you are going through this.  

Post # 6
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry this is happening!

You are on the right track, and you can save yourself from being a doormat of abuse.

If things were like this before and you married him anyways, there must be a few complications in there.

All I can say is tomorrow is a new day! It doesn’t matter if your married, dating or whatever, you have every right to leave a relationship. Don’t look down on your self, chin up and be confident about what you deserve as a woman, let alone a human being.

Please let us know if you have friends or family you can stay with so you always have a safe haven should something get ugly and you need time to get on your feet.

Post # 7
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

If finances are keeping you from leaving, a local women’s shelter will help you.  They can help you discover your options and give you emotional support, in addition to a place to stay.

You don’t have to live with name-calling and controlling behavior, and you can build a life for yourself, on your terms.

Post # 8
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Do you have family you can go live with?

Post # 8
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2004

dannielle89:  hello. I just found this site and just read your post…im sorry that i dont have any advise for you, but my situation is so much like yours that i just wanted to thank you for sharing, i can now see that im not alone, that someone else has gone through the same things as me….

Post # 11
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

That’s crazy. She’s felt that way for 4 years. Waaaay better off without him

Post # 12
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

wow that took a long time!

Post # 14
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016 - Church by the beach,

Maybe you both need to try to get help and talk about these problems together I would try that first you are married and if that doesn’t work at least you have tried and you leaving won’t be out of the blue.

Post # 15
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

dannielle89:  Yeah you are still really young, and have only been with each other. There is a reason the divorce rate is higher for those who marry before 25.

You sound miserable…I say get your divorce and be happy!!! Or at the very least counselling both individually and together ( if you want to save the relationship…)

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