(Closed) Thinking about NOT sending Save The Dates – To send or not to send?

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I did not send std’s … I’m happy I didn’t. It built anticipation and everyone is dying over our invitations right now! I would never have been able to get the reaction I’m getting over the invitations we created together … which took FOREVER we struggled over doing perfect invites … so I say no. Do not send them! We are also expecting like 170’ish to come … so it’s a smallish wedding (for us).

Post # 4
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I have to say, I wish I hadnt sent save the dates. I admit, it’s fun and exciting to get your date out there and let people know when you’re getting married, but it also binds you to inviting every one of those people. I had people who were so excited that we got engaged, so of course I wanted to invite them to the wedding, But now I never talk to them. My STD’s were cheap and easy, but if I could do it over again, I wouldnt. Just my thoughts on the matter! Happy planning! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

i sent my stds via email – no printing, no postage. just me, a photo, ppt and pdf.

we did it because we only had 9 months and people needed to cross time zones and country lines to get to the wedding so we wanted to give as much advanced noice as possible. it also forced us to figure out our invite list early in the process which helped for planning purposes. it prevented the ad hoc “let’s invite the neighbor” situation.

Post # 6
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Oliveyou- thats what happened to me … everyone was so excited and especially at places I frequent every week and I told like 3 different places I wished I could have a table for them … but obviously now … I’m maxed out on space … uhh bad move.

Post # 7
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not sending STD’s, but I’m having a very small wedding (~50 or so guests) and most are from in town. 

Post # 8
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Definitely don’t have to.  I did, but that was because my wedding was over a holiday weekend.

Post # 9
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t think that Save-The-Date Cards are a must, unless you’re getting married out of town (like WAY out of town!) or on a holiday weekend.  And that’s just a courtesy…which could be taken care of via email, word of mouth, etc. like you’ve already mentioned. 

I also ran into the problem of having to invite a few people that I didn’t really want to invite due to my Save-The-Date Cards…but it was just 4 couples, so I’m not really crying about it.

Post # 10
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Personally, I really enjoy Save the Dates, but I do agree that they are not necessary. I think its one of those things that if you have the room in your budget (and the time!), you should totally do.

However, they don’t have to be expensive or time consuming if you do want to do but don’t have the resources–emails, evites, or even printing the info on a photo in Kodak Gallery or Shutterfly are all perfectly great ways to get the word out. It’s not a deal breaker either way. I just really love having them on my fridge or bulletin board for the few months leading up to  a friend’s wedding! 

Post # 11
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Def. not a must depending on the wedding.  For me, a def. must.  FI’s family lives across the country and I doubt half of them would show up if I didn’t do Save-The-Date Cards.  Also, e-mail not an option for me, as most of his friends/family don’t check their e-mail often or even have e-mail!  (what the heck.. crazy, I know.)

Post # 12
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I really enjoyed making my STD and people think they are amazing.

The reasons:

  • out of town–it’s in FL; His family are all over FL, NJ, and Puerto Rico! Mine family are in MS, LA, and IL.
  • unfortuantley, it’s a holiday weekend and I could have swore I picked one that wasn’t, but I just found out memorial is usually observed the last week/weekend of May.
  • Had the budget, the time, and the cutest idea ever. (I’m gonna post pics soon)
  • My family is um…low income so I wanted to give them a lot of time to save for the wedding to make it down here.

Post # 13
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree that it totally depends on the wedding.  95% of our guests are from out of town, and my immediate family and friends from home will have to travel across the country, so we’re sending save the dates as a courtesy so people will know well in advance.  That being said, I’ve been to five weddings this year that were all out of town, and all had save the dates, but I generally didn’t make my travel plans until I got the invitation and it was closer to the actual date.  So I’d say, if you don’t think you need them, don’t send them!

Post # 14
Member
599 posts
Busy bee

It depends on you and your wedding. I am getting married on a holiday so I need them to make sure people dont make other plans such as travel or just basic holiday plans. We are having about 150 people come and for me that seems quite large. STD’s are just an easy way to send out a quick note to people we definitely want to go since we do not have e-mails for everyone. I just like the formality of this.

Post # 15
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We told our nearest and dearest when the date was, and the word spread from there, so we got away just fine without doing Save-The-Date Cards. 

Post # 16
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We are sending our save the dates to those few guests that we can not imagine not being at our wedding. And even though we will be TELLING everyone our date, doesn’t mean they will REMEMBER! the hard copy save the date on the fridge will keep it fresh in their mind.

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