(Closed) Thinking about NOT sending Save The Dates – To send or not to send?

posted 11 years ago in Paper
Post # 17
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I had originally not wanted to do the STD thing because I thought it was a waste of time and money.  But then our list grew from 150 people to 300.  And then it went to a destination wedding or 5 hours from my home town.  So not only would his family/friends have to travel but mine too.  I thought that word of mouth/email/etc would be fine but then I caught wind of a friend having their 30th bday party that same night and my mom’s friend trying to get their circle of friends to go on a cruise.  These people all knew the date but I guess because they didn’t have something to remind them they had forgotten.

So I choose to do a photo of the two of us and printed them on vistaprint.  Used a coupon and got them for $94.00 (taxes and shipping included).  Not bad.

Post # 18
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I didn’t send STDs, but I did make sure that the people I love the most knew about the date well in advance!

Post # 19
Member
3282 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I did it cos I had an idea I really wanted to send out, but they are absolutely NOT necessary!  If you don’t want to, you definitely don’t need to!

Post # 20
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee

I think STDs are really cute and I’ve seen so many wonderful ones around WB.  However, in our case, we decided not to send them.  We had around a year to plan the wedding and weren’t inviting lots of Out of Town guests.  I figured it was easier just to talk to people in person and give them the information.  I do think STDs would have been cute, but we just didn’t need them, so we saved the money/time.

Post # 21
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

If you don’t have alot of Out of Town guests, I really don’t think it’s necessary! 

Post # 22
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I decided not to send save the dates. As awful as it sounds, I am worried that I might want to change my mind on inviting somebody. We have a room that holds 100, and with family and my mum’s list, it leaves us with some tough choices of who to cut. I wouldn’t want to send a STD and then regret it. I hear loads of nightmares about people who send out STDs and then change their mind/ want to scale back wedding etc

Post # 23
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

the majority of our guests are flying in from overseas (canada, UK, australia, taiwan, singapore… and thats just off the top of my head!) and so we think save the dates are quite useful. also, they’re fun!

Post # 24
Member
42 posts
Newbee

STD’s are a recent trend and not something traditional – and with the size of your guest list, holy smokes girl will you save yourself a lot of costs on postage alone if you skip them!!!

It sounds like you’ve informed everyone who needs to know, so you’re good. Save the headache for something that really matters…

Post # 25
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I am a crafter at heart, so I wanted to do Save the Dates. I just talked with my friend about this though and I don’t think you have to do it by any means. We were worried about the out of towners, which is all 250 of our guest list!

The hardest part is whittling down the guest list so early on. I had a situation where the groom asked for several people’s addresses to send invites to. A friend and I never got Save the Dates, never got invites, didn’t go to the wedding! I had it on my calendar until I realized that everyone else HAD received their invites. Apparently they ran out of space, but he never said anything to us! I wanted to make sure that didn’t happen to any of my guests, so I tried to err on the side of too little. (yes, i know that’s crazy to say w/ 250! but it’s true. i want everyone i know to be there… but $$ won’t allow that!)

Post # 26
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

If you don’t have a ton of people traveling, I wouldn’t worry about them.

Post # 27
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

So we are having huge issues over the guest list. The only issue we are having at all as a matter of fact.

My plan for the save the dates are to send one to everyone that I really really want to be there and then to not send them to people who are far away and I am just inviting because of social or family requirements. That way those people are more likely not to be able to attend. I know it sounds wrong but the two groups don’t talk and I really want to keep the peace between my family and my future in laws while still having a wedding I can afford and that I want.

The upside is that you still get to send save the dates and save money at the same time. I feel awkward at times when making choices but as my grandmother said people understand you have to make tough decisions when it comes to weddings.

Post # 28
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club

We are not doing STDs, and 90% of our guests are out of state. We’re in the “they’re not traditional” camp and I didn’t want to be bound to inviting people so far in advance.

Also, sending STDs gives people more time to plan to come to the wedding, which means more RSVPs (we have a lot of really distant relatives on our list). Also more time for them to think about adding extra people, and more time for them to say “Why didn’t you invite Cousin So & So?”

It just seemed like more negatives than positives for us.

Post # 29
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m in the same situation as Mitla.  We aren’t doing save the dates and most of our guests are from out of town.  But we’re having guest list issues, so we kind of don’t want some people to ‘save the date’.  I know that might sound horrible to some of you, but we can only have 250 people in our venue and our families make up about 180 of those people!   We’d like it if the random cousins didn’t come so we can open up room to invite our friends. 

That said, at this point (we’ve been engaged since last November), all of our family and our close friends know the date.  I’m going to send out the address of our website when I send emails to get people’s addresses, so we figure that people can get all of the necessary information through us or the website.

It did make me a little sad though – I had some killer ideas for the cards….. :o)

Post # 30
Member
42 posts
Newbee

I agree it’s not necessary, but helpful for out of towners. We’re concerned about making sure we meet our minimum guest list, so we plan to mail save the dates. We have a number of people who are across the country and some out of the country. I sent an email to a small number of folks to let them know that we booked our wedding venue and that we’d mail out official cards when we returned from our recent trip…now the question is whether to mail them to everyone or just the people we think need them. Thoughts? I think we can at least skip immediate family.

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