(Closed) Thinking about someone else, but I am getting marry soon

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
4667 posts
Honey bee

I know what you’re going through. I’m not anywhere close to my wedding date, we don’t even have one yet, but I do the same thing. I love my FH with all of my heart and that will never change. But I know that although he may be ‘the one’ for me, he’s not my first true love. That would be on of my friends, Jon. He was there for me when no one else was (before I met my FH). He helped me through all the tough times in my life like none other. I don’t think it’s odd to think about your friend right now. I think it’s completely normal. As long as you know that your FH is the right man for you and you have no doubts in your heart, you’re fine. We’ve all felt this way at some time or another, you just need to be strong and know that your FH is the ONE! Just remember, never doubt your heart.

Post # 4
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

i keep having thoughts of an ex.  but a few weeks ago we were at the beach and we met a fun couple and hung out and drank beers with them.  they were exactly what i and the ex would’ve been if we had stayed together.  and let me tell you, it made me SO HAPPY that i am with my man.  he helps me stay out of trouble and helps me better a better person.  the ex had all the same vices, so all in all i know i am with the right guy 🙂

Post # 5
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee

I think you and your Fiance need to work on building your friendship…not just love. It is the friendship that lasts well after the original ‘buzz’ is gone. (don’t worry it comes and goes all the time).

It’s not uncommon to get ‘cold feet’ but I also think you are being told to become better friends with the man you are going to marry. 

Post # 6
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

it’s not uncommon to have a range of emotions at such a monumental time in your life. only you will have the answers and you need to learn to trust your gut.

maybe you have feelings for your ex and they are not resolved. maybe you are thinking about your ex because you have issues with your Fiance. whatever the case is, really take some time for yourself and examine your feelings. if you are not sure that you want to get married, then you should hold off until you are sure. 

we all try to find closure in every relationship, but there really isn’t one. think about what you want for your future and what you will be happy about. can you marry your Fiance and really, truly be happy? ask yourself some difficult questions. sometimes it’s okay to be in  a state of "i don’t know." but, if you ar ein one, then it’ not fair to go through with the marriage.

if you are having doubts, take some time for yourself and think things over. good luck and i hope you find the happiness you deserve.

Post # 7
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with LadyBug… Within the past month (as the wait for the ring draws in), I started having strange dreams about two ex boyfriends that honestly, I have no desire to get back with.  But the dreams kept coming!  I finally reached out to my best friend (who’s married with a baby now) and she reassured me that even while she was pregnant, she had dreams about ex boyfriends or mystery lovers… she read in a book that its normal (at least through pregnancy with all the hormones), but I’ve decided that the same goes with marriage.  🙂

Big changes lead to strange thoughts… you could also be “mourning” the end of an era… you no longer need that friend, you now have moved on… don’t beat yourself up too bad. 

 

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