Post # 1
Just a little backstory before I get started- we’ve been together 3 years. My FH has just recently started a career and still lives with his parents. I have been pulling him along for the ride throughout our relationship- if we had my function or weekend trip to go to, I paid, no questions asked, because it was an expense from my side of life. If we went to dinner, I paid, because I said “we should go out.”I just started to realize that if we left it up to him we wouldn’t have any of those things because while they’re nice and he enjoys them, he doesn’t have a life that requires participation in sorority formals, golf tourneys, clam bakes, etc. Whatever he participates in he is participating in because someone else paid for his ticket. I thought that was just because of his financial means, but we’re trying to improve that together and save for a wedding right now and he’s still not changing. I’ve made my sacrifices and he hasn’t done anything yet- I don’t think he’s going to. I even paid for him to go to a financial planning class. NOTHING.
On top of that, he cheated on me from May through October. I caught on and it broke me to let him go. The only reason I accepted his proposal was because it was public and I didn’t want to make a scene by saying no right then. But now that we’re engaged, he thinks I’m paying for the entire wedding on my own. I might be in a sorority, I might be a really good fundraiser, but I am a RECEPTIONIST and an EMT. Maybe if I hadn’t spent so much on him last year alone I would have been able to afford to swing this!
My family doesn’t like him. I don’t like him. He’s overbearingly sweet to me when I just want him to man up and do what he needs to…. but then he puts me down and says “you wouldn’t understand” in any discussion we have. And to top it ALL off, I’m more than accepting of his faith and am there every sunday (he’s Christian) but he gets grumpy about having to make changes for me (I’m Greek Orthodox- it means we’re going to have 2 Easters every year. I asked him if he’s okay with that and he said “well I didn’t have a choice!”)
What would you all do in my shoes? Help me out here!
Post # 3
I read “the only reason I accepted his proposal was because it was public and I didn’t want to make a scene by saying no right then” and that was enough.
if thats the only reason you accepted, its over and you need to break it off.
Post # 4
He cheated on you and expects you to always pay for everything. You said yourself that you don’t like him. Dump him.
Post # 5
…You said you don’t like him? Why on Earth would you marry someone you don’t like? You literally do not say a single positive thing about him in your entire post. Leave.
Post # 6
Come on, honey. You said it without saying it. Dump him. And don’t look back.
Post # 7
Call it off. Plenty of people end engagements, and it’s more common than you would think.
Dump the guy!
Post # 8
“My family doesn’t like him. I don’t like him.”
!!! You need to find a way to break if off 🙁
Sounds like you can do much better than him!
Post # 9
In my opinion, when someone asks a question like this it’s because the person already knows the answer but reassurance is good. All the flags are there, I hope you are able to make the best decision for you.
Post # 11
How is this even a question? If you don’t like him, ditch him and find someone you actually care about!
Post # 12
It’s time to go. Definitely dump him. You will probably feel like a giant weight has been lifted off you when you do. The person you marry should be someone you LOVE (nevermind like…) and someone you want to spend your life with.
Post # 13
You know the answer already. And from what I’ve seen from other bees on posts like this, no one is going to judge your decision or disagree with you about him needing to go.
Post # 14
Thanks bees! I just feel so bad about this- I know I USED to love him. I think I felt like it was going to get better. We were just snowed in together all weekend (we’re in the NE and got pounded by that blizzard! 30″!!!) and being around him 24/7 got me so irritated. I shoveled. I cooked, I cleaned, I shoveled as much as I could (my neighbors helped out so I baked them a pie too), I took the garbage out. There was not one thing he helped with and in the end, not one thing I truly needed him for.
Post # 15
On the off chance this is real, you should leave him.
Post # 16
Why is this even a question???