(Closed) Thinking of calling off my wedding :( Long sorry.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

Um how about a ‘sorry, too bad, THAT is not happening.” Period. End of discussion.

And SHE can contact them and inform them that SHE made the error.

These people won’t die if they don’t come.

Tough love here but grow a back bone.

Post # 4
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

OMG that is insane!

I am so sorry you have to deal with this!

I would tell her that these people can absolutely not come and she has to call them to explain this situation.

She is playing dirty and I would play dirty back. I would lie to her and tell her that there will be a bouncer at the door only letting in actual guests and all of her guests will be denied entry.

I don’t know if it will work but I would give it a try!

Sorry again *HUGS*

Post # 5
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh. Hell. No.

Don’t get fi to call her anymore. You get on that phone and you make it LOUD AND CLEAR… there is not space for other people. These people are not welcomed and that is that. 

 

Post # 7
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Tuesdayschild: Ouch! Sorry to hear that happened, people can be horrible!

I would say either tell her – or have your Fiance tell her – that she needs to tell these people they can’t come, perio. If she gives you a hard time, explain that this is your wedding and there is no way you can fit these people in. Maybe after the wedding you can have a family party, but not at the wedding reception itself. It is not her responsibility to invite people to your wedding, and if people are not going to be “devasted”, they’ll understand that you have a limited budget. (Unless they want to be childish about it, and that’s on them.)

Stay strong!

Post # 8
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Call these people up, and be honest. Tell them that you only invited immediate family because that’s what you can afford, but your Mother-In-Law decided she would invite people on her own, and its just not in the cards. Put it all on her, and make her look like an ass for doing it. After the wedding, distance yourself from her. Regardless of her reasoning, what she did is so uncalled for, its really unbelievable. I wouldn’t forgive her for a long time

Post # 10
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

wtf? that’s insanity. i don’t know what to tell you other than you should NOT compromise your perfectly planned day and elope. i know you and FH have been trying to give her a come to Jesus meeting, but do what you have to in order to get her to call these people and uninvite them. hell, have FH tell her that you are going to elope or that she’s not invited unless she fixes this mess. x_x i’m sorry!

Post # 11
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would almost want to disinvite her, just for this little stunt. Make her pay for all the ridiculous stress she has put you under. I know its not really something you’d probably do, but I would probably at least threaten her with it…

I don’t know that I would have her call all these people, as much as you don’t wnt to do it, you have no control over what she says to them. She could make you look bad to all his relatives

Post # 12
Member
5788 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Do not let this woman ruin your wedding. Tell her that there will be someone at the door with a list at your wedding and that she will be required to stand next to him to personally apologize to anyone SHE invited that is not on the list. The threat of public humiliation usually gets people.

Post # 14
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ouch. This is awful. Your Future Mother-In-Law needs to either contact all of these people, and let them know that she made a mistake, and they aren’t actually invited, or she needs to come up with some serious cash to pay for all these people (if that’s even possible with your venue!). Can you try and strike a compromise with her for an at-home reception for her people at a later date (that she foots the bill for!)? I’m so sorry – this is just ridiculous behavior, and you shouldn’t have to deal with it.

Post # 15
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Honestly, I’d cancel. Why risk it? My husband and I were married at the courthouse and I tell you, it was the best decision we ever made. We didn’t have to deal with the drama or anything and it was just about US. He was holding our oldest daughter and I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t even realize it the entire time.  It wasn’t worth the hassle for us to go through anything like this. My mom’s family is pretty big and we would have been paying for everything on our own. Wasn’t gonna happen. If you and your Fiance aren’t opposed to the idea, that would be my vote….

 

::EDIT:: I’m only saying this because even if you do damage control and call everyone and tell them they can’t come, etc, that by no means will mean she won’t go behind your back and reinvite people. That is an awful lot of surprise guests and I honestly couldn’t risk it. JMO. Best of luck!!! 

Post # 16
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

@Tuesdayschild:

I think it absolutely sucks that you have to do the damage control.  You should HAVE to explain it’s not in the budget. It’s really none of their bloody business and shouldn’t be except for Mother-In-Law.
Can’t your Fiance get through to her?

 

 

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