Post # 1
I’m 32 and my fiance is 36. We have been together 4 years and planning our wedding for this year. However, since we started working from home my fiance’s drinking has been out of control. He also recently discovered an app called houseparty and he spends ALL DAY on that app and drinking. To make matters worse, he has a 4 year part time and I have my 9 year od full time. We all live together but I am taking care of the kids alone because he is always sitting outside on his phone. I tried talking to him and he says yeah that’s what women do, always complain. This weekend things got even worse, he was on the app all day on Saturday, then at 10pm told me he was being picked up by his friend and going out. His friend came and picked him up, he was out until 7am, at which point he came home with a random woman I’ve never met, telling me they went to her house for a party and her mom went crazy and beat them up so they had to call the police, and the police told her she shouldn’t go back on her house so she had nowhere to go that why he brought her home. I was floored, to be honest. His behavior is nowhere close to what I would expect of a husband or a father. I have nothing against him going out every once in a while, as I like to do myself. However, I would never dream of consistently abandoning my family to be on an app, or bringing random people home. As we speak today he has been on this app since 11am, and it’s almost midnight. What can I do here?
Post # 2
Read your post and pretend it’s a friend, what would you tell her to do. There’s so much to address but the bottom line is that you need to leave the relationship, no way you should be putting up with this behavior. Also, where do you live that he’s going out? Do you not have a stay at home order and even if you don’t, he’s going out in the middle of a global pandemic and putting your and the kids health at risk….please leave as soon as possible. Virtual hugs to you by the way, this seems like an awful situation.
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
You can leave. He has no respect for you and doesn’t give a crap about the children. I don’t know the ins and outs of your relationship but based on your post, it doesn’t seem like it’s worth saving. Sorry you’re going through this but you have to do better for yourself and your child.
Post # 4
Yikes! Get the F out now. Consider yourself blessed that you came to this realization BEFORE the wedding/more kids. Dump his ass. You will find someone SOOO much better.
Post # 5
The circumstances you describe sound like an absolute nightmare. It’s easy for me to say because I’m not invested and you love the guy, I hope… but I’d start planning an exit strategy before you start doubting yourself and take the plunge. This is your life – it’s too short for nonsense and wasted time. At minimum, an all-in effort and commitment to pulling up the big boy pants are 100% required. Sorry if I sound salty or judgy – I went through something similar in my late 20s/early 30s. He finally grew up in his 40s with someone else – although I’m sure he still pulls tool-like antics. So glad I ran for the hills! I’m now happily married and thankful that I listened to my gut. Good luck, Bee!
Post # 6
Call his ex and have her pick up his child. Then kick him to the curb. You are dodging a bullet.
Post # 7
This behavior is ridiculous, some of the worst I’ve ever read about on here. He barely registers as a person to me. Sever all ties ASAP. I will go to sleep tonight hoping to god that the next post I see from you is titled, “Have called wedding off.” Anything short of that would be a tragedy.
Post # 8
I tried talking to him and he says yeah that’s what women do, always complain.
So…this is the first red flag of irreconcilable differences. His unacceptable contempt for you because you expect him to be a parent…? That’s a hard no. The excessive drinking? I would talk to him about treatment for alcoholism if that were the only problem. But the going out all night? No way. I’d leave. Bringing somebody home? I’d leave immediately, but not before calling the police to document that he was drunk and unfilt to take care of his kid. They can give the mother full custody.
This is not a relationship. It is you choosing to stay with someone who uses you and resents you. Leave. And get tested for every STI under the sun.
Post # 9
Hmm, awful partner, crappy parent, despicable human being. That all adds up to a big old NOPE from me.
Call the wedding and the whole relationship off.
Post # 10
What the fuck did I just read? This guy is terrible! What do you do?! You dump his ass and thank the lord you didn’t legally tie yourself to him yet! Sheesh!
Post # 11
this, yes OP, please get tested.
Post # 12
This guy sounds like trash. Get yourself and your child out of that environment immediately–you both deserve better.
Post # 13
Read this and repeat for as many times as it takes you to leave this one-sided relationship: “You deserve better.”
Post # 14
Tahnk you ladies, I NEEDED to hear this !
Post # 15
Please leave him. You deserve better