Post # 1
So Ladies.. what should i do? Here is the story.. When my best friend and I were like 14 yrs old we always talked about our weddings.. we spent hrs and hrs talking about it.. and how we gonna be each others brides mates.. She moved to a different state like 4yrs ago and we really just hung out like 4-5 times within the time and talk on the phone every 2 months.. basically we went our own ways..
When i got engaged.. i called her and she sort of assumed that she will be my Maid/Matron of Honor.. and i kind of went with that.. ( my fault i know) but the more i think about it i really dont think she should be my brides mates at all.. we dont hang out now.. why should i have her as my Maid/Matron of Honor.. or even brides mate.. Plus, i want her to be here for my bridal shower, help me out with wedding ideas etc.. but i know she will only be able to make it to my wedding..
I dont know what to do? Should i be like “hey you cant be my brides mate?” or just still let her be one.. ahhhh.. im so confused.. How should i handle this?? Please help…
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden
Maybe you can tell her that you want a bridal party that is closer to you geographically so that they can help out with the wedding. But to soften the blow, maybe you can let her do a reading at the ceremony or something?
Post # 4
I was thinking of calling her and just be like “i really need you to he here for me you cant make it to my bridal shower well maybe you just should just come to my wedding.. i dont know its hard…
Post # 5
You should definitely do it now because it’s not going to get any better as it gets closer to the wedding, and you don’t feel comfortable about a bmaid choice (who was not even your choice!)
Try to get her to say it first—lay it on thick by telling her everything you’ll need her to do, like be there for the engagement dinner, bridal shower, bachelorette party, pick out bridesmaid dresses, etc etc…it will be awkward in any situation but I think this is the best way to do it.
Post # 6
So I finally got the will power and all my strength to ask her how she feels about being away from me when I needed her for my wedding.. and all the planning. I also kind of asked her to give me a final statement if shes gonna be my Maid/Matron of Honor and if she will be there through all the times. I told her I will not be mad if she says No.. and ill find someone else.
She had no choice but tell me she wont make it and maybe its best to find someone else. I was soooo happy. I know it sounds mean.. but I had to do this and its the best choice for both of us. Now Im having my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor and my FI’s sister as a second Bridesmaid or Best Man.. Its gonna be a great time.
Thank you all for your great advice!!