- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2015 - Beach
This whole planning process has been just a nightmare for me. I thought as I got closer to the date, I’d get excited, but I’m just getting stressed out about the details and the money. My fiance and I planned to pay for our whole wedding, which is stressful in itself. People have tried to help us out, but either can’t follow through with their promises or withdraw completely.
My dad and stepmom and I had reconciled after 3 years estrangement. They tried to help with the wedding by offering to pay for my dress and host the shower. We got into a fight and they have since recinded all involvement and may not even come. My grandmother declined to come dress shopping with me. She’s 77, so I can understand, but I’m her only granddaughter and she had no daughters of her own, so I thought she’d be so excited to come.
Then one of my BMs and Groomsmen (brother and sister) and their mom offered to host the shower. Then my fiance and his groomsman started fighting and they have withdrawn from hosting the shower. My other BMs are not actively involved in planning the wedding. I’ve tried to get them involved by asking what they think of ideas for centerpieces, dresses, flowers, etc., but they’re just not interested.
My fiance’s family has been almost absent in the planning and haven’t offered any help, only asking to add people to the guest list (which they aren’t paying for). To my Future Father-In-Law, it’s almost as if we aren’t even getting married because he never talks about the wedding. My fiance is super stressed about paying for it. We have the means, but he’ll make off-hand comments about how we are “lighting our money on fire”. He’s also upset about my folks and how they’ve been acting (my biological mom died earlier this year, and my step mom continues to talk trash about her as if she’s still alive).
We’ve brought up several times about how it kind of feels like we are having this party for other (ungrateful) people, and it’s not even about US as a couple. We have been fighting (which we NEVER used to do) and just plain miserable about the whole process. It’s not even fun anymore! Last night, my fiance asked if we should just elope.
So I’ve gone through the motions, hoping that other people (and by extension me) will get excited. We booked the hall ($1,000), I bought invites ($100), put a deposit on my dress ($200), put a deposit in to the Justice of the Peace ($50). I’m not sure how much of that money I can get back.
It sucks because I really wanted OUR day to be about US and to surround ourselves with people we love and that love us. But this wedding has just brought the ugliest of the ugly out of everyone! I’d also hate to lose the venue, because it is just so beautiful. But the more time goes on, the less “special” it feels and eloping sounds more appealing. I’ve brought it up before to my fiance, but this was the first time he brought it up with me.
Have any other brides out there bailed on their wedding halfway through in favor of eloping? It almost feels like we’d be doing it just to run from our problems, which is not our style.