(Closed) Thinking of eloping (half-way through planning)

posted 4 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Carmen\'s Lakeview

Megbee617:  I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time! I’ve felt the same way SO many times, like nobody’s helping and everyone has a negative comment to make. Try not to let them take away from your day! People may be rude and ugly about it now, but on your wedding day nobody will do that to you 🙂

Plus it sounds like you’ve already talked yourself out of eloping :p

Post # 3
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Megbee617:  I wish I could! I shoul dhave before sending invites out!

I tried to switch to an elopment last month which was like 3 months prior to the wedding but it was too late. I wish I could have because my family is awful as well!

Post # 4
Member
1653 posts
Bumble bee

I SAY “DO IT”  it will be much less stressfull and less cost. Screw the haters and ungratefuls.  it is about you and dont let them rain on your parade, call the venue and see if you can get the money or a portion back, it will still be less cost.

Post # 5
Member
893 posts
Busy bee

Megbee617:  I second PP. Do it. If your families are making this hard for you and you feel like it’s not about you and Fiance anymore, then you lose nothing but some money by just cutting your losses and eloping. It will save you headaches and heartaches and more family drama. You can probably get something back from the hall, you need the Justice of the Peace anyway so no loss there, you can still wear your dress, and you’ll save on all the other things you won’t purchase. Just take a nice honeymoon if you can instead.

Post # 6
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yep, I was on the same timeline as you too. Decided in late April to cancel my October wedding and eloped in June of last year. Best decision ever! I lost thousands but it was more than worth it to have our day be just us and about only us. 

Post # 8
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee

I’m just here because 250 days out and i’m thinking the exact same thing. We haven’t sent out save the dates or anything yet so there’s still time. 

Post # 9
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

We had very very similar problems. My biological dad and I are estranged so he didn’t even bother answering my email about getting married, my mom and step dad picked fights with me after already saying they weren’t helping pay for anything and I had to ask my Maid/Matron of Honor to step down for her bad behavior, and then she threw a tantrum and said some very nasty things to me and got herself uninvited. Yes, I considered eloping at that point. We aren’t doing it.. My rationale was… I want the real wedding, and if we eloped instead I would be letting those people take my wedding away from me. I can definitely see why you want to elope and it might be a good idea, just giving you my perspective.

Post # 10
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee

Yup. Elopement has crossed my mind more than once or twice. I’m not having a big wedding but it’s just as much planning. I don’t have a wedding party so there’s none of that drama but there’s not a lot of help to be had, either. We wanted to elope originally but my mother was very hurt by that. She and my father ponied up about 1/3 of the costs (neither really knows how much the average wedding costs and if I told them, they’d tell me to just settle on things I wouldn’t be happy with for the sake of cost cutting). Anyways, the $ is a big deal since we’re trying to buy a house but we’re less than 5 months away with so many non-refundable deposits. I love my fiance, friends, and family so even though this all seems a bit overwhelming for one damn day, I’m determined to continue to try to make it the BEST damn day for us. I am trying to take it a day at a time and just focus on being grateful that I am getting married to such a wonderful person. But I would be lying if I didn’t say I will be relieved when things go back to normal once the day is done.

Post # 11
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Do it!! If I were you I would take the money you would have spent on a reception and have a destination elopement. Just the two of you, wherever you love to be, tying the knot! So romantic and stress-free. Good luck to you!

Post # 12
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

We’ve gone back and forth between destination wedding and eloping (either way in Isla Mujeres, Mexico) and finally settled on eloping. I started planning the Destination Wedding and the stress and the cost was overwhelming (we’re paying for everything ourselves too) and we also have some weird family stuff and it would just be awkward to force everyone to come down. We’re going to have a casual BBQ at one of our parents house when we come back and anyone who wants to celebrate our marriage can come. It’s already so much easier this way. Just my $.02

Post # 13
Member
33 posts
Newbee

I’m in a similar boat, so I understand your frustration!!! My mother passed away too, most of my family have informed me that they are refusing to come because they don’t agree with other guests, and I am the one financing my wedding completely by myself. My Fiance makes less money then I do so he can’t contribute. We have decided that instead of throwing a large wedding for people who obviously don’t want to be there, we are going to do a small package of up to 18 guests and get married in Disneyworld. It’s MUCH cheaper then our original wedding plan, and we still get to bring some of the closest people with us. I would suggest looking into something like this or a destination wedding, where they will fly out 8-10 of your family/friends with you. You get the best of both worlds. It’s much less stress and you still get to have a few people there with you on your special day! Ever since I have made this decision it feels like a huge weight was lifted off my chest and I’m actually excited about Planning the wedding again. One thing I have learned is that a lot of people will make things about themselves regardless of how big or important the day is. 

Post # 14
Member
58 posts
Worker bee

I say do it!  It sounds like your family’s lives won’t skip a beat if you don’t have a big wedding anyway.  We eloped because we wanted to have pleasant memories when we looked back on our day instead of recalling all the family drama.  You could always pay for a couple of your close family or friends to stay where you’re staying to be at the ceremony… or NOT.  There are so many awesome elopement packages and places these days that it will be just as memorable, romantic and beautiful as having a big monstrosity of a wedding.

Post # 15
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Uggggh I am so there with you. So many times we said “we should have just eloped”. Nobody’s helped, we’re stressed and fighting, it’s just taken all the joy out of it. We are only 75 days out and would lose so much $$ at this point, so we’ve got to see it through. We wanted to elope originally, but our families and friends were so upset, that we decided to have a wedding. Just going to say “screw it” and hope the day is worth it. At least I know that if my Fiance and I can get through this, we’lo make it through anything?

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